Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

My old and trusty friend ‘numbed out mild dissociation’, always helps when overwhelmed.

I can tell I am numbed out, and I know to manage that.

When overwhelmed, and alone, I’ve always had the capacity to zone out and praise God for that.

It can be a very effective coping need.

I am listening to music, which always helps to zone out. I’ve done this¬†since being a teenager.

I can still fully function, just with a lack of emotions.

And I don’t choose it, it just happens when overwhelmed and unable to cope with what is going on.

I am thankful for it.


Numbed out. Robot mode.

Another realisation hit earlier….and my old and trusty friend dissociation comes to keep me safe, when the depth of the pain threatens to be far more than I can handle.

Sometimes I wonder when I will ever finish peeling through the layers of harm, revealing further and deeper levels of devastation people have caused me through my life.

Each and every realisation, comes with searing pain, and cruel emotional suffering.

Every time I wonder how much more I can possibly endure.

Intense pain earlier.

Numb now.