What is considered maladaptive to some, is adaptive and needed, for others.

As a child, I always used daydreaming and pretending I was in another life to cope with the nightmare of the childhood I was stuck within. Now I am regularly daydreaming. Every day. People are nice to me, kind to me, and love me in my daydream world. Just like they did in my childhood daydreams.

When completely alone, with no love, no-one who cares, daydreaming can be a necessary coping need.

I don’t expect most people to understand. I realise it would be considered ‘maladaptive’ by some. That is ‘their’ opinion, based upon ‘their’ own lives/life experiences and ‘their’ own needs. Not mine.

Had my 2 serves of fruit today……. the slices of orange on my long island iced tea’s…

Had late lunch out with the family and had two long island iced teas…..

I had vowed not to drink anymore, but fuck it, anything that helps me cope.

At least I’ve had my two serve of fruit today….

You can take the girl out of the clubs…….. but you’ll never fully take the clubber, out of the girl.

I love dance, clubbing music.

It is in my soul and I will always love it.

I love all the Kris Menace remix’s of my favourite singer Lana Del Rey ~ who’s music represents most of my life.

Love this remix too.

I realise what a source of comfort my healing page is.

My Facebook healing page has only been down a few days while I take a little break, and I have already received numerous emails, asking where it is and expression of how much it helps people.

I need better self care and I have to balance that with the needs of others, and once I put the page back up, I will explain that. It will be good modelling of boundaries and self care too.

Life is so hard for many, and I know comfort found in others who understand, is much needed.

Pics from my gardens :)

My gardens ~ are part of my healing journey ~ in many aspects 🙂

My sense of humour can be very silly….. :) But it helps on days where I would like to cry…

Had a day where I would like to cry……. so choosing humour instead…. to cope….

The posts people comment with on social media comedy pages – are often funnier than the OP & make me giggle! 😀

I love my children and my husband…….but I crave being alone.

I am where I need to be and where I want to be…….but I crave being alone and need my alone time.

I increasingly crave being alone and I understand why. I feel overwhelmed with the intensity of the depth of processing I have about life, plus all the grieving and sadness I feel and the things I have to do in my life….all causing emotions I am unable to ignore or suppress.

Increasing understanding and acceptance of many issues, is painful and hard to deal with, and I need alone time, to cope.

Noise, activity, other people’s moods – overwhelm me due to my mind being so full of everything constantly swimming around, all fighting for attention to be thought about more and the emotions felt as a result.

I have learned I have to have balance, I am increasingly finding time to do quiet things like gardening, swimming alone, music, and just being by myself.

As Jung said…….there is no coming to consciousness without pain.

And being alone, is how I manage that pain.

Some humour that made me LOL today :)

The counselling centre I attend, send out a newsletter and a recent one stated having a sense of humour is needed to cope with life….

I’m not quite sure if my doctor/counsellor meant this kind of humour……….ahhh well……….it makes me smile!! 😀

Bahahhaha!!! This ^^ made me really laugh…so my (warped) sense of humour!!

Yeah……  ^^^^  WTF!!!

Good enough excuse ^^^ for me teehee!

More parenting humour! And some great advice I sought :)

My tween has hormones…….increasingly so. And it ain’t fun!

So, after seeking some wise advice from some lovely people who have far more experience and wisdom with teenagers than I do (I am always seeking other people’s wisdom)……I had some great advice…in response to some stuff my tween has been doing…

Normal… I just tell them, “that’s unfortunate” and don’t make solving their problem my problem when it comes to these kind of things. They have to enter to learn they can entertain themselves and if they are hungry enough, they will eat what is there. It helps to take a less emotional approach and not let it affect you on a personal level.

One of my favorite approaches is to give a big hug and say “awe, that sounds like a personal problem.” They didn’t like to hear it at first, but our job is to teach them to be independent thinkers, problem solvers, and doers step by step, so I remind them of that.

And humour……..you gotta have a sense of humour when parenting teenagers!!!

I do have a sense of humour about parenting and I need to up this to survive the teenager stage.. 🙂

I always joke that I have a pact with Jesus, that He will come back before my kids reach teenagers, you know so I don’t have to deal with the teenage hormones, because of course that’s all Jesus has to worry about…. lol! 😉

But, somehow I don’t think that is gonna happen… 🙂

Some posters that made me laugh today…

I am very thankful to be able to share in a way that truly helps people.

A few comments to my community page in the last few days, which show the posts and sharing, helps people to understand themselves better, helps educate people….which is needed in this journey. Otherwise we continue to be confused and don’t understand how to progress forward. I have learned a lot and share that, because it is needed info and validation for others.

“Your page is great, you provide a lot of encouragement to others, I hope you have people supporting you too.”

“You are a real inspiration and I hope that you are proud of the wonderful things you achieve with this page and your others. I have learnt a lot from your pages too. Now to get my family to read some of the things you post…

“Awesome read Lilly, and a reminder for me. I am tending to so many things. I do need to take more time and find a hobby or two.”

“BINGO!”

“And thank you for the support. It has help my situation in more ways than one.”

“I love all that you share, this has been a life line someday for me..keep all the great work you do going…🙂 “

“You and this group have helped me more than anything or anyone! Thank you!”

“It really is Lilly!! But you give me hope that one day I will have a voice and will be heard!! I started my inner child healing therapy with a counsellor two weeks ago thanks to your wisdom and experience…..first step – Boundaries. That will be a hard thing for some of my family to get their heads around, but I;m going to set safe ones for me whether they like it or not!”

My community page is @ https://www.facebook.com/HealingFromComplexTraumaAndPTSDAndCPTSD