Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Glad to see this. The Uniting Church, are leading the way in Christians for marriage equality.

Just as I was feeling very alone in my Christian understanding of supporting marriage equality etc… and I read this. Thank you God ❤

Speaking up about abuse not being okay in any form, including spiritual abuse by church people, is part of my journey.

Abuse of any type, is never okay and never excusable.


Uniting Church Minister Margaret Mayman writes “The recent decision to legalise marriage for same sex couples in Ireland has been cast as a victory against the Catholic Church. What secular commentators miss is that it was a decisive victory for ordinary Christians.” Continue reading

I am so thankful, to help LGBTIQ, about correct Biblical interpretation.

I realise my understanding of LGBTIQ not being sin and why…. will fall on deaf ears with most church people.

I also realise it is a hard job speaking up about this with secular society and people who do not believe in God.

But, I feel the need to speak up where I can. And I do. And I know I will encounter people disagreeing with me.

When I do speak up, it sometimes is exactly what someone needs to hear, as happened today. For that, I am thankful and it helps me to realise, I need to continue.

I spoke up today and it was confirmed by a man, that it “meant a lot to him”, to read my views and “this gay guy can get along with you any time any where. Thank you for speaking out! More need to. If more were like you we would not have to put up with the likes of the gay bashing ACL”

I am so sad to know how much ‘gay bashing goes on’ by church people and the Australian Christian Lobby.

But, I am glad to be able to help this man and anyone else, who may have read it. Continue reading

Fundamentalism, summed up perfectly…

“And fundamentalism I would say, is very unsophisticated about the bible, despite their allegiance to it. Fundamentalists treat the bible as – in Karen Armstrong’s memorable words – as a kind of “holy encyclopaedia in which you can look up information about God”. – Marcus Borg (being interviewed by Stephen Crittenden).

I see this so clearly. And the sad part is, they pride themselves of their unsophisticated beliefs and lack of insight. And therefore, not knowing the truth and who Jesus really is.

I have come to realise, fundamentalism, in any form, including Christian religion, is simply poor mental health. So much brainwashing involved. There are so many cognitive distortions/irrational thinking, and often ego issues within the mindsets of those who choose fundamentalist views.


I am always thankful, when I read the work of Christian theologians, who have the level of depth Continue reading


Find a church….. yeah…. not easy.

My hairdresser is a church goer. She’s a nice enough woman. Each time I attend my hair appointments, she asks me whether I am attending a church now. Each time, I say no. She is aware of the abuse I have endured at a toxic church. In her mind though, I am not a good enough Christian, if I don’t attend church. There is always that attitude – that I ‘should’ be in a church. And no matter how I approach that conversation – it is not ‘good enough’, that I don’t.

It is simply a case of stage 3 faith progression and no awareness of that. You don’t have attend church, to be a Christian. Many spiritually progressed Christians, don’t attend church.

I actually would like to be a part of a church community. I would like to know other Christians. But, I am unwilling to compromise my beliefs, or subject my children to abusive/unsafe/unhealthy/toxic doctrine/environments.

My list of what I will not compromise on are…

  1. They need to not be welcoming child sex offender/paedophiles. I am unapologetic in my belief that they are not to be trusted, and secure in my desire to keep my children safe from sexual abuse.
  2. Has strict child protection strategies in place for youth groups, children’s ministry.
  3. LGBTIQ welcoming. And not only welcoming, but accepting in every sense. No attitudes it is sin. I do not want my children subjected to any views contrary to this.
  4. Not fundamentalist, or right wing/conservative. As I see so much unhealthy, cognitively distorted thinking, I choose to avoid and not subject my children to.
  5. Not enabling/encouraging child abuse in the form of physical discipline. Which I know is abuse and is domestic violence.
  6. Don’t victimise victims further with more abuse – pushing forgiveness, reconciliation etc with abusive people and shaming the victims – as the ‘bad’ people, if they don’t.
  7. Must understand 1st Century Biblical context.
  8. Must be led by spiritually progressed leaders, who are not stuck at stage 3 in faith progression.

Continue reading

Glad to see a healthier Christian ‘middle ground’ view, about Halloween.

My faith, is a part of my journey, And whilst I don’t force my faith on others and I help people regardless of their faith choices, or lack of…. Christian faith for me is vital.

