Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


For many, it is easier to defend poor behaviours/thinking, than to face the truth.

Many people throughout my life, have been quick to defend poor, unhealthy behaviours, than to face them with honesty.

I see it all around me. It is a default position for most people. The truth, is too hard to deal with. Especially about self. It hurts the ego, to hear truth. So most people avoid, deny, defend etc.

This is why cognitive distortions and lies, are so common. And little wisdom as a result.

And why those who peddle in thinking/views/behaviours, that support cognitively distorted thinking…. are popular. People flock to it, as is supports their own unhealthy thinking needs. Continue reading

I find it quite bizarre how so many people can believe Buddhism is about compassion.

There is an increasing belief in society, that Buddhism is all about compassion. I’ve studied it, and know how far from the truth that is. I am so thankful to have the capacity to have worked that out.

I was told by an ordained Buddhist monk, that I was abused so badly in childhood, because I “must have done something bad in a previous life, to deserve this bad karma”. So it was my own fault. In Buddhism there is no other explanation to child abuse.

If anyone believes ‘that’ is compassion, or even rational thinking, they are deluded.

This is absolute crap and emotional abuse, to suggest a child ‘deserves’ to be abused, because of a supposed past life, that no-one can even prove existed.

The ONLY reason I was abused, was absolutely nothing to do with me. It was about the deep issues and dark hearts of those who made choices to abuse me. I am not in ANY way responsible for it, and neither is any other abuse survivor.

Buddhism, is nothing more than victim blaming/shaming and not wanting people who do wrong, to take responsibility. It takes away the need for responsibility and the need to take any action against abusive people and people who do wrong, and it become a very convenient ‘easy way out’ to doing nothing. Very appealing to many, who don’t want to choose action and courage. And would rather avoid and be apathetic.

“I don’t have to do anything about an abuser, because karma will do it for me”. Really? Very convenient. Very lazy. Very irrational. And if that abusive person harms someone else, because I ignored dealing with, well… that is that victims karma. Wow.

Karma, is not even rational thinking. There is no rational basis to it. It is magical thinking. Continue reading

When self labelled ‘free thinkers’, are in fact hypocrites and limited.

There is such an ego fest in many people as to their beliefs about themselves. I see this continually in the new age guru followers and many religious people.

The ‘I’m a free thinker’ and ‘better’ than those who are not…… is interesting to me, when they in fact are hypocrites.

Free thinkers, of the new age following crowd, will often deny Christians their beliefs. Scoffing, even. And will not accept anyone who explains their view on beliefs/thinking that has no rational basis.

Free thinkers, don’t understand anything more than where they are at. Continue reading

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Takes courage to deal with cognitive distortions. New website info.

I realise the courage and self honesty it takes to acknowledge and deal with one’s own cognitively distorted thinking, is not common. Which is sad, because cognitive distortions, are very common.

Most people, I realise, will not be receptive to this info. But, for the those it will be embraced by, I am thankful if it helps.

If people are unwilling to embrace learning about cognitive distortions, I accept that and realise you can only help those willing to help themselves.

It is interesting how I pick up on highly experienced mental health professionals and clinicians, having distorted thinking Continue reading


Don’t make excuses for nasty people….

I don’t make excuses for intentionally and continually nasty people. I’m a realist and see past the excuse making and spin people can put on why some people are horrible human beings. I don’t rationalise their behaviours, to make my life easier. I call it as it is. Which is far more honest and dealing in reality.

Sure, people can all make mistakes, act out of character, do things wrong, sometimes. People are human, not perfect. But it how they deal with that, that matters to me. That’s the test of people’s character, heart and soul.

When these negative behaviours are frequent and the person is doing nothing to stop, has no remorse, and is harming people, that is never okay. And those who do try to rationalise this, choose to make excuses, are simply disordered in their own thinking and unwilling to deal with truth. Many will claim this is being non judgmental, which is again a rationalisation and a complete lack of empathy, for those being harmed.

And remember, those being harmed are not having a choice in what is happening to them and do not deserve it. The ones doing the harming – do have a choice. Most mental health issues, do not render people incapable of making better choices and do not render people incapable of stopping harmful behaviours. They simply choose not to change and refuse to have remorse, or a conscience, or empathy.  Continue reading

Current reading.. Eckhart Tolle and Idiocracy: The doctrine and impact of a “great spiritual master”


I love reading intelligent appraisals of ‘New Age’ doctrine and how cult-like it is. I see the New Age spirituality ‘masters’ and ‘gurus’ and I see straight through much of their motivations, egos and issues. I don’t believe they all intentionally harm others, they are just highly self deluded and delude others. It’s easily done. Sadly.

