Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


‘Unconditional love’ – is not wise at all. As per a Christian doctor/counsellor.

Good to discuss this today in counselling and it confirmed, this is indeed very unwise. BS, in fact. I’ve always known this and know this BS spouted about unconditional love, is often abused for harm.

There is a lot love does not tolerate, condone, or ignore.

People’s behaviour and motivations, matter.

Continually unhealthy, toxic, selfish, harmful behaviours – should not be tolerated. And people need to be accountable and responsible for their behaviours. Continue reading


Good to ask a professional.

I am thankful I can have conversations about human behaviour, with a professional. Especially one who has dealt with personality disordered people in her own personal life, as well as professionally. So understands the traits, well.

So good to explain all the witnessed behaviours, patterns etc of a person and then be able to ask ‘so is that typical aspergers behaviour, or narcissism behaviour?’ And be told it is narcissism, and not typical of aspergers, at all. I am not someone able to diagnose disorders, but I will take advice from someone who can.

It was also confirmed, that empathic people like me, will always be targeted by narcissistic personality disordered people. They sense empathic people and want them to become their ‘special’ friend, who they can emotionally consume and use. When you don’t fulfil their unhealthy demands, or you put in place healthy boundaries, they discard you and set about trying to split up friendships, called splitting.

Good to know this happens repeatedly to empathic people, simply because of their empathy. It has happened to my counsellor too.

Continue reading


Take note of those who are genuine.

I will pick up on those who only pay lip service, or are genuine in their encouragement of those who are growing and their personal achievements. I pick up on motivations. I had to learn young how to discern non genuine, non healthy motivations.

I am happy and thankful for people who are seeking to become better people, who are honest and genuine in their actions and thoughts, about self and others.

genuine


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Discernment.

discernment-300x300

“Discernment means to separate, distinguish to determine and sort out…

Discernment is sifting through our inner and outer experiences to determine their origin – whether they are the voice of our ego or the Spirit.”

~ Diane Millis

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Discernment is the skill of understanding and applying God’s Word with the purpose of separating

truth from error and right from wrong.

~ Tim Challis

Continue reading


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“The woman who made us think” Surprising words in counselling today.

There is a lot I could write about my counselling session today. So much confirmation of my deeper capacity to think, discernment, ability to process human behaviours, empathy capacity and how all that helps professionals, including my counsellor, be better at their jobs.

I could write tonnes about this. But, this in particular was pretty significant. My counsellor stated maybe my title for my book could be ‘the woman who made us think’. And it was said in a genuine way. The ‘us’ referring to mental health professionals/clinicians, as well as others.

I do realise, this is my ‘thing’ – helping people to think. Thinking deeply, having lived experience turned into wisdom Continue reading


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Lessons about who you support on social media.

social-media-boundaries

Last year, I was supporting a person who claimed to be a survivor of paedophile abuse. I had connected with this person on Twitter and blogged about this person and shared many posts. Those blog posts have now been deleted.

More recently, it has come to light this person may in fact be a paedophile. And there are many on Twitter, sharing info that is deeply concerning.

And I am aware of the lengths paedophiles will go to, to access vulnerable people. I am aware of the depths of manipulation they go to, to groom people and how they can very successful and how driven they are at this. It was odd to me, this person used to tweet to known paedophiles, albeit to apparently let them know, he was ‘on to’ them. I don’t know if any of the accusations are correct, but it is enough info, to make me know to stay well away.

This person, plus all those involved in the continual bickering and abusive posting continually going on based in the UK, have all been blocked from my Twitter. I have better boundaries now, than to be involved.

It has made me think about what I post and to be very wary of posting and sharing social media posts, about individual people, who I do not know. And therefore, do not have any real awareness of who they really are. Continue reading


Thankful for the support I receive, challenging popular and unwise thinking.

I am aware of the support I receive, including mental health professionals. And truly thankful. It helps me know I am on the right track. Which is important in a world, where so much bad advice is being given, that leads to more harm.

To have recognition and support from many mental health professionals, does make a difference. Especially when the support is offered for the posts I write that challenge the mass thinking society seems to follow along with.

It takes courage and integrity to challenge mass thinking. But, I do. Because I see the harm, the deeper issues and the bigger picture.

My integrity means I cannot agree with, condone or encourage unhealthy and harmful views and opinions.

So, I walk a walk in the opposite direction of many, and that’s okay.

People with integrity, depth of thought, empathy, often do. Continue reading


The only way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.

avoid criticism

People who have a voice and use it for good, often attract criticism, put downs and negativity. Especially when it taps into the conscience of people, or it’s about unhealthy behaviours and attitudes/thinking.

Learning to ignore criticism from anyone not significant in my life and anyone who does not know me well, has been a part of my journey. Social media, in particular can be used for good, but also it promotes such unhealthy behaviours. People with issues and/or darkness within, become ‘oh so brave’ behind a keyboard.

I’ve learned to ignore most of this.

I’ve learned to understand there will be people who do not like someone; making an effort, speaking up, having much support from professionals etc. There will be those, who do not like hearing something that triggers their own pain, or they deem to be critical of their own thinking/views. I see all the many cognitive distortions and cognitive biases, people can have. I have compassion for this, but also manage reactions received. It doesn’t excuse abuse.

Being someone who speaks up – but in a compassionate and more balanced way, speaking up for those abused and harmed and the many wrongs humanity inflicts upon each other, speaking up for injustice and social justice, speaking up for the marginalised, the ignored, against victim blaming, against mental health being used as an ‘excuse’ to abuse etc…. will always attract unreasonable people responding – in unreasonable ways.

The fact remains, this is their issues. Not mine. Not ‘personalising’ their issues, has been a learning curve and one I am thankful to have faced.

I don’t lose sleep over the opinions of those with unhealthy, toxic, ignorant or self serving only views and opinions. Or those who follow along with unwise society issues.

I am very careful whom I seek advice. There are few people I choose to listen to, in particular advice and opinions, criticism and views. I realise the motivations of many, are not actually anything to do with other people’s needs, it is only their own. Continue reading


Snoopy Wisdom :)

Thanks Snoopy! Lovin’ the wisdom. Sometimes, it is needed to ignore, sometimes it is needed to act and respond.

Knowing when to act, is also wisdom. But, unless the people are significant in your life, most need to be ignored. Consider the source, consider their motivations, consider their patterns. Then decide if they should just simply be ignored.

snoopy wisdom