Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

After being ‘shamed’ within so much complex trauma, I don’t intend being shamed anymore.


I am repairing my sense of self, identity and all the shame I have endured over decades, at the hands and dark souls of too many people, since early childhood.

I realise how much shame I have been inflicted with. I don’t intend to be shamed any further. By anyone. As even my counsellor was told, this week.

Shame has been heaped on me throughout my life. I won’t allow it to happen any more. Continue reading


The lack of empathy/support for children with PTSD, from adults with PTSD, is blatant amongst advocates.

I have noticed a continuing pattern of adults with PTSD, being very supportive of other adults with PTSD, but when it comes to posts about children with PTSD, failing to be anywhere near as supportive.

In fact, I have noticed an overwhelming failure by society at large to care about children, in many ways. Perfect example….. it’s okay to hit your children and call it ‘discipline’, but hit an adult family member and that’s domestic violence. Bizarre thinking. Totally hypocritical.

Adults are far more willing to care about how adults feel…. and often far less concerned about how children feel.

When it comes to trauma and abuse, many within the PTSD advocacy field, care a lot less about children who have suffered trauma and have PTSD, than adults.

Which is so wrong, because children suffer more due to their lack of coping skills, immature brain development and when their caregivers are involved/complicit or neglectful, the trauma is far worse. It doesn’t take much empathy to realise feeling such deep fear, and enduring such trauma to cause PTSD, as a child, is worse. Continue reading

Must get my book finished & published. Especially as I have so much support from professionals.

I’m aware, I have a lot of support from professionals, in the trauma / mental health / PTSD field.

I am aware of the need for more info about Complex Trauma & Complex PTSD to be out there, to validate other survivors, provide info and education from a sufferer perspective.

And I am a multiple complex trauma survivor, with much experience of different types of complex trauma and trauma which includes every type of abuse. And complex trauma is still a relatively new field of psychology and I have had many professionals confirm they have learned from my blog and website, to better help their clients. That is really important and significant. Continue reading


Father pimped out daughter, to paedophiles. One of whom is a pastor, and a prison fellowship manager


Father pimped out daughter to paedophiles, and this girl was horrifically abused.

One of these was a church pastor and former Prison Fellowship manager. Sounds to me like he surrounded himself with fellow criminals and offenders, because he is exactly like them. He was probably advocating for people like himself – paedophiles and child abusers, to be released from prison, and their crimes minimized. And all the while he is horrifically raping and abusing a child.


Each one of these men deserve to be in prison for the rest of their natural lives.

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Sexual Intimacy After Childhood Sexual Abuse, Complex Trauma & Severe Neglect


This article is excellent and does raise important and very difficult issues – childhood complex trauma, child sexual abuse and severe childhood neglect survivors can face with sexual intimacy.

I’ve personally given up on this issue. I don’t have what I need in my life in terms of support to address my huge issues with this. My issues with this run so deep and I realise I need specialised support and I don’t have it. And I do understand those who have similar issues with lack of support to deal with this, can find this too hard to deal with.

But, I do believe for many others, there is hope with the right support and healing that come from that support.

Actual abuse like ongoing physical or sexual abuse to a child, causes profound fear.

Actual abuse caused to a child’s body, should not be minimized, or compared to witnessing abuse.

The fear of ongoing abuse caused to a child’s body, causes considerable fear.

PTSD kids5-001

Physical abuse and sexual abuse, are also emotional/mental/psychological abuse and neglect.

The child not only fears it happening again, but knows what the abuse feels like and is having their body violated.

There are people minimizing this, by suggesting a child witnessing abuse only – is worse than a child actually enduring the abuse. Which is absolute rubbish and a complete minimization of a child enduring abuse to their own body. Such a lack of empathy for children enduring their body being violated. Continue reading

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Children Who Suffer Early Trauma, Do Not Just ‘Get Over It’. Excellent article.


The terms ‘get over it’ and ‘move on’ etc are highly inappropriate, lacking in trauma knowledge, and re-traumatising. And this applies to a lot of trauma, but far more so for children who experience abuse, child abuse, child sexual abuse, domestic violence, etc.

The child’s brain is not fully formed, and the continual fear and trauma, programs a child’s brain for fear and this does not stop once the child becomes an adult.

If the child does not receive support, counselling etc, this will worsen the child’s prognosis for any recovery.

The child also does not have the same capacity to cope with trauma, as an adult. And cannot seek help the same way an adult can, especially when growing in toxic home.

This will impact any recovery in adulthood, especially if the prolonged child trauma survivor, does not seek help until decades later. Often suppressing the trauma, until later in life. As I did, and then having a breakdown.

I am glad to see greater research and understanding of this continually within the trauma/abuse field. Continue reading


Shame shifting – from perpetrator/offender/abuser – to victim. I see clearly how much this goes on.

‘Shame shifting’.

A common occurrence in society. Prolific behaviour within dysfunctional/disordered/toxic families. A much utilised tool for spiritual abuse by many church/religious people.

I see this all very clearly.

I’ve always ‘known’ instinctively how wrong this is. Always felt it. But, didn’t have the understanding or ability to put words to it.

I do now.

Shame is about feeling like a bad person. Being made to feel like a bad person. Abuse survivors, do not need to be abused further, by being shamed. Abuse survivors, did not have a choice when abused. The abuser, did have a choice.

Shame shifting is common with those who demand forgiveness for abusers. And claim those who don’t forgive their abusers, are the ‘bad people’. Shame shifting from abuser, to victim.

Shame shifting is common with those who demand ‘compassion’ for abusers. And claim those who don’t have compassion, are the ‘bad people’. Shame shifting from abuser, to victim.

Shame shifting is common with those who demand abuse should not be exposed and the victim should keep quiet. And claim those who do speak up, and do expose the evil of abuse, are the ‘bad people’. Shame shifting from abuser, to victim.

No severe abuse survivor, especially those where the abuse is denied by the abuser, ‘has’ to forgive, or ‘has’ to have compassion for an abuser, or ‘has’ to keep quiet.

All that is for the perpetrator’s benefit, and often simply enables them, and protects them. And these demands by others, deeply and negatively affect the victim’s healing journey.

Healing is not dependent on forgiveness, despite what some say. Survivors of severe abuse are free to forgive and free not to forgive and neither is morally better than the other.

But, I see continually how shame is shifted from the abuser… to the victim. Continue reading

‘Be the person you needed when you were younger.’ I am. Now.


I am the person I needed when I was younger. Now.

Someone to protect me, believe me, validate me, look after me, stand up for me, have my best interests at heart and not allow anyone to hurt me.

No-one else wanted to be this. So I learned to be this for myself.

I would probably be dead, if I hadn’t become this over the last few years. I had to become all this, to survive the trauma of understanding everything that has happened to me and the further invalidation and shaming I have endured along the way, by others.

I’ve realised fully, the only (human) person I can trust, is me. The only person who has my back, is me. The only person I can rely on, is me. Continue reading