Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Anger is necessary, as part of healing & grieving.

I wrote a blog yesterday, about how I am not defined by all the abusers have done to me, I am defined by my courage to survive it all, to overcome it all and be a good person.

I struggle to allow myself anger. I suppress it. And I feel a lot of confusion and fear, when I feel anger. Yet, I know anger is a very needed, appropriate and normal emotion, after abuse and trauma. Especially the severity of trauma I have endured.

This came up in counselling last week, were I tried to explain I know I have anger within me. And I can’t cope with it, so I just suppress it.

This week in counselling, While explaining this processing I have been doing, I tentatively said, the success of this blog, my website and all the amazing feedback I get – is kind of a big middle finger, to all those who harmed me.

I said this tentatively, because I am conflicted as to whether giving all the abusers the middle finger, is appropriate and okay. I realise I was apprehensive, as to whether my counsellor would feel this was wrong. Whether this would make me a ‘bad’ person.

Her response, was very encouraging of me writing about this anger I feel and indeed, putting a pic of a middle finger, to all those who harmed me, mistreated me, abused me and treated me as a worthless person. And how this is okay to do on my blog. Continue reading


Posters I have made, to help educate about complex trauma and child abuse.

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sad child

To suggest no parent ever intentionally abuses their child, is completely wrong, and offensive to intelligent people. People will apply all manner of cognitively distorted thinking to abuse – rationalising, minimizing, avoidance, excuses etc. None are rational, none are wise.

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Asked to facilitate the Twitter PTSD Chat. About loss, grieving and mourning.

Until now, I was unable to participate in the online PTSD Chat on Twitter, due to volunteering commitments. That has changed days, so now I am free.

I’ve been asked before to help facilitate it and today being my first free day to participate, it coincides with a day the chat facilitator felt emotionally unable to do it. So, she mentioned how that worked out well and asked me take over and facilitate. Which I did.

It was pretty full on and I had to try and make sure I was liking all comments, and I posted some info to maybe help some of those participating. It was a bit stressful due to how fast many people were posting, but I think I did okay.

It was good to see many comments and the different ways people cope and different strategies used. I posted comments to remind people everyone grieves loss in different ways, each journey is different, different things work for different people etc. Continue reading


Getting on with writing my contribution, for an authors book about narcissistic abuse.

I’ve been invited to contribute to a best selling authors book, and I feel so honoured. So, must get on with writing it.

Hopefully, it will be a worthwhile piece of writing, that will help others.

🙂


Beautiful walk this morning, with some lovely mature ladies.

I decided to join some ladies who walk around some really lovely lakes. I won’t go walking on my own, as it doesn’t feel safe, so to walk with other women, is great.

The sun was shining, the lakes glistening, wildlife and fauna stunning. So beautiful and I take notice of all that. I appreciate all the many beautiful things around me and focus on being mindful of it all. And have gratitude for it all.

The two ladies know each other and they were chatting, and their conversations were interesting and mature. I definitely relate more to people who are mature and/or older. One volunteers and was talking about a refugee family who had such an interesting life story and she found that interesting to listen to. She enjoys volunteering and meeting all different types of people. That was good to hear. The other lady is a nurse and she seemed mature and interesting too. So, I listened to them chatting, asked a few questions, didn’t say too much, but said enough to join in. They asked me a few questions too and seemed interested in hearing about me.

They are also planning to attend pilates once a week and let me know where, and the time would fit in with me if I wanted to join them. It’s at a time that doesn’t conflict with my children or husbands shifts.

They are nice ladies and invited me to message them about walking and pilates.

It was a truly lovely start to my day. Continue reading


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I see how talking about abusers with mental health professionals, can be harmful. And why ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Psychologists, counsellors, psychiatrists etc, all have to deal with any clients and any behaviours, in a respectful and what is considered ‘non judgmental’ way. And need to remove their emotions, to deal with worst of behaviours.

I see this can lead to a continual emotional disconnect from the reality of the harm highly abusive people cause to their victims. They choose to see the abuser/perpetrator, in a non emotional way, and that can transfer to how they speak about them, with the victims. Which is really insensitive and lacking in empathy for the victim of the abuse.

I’ve seen this happen in my own counselling. And I’ve raised it and pointed out the lack of empathy.

I watched a psychologist on a TV program about sex the other day and what is considered normal. One person being interviewed was a paedophile. And what he considers as absolutely appropriate sexual contact with a child as young as 7. (It made me nauseous listening to him). The psychologist spoke of her struggling to deal with him and his obvious deeply sick mind, and how that struggle was because she was out of her clinical environment. Inside a clinical environment – she could remove her emotions and deal with paedophiles in a manner considered appropriate. Outside of that, she struggled to contain her disgust. I could see it on her face. So inside her clinical environment, she wasn’t in fact acting like a normal human being would.

It made me realise, mental health professionals in their clinical environment, can remove emotions and deal with vile, disgusting people, in certain ways. Which is appropriate for that client. And they choose to see that as empathy for the abusive client.

But, this becomes a big issue for the victims, when this lack of emotion, and seeing vile, disgusting people, who have caused such profound and intentional harm, spoken of in a ‘clinical’ way, is also displayed to the victims. (Or they harp on about compassion for abusive people, which is even worse). Continue reading


I will validate the deep strength and resilience, I have developed in my life.

The first 20 years of my life, were hell on earth and I don’t minimize that anymore. And the next 20, were filled with trauma and abuse too. I’ve had to face the depths of it all, to process it, as part of my healing. And it has been trauma in itself, to face it all, fully. It takes a lot of courage.

I realise the depths of my resilience, in never giving in to using illegal drugs, not allowing alcohol to become an issue that impacted my capacity to work and provide for myself. I’ve never ended up in prostitution, or dancing in seedy clubs etc. And all these were handed to me on a plate, and I refused them all. That takes courage.

I’ve never ended up being hospitalised for mental health. Despite having PTSD and Complex PTSD and depression all my life. I’ve had the resilience to manage it enough to stay functioning. And all with no help from anyone, no family help. That takes deep courage.

I’ve got up every single day to look after my children. That takes courage.

I sought help when I knew I could no longer manage it on my own and before it became so impacting and avoided being hospitalised. That takes courage. Continue reading


I am informed, my work is still being routinely stolen, plagiarised.

I have been very aware of how many people – particularly those who run PTSD pages on social media – steal my work, steal my quotes, and pass them off as their own. It’s theft and a lack of honesty, but they justify it and act outraged if you let them what they are doing, or report them for it.

It’s been brought to my attention of several PTSD pages using my website work, my quotes and taking credit for them.

I see they do not have capacity to write their own work, to write their own quotes, so steal someone else’s and fail to link websites, remove the quote author name etc. I always link authors work, website addresses. I am a decent and honest human being. I instinctively know, stealing is not okay, in any form. I didn’t need to be told this, I could work this out myself and do what is right, decent. Continue reading