Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I find it quite bizarre how so many people can believe Buddhism is about compassion.

There is an increasing belief in society, that Buddhism is all about compassion. I’ve studied it, and know how far from the truth that is. I am so thankful to have the capacity to have worked that out.

I was told by an ordained Buddhist monk, that I was abused so badly in childhood, because I “must have done something bad in a previous life, to deserve this bad karma”. So it was my own fault. In Buddhism there is no other explanation to child abuse.

If anyone believes ‘that’ is compassion, or even rational thinking, they are deluded.

This is absolute crap and emotional abuse, to suggest a child ‘deserves’ to be abused, because of a supposed past life, that no-one can even prove existed.

The ONLY reason I was abused, was absolutely nothing to do with me. It was about the deep issues and dark hearts of those who made choices to abuse me. I am not in ANY way responsible for it, and neither is any other abuse survivor.

Buddhism, is nothing more than victim blaming/shaming and not wanting people who do wrong, to take responsibility. It takes away the need for responsibility and the need to take any action against abusive people and people who do wrong, and it become a very convenient ‘easy way out’ to doing nothing. Very appealing to many, who don’t want to choose action and courage. And would rather avoid and be apathetic.

“I don’t have to do anything about an abuser, because karma will do it for me”. Really? Very convenient. Very lazy. Very irrational. And if that abusive person harms someone else, because I ignored dealing with, well… that is that victims karma. Wow.

Karma, is not even rational thinking. There is no rational basis to it. It is magical thinking. Continue reading


Delusional, grandiose statements, show people’s lack of capacity for deep thinking.

I was talking to my wise counsel, about this common issue people have saying to others ‘you are amazing, incredible, awesome’ and how I know this is not appropriate. No-one is these terms, no matter how much their delusions, want to believe it.

It was explained to me, this shows a mind not able to think deeply, unable to see clearly and with an honest and more insightful mind.

Using grandiose (non truthful) words, is popular and ego attractive. I also know it also shows no capacity for humility and I know to only seek advice, from people with the maturity to understand humility. 

A soul able to maintain humility,

is where wisdom is far more

likely to be found.

If anyone is going to compliment me (and I don’t ‘need’ compliments), I would much rather see a comment like this, I received from a mental health professional…it shows thought and is far more appropriate and speaks of specific strengths…but doesn’t give a delusional, grandiose view.

“Your courage in speaking out and your honesty and compassion are truly inspirational, Lilly. May your journey be short and your voice loud. Hugs and love back to you.”

Continue reading