Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Not sure I agree with refusing a visa to Chris Brown.


Chris Brown the singer, has been refused a visa to come to Australia. This is based on his conviction of domestic violence in 2009. I understand the reasons for wanting to refuse a visa, and this a legally okay.

I also understand domestic violence is a huge topic in Australia atm. Good, so it needs to be. Australia has far too much DV occurring and too often it is condoned, enabled, excused and a lot of victim blaming occurs. I am not in any way okay with any of that. A lot needs to change in Australia, to stop the levels of abuse, violence etc occurring and stop victim blaming.

I believe domestic violence is wrong, not excusable and needs to be taken very seriously, as far too many women and children are dying and being murdered at the hands of those committing domestic violence/abuse. (And yes, women can be abusers too, but so far this year in Australia, all DV murders have been women and children – at the hands of men).

But, this situation with Chris Brown, as far I can see, is a one time abuse situation. I have no idea whether he is remorseful, and whether he has worked on ensuring he is no longer the angry younger man he admits he was. I don’t know where he is at in changing into a decent man, with better morals, better character traits and therefore, I will not assume he is not a better man now, than he was then.

This was a one time incident. Terrible one yes. But, from all I can see, he has not repeated it. Should he be punished for the rest of his life for this one time incident? I believe not. If this was repeated ongoing abuse and he was clearly an unrepentant man, my view would be very different. And I am a survivor of domestic violence/abuse, as my ex husband was an abusive alcoholic and gambling addict, so I do have a voice in this matter.

I have repeatedly stated in counselling, I know people can really fuck up and do things that are very wrong, and have remorse, have regret, have shame about what they have done and want to change for the better. I want people who do wrong and harm others to seek help, have remorse and change for the better. I don’t condemn them to a life of punishment Continue reading