Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Apathy. Everywhere.

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It’s been a really bad week where I live, for domestic violence. A child murdered. Another nearly murdered. Two women murdered. People are witnessing these deaths. Family’s are suffering. Police and first responders are dealing with all this. Many people traumatised and affected.

What never fails to shock me, is many people’s attitude to this.

Comments like ‘I don’t watch any news anymore’. Comments that show utter contempt for how this news is affecting ‘their’ lives. I mean how dare these victims be murdered and spoil other people’s lives… with this bad news…. How dare these people suffer and die….. and spoil other people’s lives….. Continue reading


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People who make excuses for those who intentionally harm others, are enabling them.

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The world is full of people making excuses for nasty people. It’s easier to condone it, than to confront it. Confronting it, takes more effort and more integrity. Apathy and enabling go on all the time, and are preferred by those who lack maturity, lack conscience, lack insight, lack courage and lack integrity to truth.

Making excuses for nasty people, is unwise and enabling. I don’t think many realise they are being manipulated by people who choose to harm others and have no remorse, no conscience, no empathy, no guilt and like hurting others. Feeling sorry for them and making excuses for them, is exactly what these people want and they will manipulate people continually.

All these personality traits many people lack – conscience, remorse, empathy, guilt, honesty… are the traits of those with narcissistic, sociopathic, psychopathic disorders, and they do not care who they hurt and they know what they do is wrong. They are not delusional or psychotic. They are completely aware of their chosen actions.

Having learned from experts, that 1 in 10 people are really high on the continuum for narcissism/sociopathy/psychopathy and this is increasing …. it makes the world very unhealthy. There are a lot of people out there, who lack the basic human qualities and virtues of empathy, conscience, remorse, that are required to be a decent human being.

To make excuses, enables them. It plays into their needs. It sends them a really bad message that what they do, is okay. Making excuses for them, blaming their childhood, blaming it on mental health, is a cop out to pander to their needs.

Many people who have bad childhoods, don’t end up being abusers, so a bad childhood is not an excuse. It may be a factor in the reasons, but it is not ever an excuse. To abuse people, is still a choice. And those choices should not be excused.

Those who claim excuses need to made for people who intentionally harm others, and then make the victims feel ‘bad’ for having appropriate understanding and emotions about the harm causes, are being abusive themselves, even if un-intentionally. Emotionally abusive, and shifting blame and shame from the perpetrator of the abuse, to the victim. Continue reading