Picked my son up from a bowling birthday party this arvo that was at a shopping centre, so we stopped in a little café and had some dinner early. It was really lovely, just the 3 of us. Relaxed and fun, my boys have fun characters and I encourage that in them.
We watched some teenagers getting into trouble, with security having to deal with them, so I used the opportunity to explain what is appropriate behaviour and what isn’t. And pointed out that they may come from homes where they don’t have good role models, so we don’t need to ‘hate on’ them, call them names etc (as their father would). But, be aware that their behaviour is wrong. Always good to use real life experiences, to teach them.
As we were laughing at something funny my eldest said, whilst walking through the shopping centre, I saw some people …. an elder and his wife – from the abusive Baptist church, sat at a café. I could see he was looking directly at me, and as I have no idea what his reaction and thoughts are …… I just walked on by, continuing to laugh with my son. I do not have to have interaction with abusive people, or people who condone abuse. I noted that my anxiety did not increase at all seeing them, which is good. I really know I am over all that trauma.
So, we got home and the three of us continued having fun and chatting and I know that I am a really vital part of their life, to teach them right from wrong, teach them how to have virtues and morals, how to behave around women, how to be respectful etc and all the things their father fails at and does not teach them, because he does not possess them.
I realised how much my children need me and how I always need to prioritise them above anything else.
When I made the choice to have children, I made the choice to care for them until they are adults and are able to care for themselves, and I will.
I really love my children.
And they need me.
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