Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Supporting good people, often leads to abuse from toxic religious people. So be it.

It has been reported a gay priest has been booted out by the Vatican. Sure, they are meant to be celibate, but it is pretty clear where that toxic rule leads….. priests having sex and sadly also to abuse. (These are separate issues).

They keep paedophile priests in ministry, but not the gay ones. Wow.

It is interesting they are quick to boot out a priest for not remaining celibate and being gay…. but don’t boot out all the paedophile priests and those who protect and enable them. Continue reading


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Preventing child abuse and neglect, is a moral and economic imperative – Tonette Walker

http://www.jsonline.com/news/opinion/preventing-child-abuse-and-neglect-is-a-moral-and-economic-imperative-b99542882z1-318503391.html

I agree.

Pretending child abuse and neglect doesn’t exist, minimizing it, avoiding it, denying it, excusing it……. is not helping in any way.

People can harp on about compassion for abusive people, and forget the greater compassion needed for the child victims and keep perpetuating abuse in the process. Choose to believe they don’t intend to harm children, but that does not help children being abused and the physical and mental health lifelong issues it creates.

I am over people making excuses for those who intentionally abuse children. Continue reading


Twitter reminds me of all the many organisations helping abuse survivors.

helping hands

Twitter reminds me of all the organisations and charities helping so many survivors of abuse and trauma.

It reminds me of the wonderful and compassionate people helping so many and the tireless and needed work all done collectively in this world to help abuse survivors, and especially child abuse survivors.

I am so thankful for them all, and each and every person involved!! Continue reading


Wow, when I find out I am helping transgender people through my work, I want to cry.

To receive a message from a transgender community, stating my work, website etc helps them with the PTSD and Complex PTSD many deal with, that to me is huge.

I’ve made is very clear in this blog, I am not okay at all with the prejudice and abuse LGBTIQ people endure, and despite not knowing their journeys many face personally, I have the empathy and intelligence to know, they are human beings who deserve respect.

I base and judge people on their actions and behaviours, not on anything else. Being LGBTIQ does not make someone a freak, weird, bad and all the other labels they get.

My life has taught me sexual orientation, gender, skin colour, religion, does not determine a person. Only their behaviours and actions and how they treat others, matters to me.

I filled up knowing I am reaching and helping people throughout many communities, where so much trauma and abuse occurs. And I am so aware of how much more abuse LGBTIQ communities endure. It’s so very wrong. I see how PTSD and Complex PTSD will result from the types of abuse they endure, from family, society etc. Continue reading


I don’t want school chaplains telling my children any abusive religious BS either.

http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/concern-over-chaplaincy-program-for-gay-and-lesbian-students-20150926-gjvniv.html

Despite being a Christian, I am seriously concerned about school chaplains, especially having known a few, who were of the right wing, hard line, conservative, spiritually abusive mindset.

Whilst I would like Christianity promoted, I also don’t want people abused and especially not children. And too many church people love to use their religious beliefs to harm others, especially LGBTIQ.

I’ve already seen so called Christians concerned about this, and how their ‘beliefs’ about being gay being sin, being complex issue for chaplains to deal with. It’s not a complex issue at all. Jesus spoke very little about being gay and church people including chaplains need to keep very quiet about their views on being gay, supposedly being sin. When in fact there is a great deal of evidence to state that Biblically, no it is not sin. These church people claim not to judge and tell everyone else not to judge, yet judge gay people continually. Hypocrites. Continue reading


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Not sure I agree with refusing a visa to Chris Brown.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-09-27/chris-brown-blocked-from-australia/6807794

Chris Brown the singer, has been refused a visa to come to Australia. This is based on his conviction of domestic violence in 2009. I understand the reasons for wanting to refuse a visa, and this a legally okay.

I also understand domestic violence is a huge topic in Australia atm. Good, so it needs to be. Australia has far too much DV occurring and too often it is condoned, enabled, excused and a lot of victim blaming occurs. I am not in any way okay with any of that. A lot needs to change in Australia, to stop the levels of abuse, violence etc occurring and stop victim blaming.