But, I was on a spiritual journey in my late 20’s and progressed through any new age lies (now with psychology understanding), so I just hope others do the same.

So much new age thinking/doctrine, is purely based on magical thinking Continue reading

The only way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.

avoid criticism

People who have a voice and use it for good, often attract criticism, put downs and negativity. Especially when it taps into the conscience of people, or it’s about unhealthy behaviours and attitudes/thinking.

Learning to ignore criticism from anyone not significant in my life and anyone who does not know me well, has been a part of my journey. Social media, in particular can be used for good, but also it promotes such unhealthy behaviours. People with issues and/or darkness within, become ‘oh so brave’ behind a keyboard.

I’ve learned to ignore most of this.

I’ve learned to understand there will be people who do not like someone; making an effort, speaking up, having much support from professionals etc. There will be those, who do not like hearing something that triggers their own pain, or they deem to be critical of their own thinking/views. I see all the many cognitive distortions and cognitive biases, people can have. I have compassion for this, but also manage reactions received. It doesn’t excuse abuse.

Being someone who speaks up – but in a compassionate and more balanced way, speaking up for those abused and harmed and the many wrongs humanity inflicts upon each other, speaking up for injustice and social justice, speaking up for the marginalised, the ignored, against victim blaming, against mental health being used as an ‘excuse’ to abuse etc…. will always attract unreasonable people responding – in unreasonable ways.

The fact remains, this is their issues. Not mine. Not ‘personalising’ their issues, has been a learning curve and one I am thankful to have faced.

I don’t lose sleep over the opinions of those with unhealthy, toxic, ignorant or self serving only views and opinions. Or those who follow along with unwise society issues.

I am very careful whom I seek advice. There are few people I choose to listen to, in particular advice and opinions, criticism and views. I realise the motivations of many, are not actually anything to do with other people’s needs, it is only their own. Continue reading

Supporting good people, often leads to abuse from toxic religious people. So be it.

It has been reported a gay priest has been booted out by the Vatican. Sure, they are meant to be celibate, but it is pretty clear where that toxic rule leads….. priests having sex and sadly also to abuse. (These are separate issues).

They keep paedophile priests in ministry, but not the gay ones. Wow.

It is interesting they are quick to boot out a priest for not remaining celibate and being gay…. but don’t boot out all the paedophile priests and those who protect and enable them. Continue reading


Rational thinking, self honesty and deep thought…. seems so hard for so many.

I’m a realist. I accept humanity finds self insight, self honesty hard, and cognitive distortions easy. It requires a lot less thought, a lot less honesty.

People justify their issues, views, no matter how irrational…. anyway they can.

It’s easier to hold on to irrational views…. than have the courage to face it and consider the irrationality. Harder to face the truth. In fact, most people don’t even think about whether their thinking is rational, or unhealthy. They automatically assume it is healthy.

I learned young how people can have very unhealthy thinking. I challenged my own. Courage, discernment, depth of thinking capacity are required for this.

‘Karma’ is one clear example of irrational thinking. I studied Buddhism in my later 20’s, and I knew then it was irrational to believe in karma, reincarnation etc. There is no rational thinking about karma. It is magical thinking. A cognitive distortion. I have the psychology understanding to put to what I worked out myself over 15 years ago. But, so many people believe it to be true.

Just because you want to believe something, does not make it true. Continue reading

People self soothe, self serve, with ‘theories’ about abusers.

I see clearly how people irrationally think or believe something, to self soothe, as a coping strategy, as a self serving need.

Clear example…. the theories for paedophilia. There is no cure for it. There are only theories about it’s causes. I’ve done my research.

Most paedophiles, have not been sexually abused. So people will theorise, it is some kind of abuse/neglect. But, that is all it is ….. a theory. There is no proven known cause. Nothing in neuroscience has identified a cause. Fact.

Why do people choose to believe theories? Like with most of humanity who choose to believe theories – there are a variety of reasons. In this case, it helps cope with the vile, disgusting facts of paedophilia. It rationalises why they have these thoughts/needs. Some like to believe theories, because they feel it makes them more compassionate (self serving). Some need to excuse/rationalise it, as the reality is too ‘vile’ to deal with (self soothing). Or both. Continue reading