Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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So deeply sad to know, I would probably have been better off in foster care.

It is a sad state of grieving, to know I would have probably been less abused and less neglected, had I been put into foster care. Yes, the foster care system is not always positive and abuse and neglect does occur. It is also traumatising for children to be removed from their family. And that is so sad for everyone who endures this.

But, I also need to acknowledge, I probably would have been better off, if this had happened to me.

Being the survivor of complex trauma and every kind of abuse, including being sexually exploited by my mother and step father, for their paedophile and sex offender friends, I may very well have been better off in foster care.

My mother is a narcissist and has sociopath traits and my step father was a sociopath, so the levels of emotional, mental and psychological abuse, were profound, severe and continuing. Throughout my entire childhood. And knowing it is your own parents who caused such severe intentional abuse, is worse than anyone else doing it. It causes such deep wounds, to know your own parents wanted you to suffer and continually made you suffer.

I don’t have a pre-trauma identity. Severe ongoing complex trauma and abuse, was occurring from my earliest memories and no doubt prior to that. Continue reading


The rain makes the garden even more beautiful =)

I love how the garden and all the plants look after the rain. All the raindrops on the leaves and flowers.

I love all the different flowers, foliage and textures within my garden too. It’s fascinating 🙂

I’ve been playing with the macro feature on my camera too. Makes a difference to just taking snaps on my phone camera.

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Making a YouTube video for my website.

YouTube

I am continually tweaking my website, adding new info, updating.

Website @ http://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/

I’m wanting to add a YouTube video and will be creating that over the next week. I want to add quotes, pics and some nice relaxing music.

So, thinking about all I wish to add to it.

🙂


Thinking about all the acknowledgements for my book.

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When my book is written, I will be including a section of all the acknowledgments I will be making and how much gratitude I have.

The list, will be…

My counsellor/doctor

My husband

Pete Walker

Many other professionals who support my website/blog/social media

All the many survivors of complex trauma who support me and share their journey’s with me.

All the authors of books I have read and absorbed that have helped me learn all about complex trauma. Continue reading


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I choose a life free of chaos and avoiding unnecessary stress.

I realise all too well, you cannot heal within chaos and stress. So wherever possible, this needs to be removed from your life. It is a choice to be made and the only person who can choose this, is self.

People often rationalise putting themselves within chaos and unhealthy relationships/environments. Especially when this is someone’s ‘normal’. When raised within a childhood of fear, stress, chaos – it is your normal. But, it is does not need to stay that way. It is a still a choice – as to what you expose yourself to. Including people, situations, environments.

The only person that can ensure I lead a life of non chaos and more peace….. is me. So this is my choice. Continue reading


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Gardening is part of my healing journey :)

Gardening has many health benefits, including mental, spiritual and physical health. It is amazing for stress/anxiety management, mindfulness and creates joy.

For info on the health benefits – see @ http://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/#!great-for-stressanxiety-reduction/c1ycp

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My journey & message, are of HOPE. Because I am healing.

I do believe there is healing from complex trauma. It takes a massive amount of courage, dedication, effort and doing everything that is needed.

There are many complex layers, to healing complex trauma. I have been peeling away those layers, and tackling every one of them. Every wound. Every set of deep consequences of the wounds/abuse.

I have gone to counselling, at times dragging myself, at times truly wishing I could just give up instead.

But, I didn’t give up, I kept going. I still keep going.

I have devoted considerable time over the last 4 years, to researching and finding out everything I can about complex trauma. Read masses. Applied every tiny bit of my deep levels of resourcefulness, to finding out everything I need to know and do. And I knew I needed to find out from all the experts. I knew not to trust my own insight only, and to seek professional and wise advice. And I’ve learned so much and healed so much in the process.

I’ve had to be honest and face truly painful things done to me. I’ve had to be honest about Continue reading