Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


I love Australia for many reasons, but I don’t love….

I was born here in this beautiful country of Australia. I love the weather, the outdoor lifestyle, the beauty of the land, and many other wonderful Australian delights.

What I do not love are the all too often overt prejudices (racism, homophobia, misogyny etc), I see flaunted continually. I do not like what is behind this – lack of empathy, lack of conscience, lack of compassion, narcissism, entitlement and really shallow thought processes.

I do not like the cruelty Australia is enabling to asylum seekers.

I do not like the deeply widespread issues of domestic violence and child abuse.

I do not like the so called Christians promoting/enabling/encouraging all this.

Australia is really stuck in a time warp. And I don’t have to like any of this, or ignore it, or avoid it. I’m not selfish and I don’t believe in apathy. I have too much integrity, empathy and courage for that. Continue reading


Still receiving many emails. People sharing their journeys, resonating with mine.

 Two arms reaching together with sun.

Despite shutting down my Facebook page many months ago and taking an extended break from Twitter etc, I am still receiving many emails from people sharing their journeys and thanking me for my inspiring journey.

I am aware what an honour and blessing it is for so many people to contact me and feel I am someone they can share with. I am thankful my honest and raw writing and sharing, resonates with many.

My blog and website still have 100’s of views per day, and I see my posts, quotes and writing are still being shared continually. I realise this means my work continues to help people, even though I do far less now on social media.

I am thankful I can have better balance in my life, yet still be helping people. Still reaching people. Still giving some people hope.

I care about people who have suffered. Continue reading


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My ‘anti-victim blaming/shaming’ & ‘anti-mental illness shaming/stigma’ messages… are getting out there.

I know my life, my capacity to think deeply, my deep awareness of what feels wrong…. enables me to sense and consider matters to a deeper level than many. Deeper than even within some in the mental health industry/advocacy field. As had been shown over the last few weeks within interactions.

I realise it is only through my own suffering, my own severe trauma history that I have this capacity. I am never going to say abuse is a gift – it isn’t – as abuse is something no-one should ever endure and is never deserved/needed.

But, I see deeper life experiences can sometimes create a deeper sense of life wisdom and thought process. A deeper sense of empathy and authenticity to the realities of life. And to use that to help others, is my passion.

Complex trauma survivors, who despite all the abuse are good people and don’t hurt others, have suffered enough.

I’m glad through my posts, the message I have about ‘shaming’ people who have already suffered greatly… that I see clearly is perpetuated within society overall…. is being heard by some people. Continue reading


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Egocentric, ‘all about me’, apathy attitudes everywhere.

I met up with a new friend the other day, for a play date with her daughter and my son, who are in grade one class at school.

This woman comes along to the food bank I volunteer at and takes 2 boxes (which is only meant to happen for large families and she only has 2 young children). And she is one of those people who has money to buy other luxuries in life, but ‘takes’ from a food bank to get really cheap food. That bothers me, but I realise sadly many people ‘abuse’ charities and the good work volunteers do, for their own selfish needs. I realise there are a % of people who do this, ‘taking’….. but I try to focus on the genuine people in need.

During a conversation, she spoke about how she doesn’t watch the news and ‘doesn’t care’ about other people’s problems, she has enough of her own. (Don’t we all). She doesn’t want to see horrible stories about what happens to people.

She displayed the common attitude of avoiding and apathy, that sadly society promotes… that has no level of empathy, no compassion for others, and no awareness of life outside of own egocentric circle. Continue reading


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Good tears …. being emotionally moved at seeing such beauty and light, in some people.

I follow a community project on Facebook, with volunteers who collect donations for the homeless in my local area. I’ve been purchasing items and collecting for donations, and see all the donations from others. It’s wonderful to see compassion in action.

A post today was a picture of a pile of hand-knitted beanies, someone had knitted for homeless people. The message with the picture stated a 93 year old lady had knitted and donated them, and she also volunteers at the hospital every week too.

93 years old! This is humanity at it’s best. Caring, compassion, effort, volunteering, giving, and not even letting age get in the way.

This made me cry, because I want so much for humanity generally to be like this. They were good tears, of seeing compassion at work and such beautiful heart and soul, giving back to the community and helping those in need, at the age of 93.

Just so beautiful. I wish I had the honour of knowing this lady.

These are the types of people I want in my life. Those who inspire me to do more. Those who remind me of the goodness some people have. Those who have the virtues and souls, I crave to be around. Those who encourage and inspire me to be a better person. Those who are fine examples of humanity, at it’s best. Continue reading


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Thankful to be able to teach my children empathy, honesty, self worth, responsibility & resilience.

I hold the understanding of all of the consequences of my life/journey and all I have been through.

I hold the capacity to see all the harm, destruction, hurt, pain, suffering and I don’t deny, minimize or invalidate that anymore.

I also have the capacity to see the gifts that have come, in spite of all the abuse.

One of the biggest, is my capacity to teach my children empathy and compassion for others. I talk with my children about how to treat others, how to put themselves into the lives of other people and see it from their point of view and how they feel. How to have compassion for those who have less and to want to help them. How to be a decent human being. How to be honest and take responsibility for their actions. And much more. And I see how this is helping them to grow empathy, responsibility, honesty and compassion. I see their capacity for compassion to others.

I also teach my children self worth and resilience. Continue reading


We don’t have to be ‘so strong’ all the time, or ‘warrior survivors’. It’s an unreasonable demand/expectation.

it's okay not to be okay

Being real and honest, is important to me. Victims of abuse being treated appropriately, is important to me.

The fact that we are broken and are trying to heal, is enough. We are enough.

This unreasonable demand that people who have already endured so much suffering and trauma…. should be ‘so strong’ and ‘warrior survivors’ and be ‘constantly recovering’ & quickly – is an unnecessary, inappropriate and unreasonable demand.

Society demands we are these expectations/demands. Family and friends can demand it too. The mental health profession often demand it, as per their ‘highest functioning’ based policies.

It’s so harmful. It needs to stop and empathy and compassion prevail.

People need to take all the time they need to heal, with no agenda’s and demands placed upon them. Continue reading


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My post to my page today, about what I always try to keep in mind when writing…


I don’t base my work, on those who have the ‘best case scenario’ – which is having moderately impacting symptoms/trauma, quality therapy and good support and a loving family.

Why?

Because that is not the reality for many. Many don’t have access to quality therapy. Many don’t have people in their lives who understand and are supportive. Many don’t have family who care.

I base my work, on the most challenging situations, the ones where most suffering is occurring. Because, I have empathy and compassion for people enduring such hardship and doing it alone.

I don’t base my work on my own situation, because I know there are people out there suffering more than I am, and my heart hurts for those people.

Sadly, many don’t view it this way and hurt people in the process.

Mental health policy, mental health advocacy, helping people who have experienced trauma, should be based on what can be the worst situations, so those people suffering that much, feel compassion, feel they are cared for, they are understood, feel empathy from others. Continue reading


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Found ‘To Write Love On Her Arms’ kindled the book ‘If You Feel Too Much’ – Amazing!

I love when I come across empathic and compassionate people…….. it gives me hope.

The non profit organisation ‘To Write Love On Her Arms’ – is amazing and I am so thankful for all they do and to have found them. http://twloha.com/

Jamie Tworkowski – the founder – has written and published a book I have kindled ‘If You Feel Too Much’ and it is really interesting, and full of compassion and empathy for those struggling, suffering. Yet gives gentle hope, in a non demanding way, where people’s struggles are accepted and understood.

This is from the book – and I love it!

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