As a Christian and a person who instinctively knows ‘dark stuff’ is not okay, I find Halloween yuck. And always have done. I’m not in to witchcraft, vampires, zombies, dead bodies etc. Or many of the other things celebrated for Halloween. I find it hard to deal with dark stuff that people seem to delight in. I’ve always been personally mildly repulsed by it.

But, I also see the fundamentalist church people’s view, is too far on one end of the continuum, and then celebrating it and delighting in dark stuff, is too far at the other continuum end. The polar ends of continuums, are often where all the cognitive distortion issues lie. I see that playing out all too often. Including in church people’s views.

So, to see a middle ground Christian approach to this, is good. I always know for many issues in life, the middle ground is where the healthy mindset lies.

I do allow my teenager to go trick or treating, Continue reading

Apparently I am a ‘Rainbow Christian’ – and I am absolutely okay with that.

Apparently, I am a rainbow Christian, because I support LGBTIQ Christians and non Christians and don’t abuse them with twisted and out of context OT verses.

I am absolutely okay with being labelled a rainbow Christian, even though I know it’s meant in a mocking manner.

rainbow christian

If having compassion and empathy for people who are good people and should not be abused and condemned for their sexual orientation or gender issues, then I am glad to be labelled.

I don’t judge people based on their sexual orientation etc. I judge people’s actions, heart and motivations. I learned straight, white, intelligent people, and church people, can be some of the most abusive people of all and too many church people use God to abuse people. This never sits well with my soul.

I will take the labels I get given – rainbow Christian, bleeding heart, soft leftie, plus all the other labels have been given in my life – quirky, kooky, weird, different – and wear them well, Continue reading

I love Australia for many reasons, but I don’t love….

I was born here in this beautiful country of Australia. I love the weather, the outdoor lifestyle, the beauty of the land, and many other wonderful Australian delights.

What I do not love are the all too often overt prejudices (racism, homophobia, misogyny etc), I see flaunted continually. I do not like what is behind this – lack of empathy, lack of conscience, lack of compassion, narcissism, entitlement and really shallow thought processes.

I do not like the cruelty Australia is enabling to asylum seekers.

I do not like the deeply widespread issues of domestic violence and child abuse.

I do not like the so called Christians promoting/enabling/encouraging all this.

Australia is really stuck in a time warp. And I don’t have to like any of this, or ignore it, or avoid it. I’m not selfish and I don’t believe in apathy. I have too much integrity, empathy and courage for that. Continue reading

1 Comment

How the fuck did this paedophile enabler end up a ‘Bishop’???


The retired Rockhampton bishop allowed a priest to stay on at a parish even though he knew he was a paedophile, the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse has heard.

Bishop Brian Heenan also admitted at one point he tried to protect the reputation of the Catholic Church rather than consider the victims of sexual abuse.

Bishop Heenan was cross-examined over the Church’s responses to the abuse allegations at St Joseph’s Orphanage at Neerkol, west of Rockhampton, from the 1940s to the 1970s.

He allowed one of the main offenders, Father Reg Durham, to continue working for the Catholic Church for three years despite a woman alleging in 1994 he sexually abused her since she was a child.

The church’s reputation is always paramount. And they are sick bastards.

These abusers get promoted…. they get encouraged and enabled. Why? Because they don’t worship Jesus, they worship Satan. Continue reading


A flicker of hope? Just as I had completely given up….


I am scared to have hope. Scared to think something will be good, in case it’s not. Sacred to be disappointed. Scared to get hurt. Bottom line …….. fear. Of people.

But, I do have a flicker of hope.

This being due to the community volunteering I am going to be involved in every Wednesday and Thursday, which I feel very thankful to be able to be a part of. Community volunteering is something I have wanted to do for a long time, and now suddenly – I am going to be doing it. I’ve known since I was 20, that community and volunteering work is needed as a way of giving to others, reaching out to others, showing compassion – which is a verb.

And also I have some hope, due to the possibility of joining a community of Christians who follow a different model of following Jesus, whilst enjoying being in community and fellowship with each other. A model far more suited to me and where I am at.

I know I need to move into this slowly, steadily and carefully and not expect too much. Whilst, also keeping an open mind and heart.

Continue reading