Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

People ‘telling people’ how to grieve & there is only one way to grieve, lack empathy & insight.


Whenever someone says there is only one way to deal with some kind of trauma, such as grieving the death of a loved one, I know I am dealing with someone lacking in insight and empathy.

There are many different ways people process grieving. And no-one can say which is right or wrong.

Black and white thinking about issues, is the mark of someone who has cognitively distorted thinking, and chooses to only see something one way and their way is the only way.

It is also harmful to tell people how they ‘should’ grieve, what grieving should look like and how long it should take.

Notice the word ‘should’. There is no should in rational, mature, deep thinking. ‘Should’ is a cognitive distortion of it’s own.

Telling someone how to grieve, also ‘shames’ people and makes them feel their pain and emotion are wrong. They are not  wrong. Continue reading

Find good mentors, advisors and role models.

Find good mentors, advisors and role models

“Be careful where you get your information. A lot of people who talk about success aren’t very successful. A lot of people who teach about business aren’t very accomplished at business.

There must be a million social media experts who haven’t accomplished anything with social media.

Too many people out there are giving other people bad information; some call that the blind leading the blind, and it can not only be immoral, but it can even be dangerous.

If someone is telling you how to be good to yourself — it is reasonable to have a close look at them and see if they are good to themselves.

People who talk a lot about compassion often have no compassion for themselves. They want to help everyone when their life is a wreck.

They go from one failed “uplifting” enterprise to another, but the wheels are falling-off their car, their body is out of whack and their finances are out of order, yet somehow, there they are, “advising people.” They want to help everyone when they can’t even help themselves. What they really need to do is take care of their own business.

The last thing any of us need is ill advice from someone fully out of control in their own life. So before you take that advice that is being offered, take a good look at who is delivering it.

Carefully study their energy, their lifestyle, their health and their relationships, and if they are living the life they talk — then, and only then should you listen.”

Bryant McGill.