Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Anger is necessary, as part of healing & grieving.

I wrote a blog yesterday, about how I am not defined by all the abusers have done to me, I am defined by my courage to survive it all, to overcome it all and be a good person.

I struggle to allow myself anger. I suppress it. And I feel a lot of confusion and fear, when I feel anger. Yet, I know anger is a very needed, appropriate and normal emotion, after abuse and trauma. Especially the severity of trauma I have endured.

This came up in counselling last week, were I tried to explain I know I have anger within me. And I can’t cope with it, so I just suppress it.

This week in counselling, While explaining this processing I have been doing, I tentatively said, the success of this blog, my website and all the amazing feedback I get – is kind of a big middle finger, to all those who harmed me.

I said this tentatively, because I am conflicted as to whether giving all the abusers the middle finger, is appropriate and okay. I realise I was apprehensive, as to whether my counsellor would feel this was wrong. Whether this would make me a ‘bad’ person.

Her response, was very encouraging of me writing about this anger I feel and indeed, putting a pic of a middle finger, to all those who harmed me, mistreated me, abused me and treated me as a worthless person. And how this is okay to do on my blog. Continue reading


Paris extremist terrorist attacks…….. and cue the racism.

I am an advocate against all forms of abuse. This includes racism.

I’ve already been linked on twitter to a racist post, stating ‘Muslim rampage’. So that person has been blocked.

These terrorist attacks, do not represent all Muslim people and I do not ‘generalise’ all Muslims in the way so many racist people do.

Racism, homophobia, and all other forms of abuse, are not condoned, enabled or excused by me.

I will also add, I fully believe terrorists have no religion, just hatred and a desire to do evil.

Glad to see this. The Uniting Church, are leading the way in Christians for marriage equality.

Just as I was feeling very alone in my Christian understanding of supporting marriage equality etc… and I read this. Thank you God ❤

Speaking up about abuse not being okay in any form, including spiritual abuse by church people, is part of my journey.

Abuse of any type, is never okay and never excusable.


Uniting Church Minister Margaret Mayman writes “The recent decision to legalise marriage for same sex couples in Ireland has been cast as a victory against the Catholic Church. What secular commentators miss is that it was a decisive victory for ordinary Christians.” Continue reading


Being ‘religious’ has a negative effect on children’s EQ.


This study and it’s conclusions, doesn’t surprise me at all. The reason why – many adult religious people are uncaring, judgmental and lack empathy and that then clearly impacts the children they raise.

Two examples spring to mind, that many religious people hold onto with all their lack of empathy.

  1. Physical discipline – which is child abuse and domestic violence. Hardly conducive to raising caring children, at all. Children learn what are modelled and shown. If abused, they will often learn to be the same. Religious mind control demands that.
  2. Abusing LGBTIQ – in demanding it is sin, when it isn’t. Plus all the abuse that follows that. Hardly empathy, or compassion.

Both of these alone, are the issues of many religious church people. Absolute spiritual abuse, as well as emotional, mental, psychological abuse also. Continue reading


Someone is trying to hack my Twitter accounts and email.

Within the last week, I have had notifications from Twitter (over 20), about both of my Twitter accounts having attempted hacking. Then had notifications about my personal email being attempted to be accessed and how to deal with this.

I’ve needed to change my passwords for all. And I will continue to keep changing my passwords frequently.

It is clearly a personal attack (as it is my personal email address, which only those who know me, would know) and with malicious reasons, for wanting to hack my accounts. I wonder what they intend doing if they were successful in hacking my accounts?

There are not many who know my personal email. So, it is easier to work out who it may be. Continue reading


Don’t make excuses for nasty people….

I don’t make excuses for intentionally and continually nasty people. I’m a realist and see past the excuse making and spin people can put on why some people are horrible human beings. I don’t rationalise their behaviours, to make my life easier. I call it as it is. Which is far more honest and dealing in reality.

Sure, people can all make mistakes, act out of character, do things wrong, sometimes. People are human, not perfect. But it how they deal with that, that matters to me. That’s the test of people’s character, heart and soul.

When these negative behaviours are frequent and the person is doing nothing to stop, has no remorse, and is harming people, that is never okay. And those who do try to rationalise this, choose to make excuses, are simply disordered in their own thinking and unwilling to deal with truth. Many will claim this is being non judgmental, which is again a rationalisation and a complete lack of empathy, for those being harmed.

And remember, those being harmed are not having a choice in what is happening to them and do not deserve it. The ones doing the harming – do have a choice. Most mental health issues, do not render people incapable of making better choices and do not render people incapable of stopping harmful behaviours. They simply choose not to change and refuse to have remorse, or a conscience, or empathy.  Continue reading


8 Types Of Toxic Patterns In Mother-Daughter Relationships – Peg Streep, Psychology Today Article


This article focusses on emotional abuse, toxic and disordered mothers inflict on their daughters.

It is sad when you read through insightful articles, and realise you are ticking all the types of toxic behaviours and as you go down the list.

It is important the ‘parentification’ (role reversed) abuse, is highlighted as not commonly known or talked about. It is a deep form of neglect and abuse, rarely understood.

My mother is a deeply toxic, disordered, sick, unwell, intentionally abusive woman. And I have no guilt in saying that anymore. There were more abusive behaviours from my mother, than detailed in this article.

And it is needed to be understood – other types of abuse can cause even greater damage, like physical abuse and sexual abuse/sexual exploitation and often to far greater depths, because they are combined with this emotional abuse.

It is an act of self compassion and healing, to state and know the truth. As only then can you begin to truly heal and grieve. Continue reading

“The finest souls are those who gulped pain and avoided making others taste it.”

I love this quote.


There are many who do make others, feel their pain. And abuse people.

There are some who don’t. And they are the courageous and empathic souls, who know pain and suffering and don’t make others feel it too.

You can have empathy and a moral compass, despite what you have endured and abuse is never excusable. Continue reading

Attending a public demonstration/rally, against domestic violence this week.

There is a big demonstration/rally being held in Brisbane, QLD, this week, which I am attending. It’s a peaceful demonstration and speakers and politicians will be present. The state premier will be there.

I’m attending to show my support. I’m taking my husband (cop) and children too. I model pro-active compassion and being an active voice, showing support to those in need. My children will know why we are there, to an age appropriate level. Continue reading