I believe domestic violence is wrong, not excusable and needs to be taken very seriously, as far too many women and children are dying and being murdered at the hands of those committing domestic violence/abuse. (And yes, women can be abusers too, but so far this year in Australia, all DV murders have been women and children – at the hands of men).

But, this situation with Chris Brown, as far I can see, is a one time abuse situation. I have no idea whether he is remorseful, and whether he has worked on ensuring he is no longer the angry younger man he admits he was. I don’t know where he is at in changing into a decent man, with better morals, better character traits and therefore, I will not assume he is not a better man now, than he was then.

This was a one time incident. Terrible one yes. But, from all I can see, he has not repeated it. Should he be punished for the rest of his life for this one time incident? I believe not. If this was repeated ongoing abuse and he was clearly an unrepentant man, my view would be very different. And I am a survivor of domestic violence/abuse, as my ex husband was an abusive alcoholic and gambling addict, so I do have a voice in this matter.

I have repeatedly stated in counselling, I know people can really fuck up and do things that are very wrong, and have remorse, have regret, have shame about what they have done and want to change for the better. I want people who do wrong and harm others to seek help, have remorse and change for the better. I don’t condemn them to a life of punishment Continue reading


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The first 20 years of my life, was surviving hell on earth.

When you are surrounded by evil, with not a single person to rely on, not a single person there for you in any healthy way… it is indeed a type of hell on earth.

My childhood was ‘living in the garden of evil’. Evil was occurring continually. Ongoing intentional abuse, sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, is evil.

I survived every kind of ongoing, severe abuse occurring, from those who were supposed to love, protect and cherish me. Endured the worst forms of betrayal. It should have killed me, and nearly has, many times.

I don’t minimise this anymore. I also do not justify or condone what any of these people did. I don’t make excuses for them. Not anymore. I validate, understand the depths of the harm caused, and the severe issues of those who caused it, condoned it, enabled it. And how deeply wrong all that was/is. Continue reading


Taking some baby items, to domestic violence survivors.

I saw a post to a local social media page ‘pay it forward’, where a woman was asking to be considered for a cot. She stated she is a DV survivor, has fled the abuse and set up home by herself, but has virtually nothing. And is 19 weeks pregnant and has a young child.

I have a lovely bassinet and change table, so I messaged her and offered her these. She messaged me back profusely thanking me for the offer, stating her friend is also a DV survivor and has a baby. She seemed very surprised by the kindness being offered to her.

I’m delivering them tomorrow, with my husband – as I don’t know these people. I can be compassionate….. and careful. Continue reading


I feel sad for Anna Duggar, but still more concerned for her children. The children are voiceless.

http://www.msn.com/en-au/entertainment/celebrity/the-sad-reason-josh-duggars-wife-wont-leave-him/ar-AAdO2rs

I agree with all of the above link. It is an intelligent assessment of the Duggar situation.

I agree with this….

“Although it is easy to judge Anna Duggar for her decision to stand by her man, it’s important to understand the psychology behind this imbalanced relationship. In Anna’s environment, victim-blaming and sexism seem to be just as powerful as the so-called Christian principles she’s following. Often, they go hand-in-hand.”

Victim blaming is rife in church circles and many other religions. I’ve written about that many times. But, this article doesn’t take into account the affect on their children. The increased threat of abuse and sexual abuse to their children. Most articles about the Duggars, don’t highlight the affect on their children. Continue reading


Thank you Lisa Wilkinson, for speaking up about domestic abuse.

http://www.msn.com/en-au/news/australia/%e2%80%98this-country-is-in-crisis%e2%80%99-lisa-wilkinson-pleads-for-gold-coast-mother%e2%80%99s-death-not-to-pass-unnoticed/ar-AAe7KeO?li=AAavLaF&ocid=U305DHP

I’ve always known Lisa Wilkinson has a level of maturity I relate to. Her views on 50 Shades of Grey, were 100% spot on.

Domestic violence/domestic abuse, are far greater issue than the threat of terrorism. So many people are being terrorised in their own homes, by family/partners/ex partners every day. And there is nowhere near the outrage required over this. Or the empathy needed.

Most people ignore the domestic abuse/child abuse issue…. but will be outraged over animal cruelty, or the lessor threat of terrorism (lessor compared to deaths caused by DV). Continue reading