Craft room tidied, and that’s good.

Anything I achieve these days, I need to feel okay with. My craft room has been a mess for a long time, with me doing very little, as a result.

It is much tidier now, and once my 6 year old is in bed, I’m going to go downstairs and use it.

I intend focussing on simple stuff, not feeling like I have to produce elaborate creations, and hold myself up to those continually high expectations/demands of myself – I have had issues with in my life. The ‘never being good enough’ issues and perfectionism issues.

I intent working on all that and being okay with ‘good enough’.

Now, as well as being able to use it myself, if I want to invite crafty friends over to use it and share it with them, I can.

Feels good to make some connections with other mums, and just be a ‘mum’.

Due to so much anxiety, depression and dealing with trauma, I haven’t made any effort to connect with other parents of children in my 6 year olds class. I’ve had a few conversations, but nothing more and I’ve not been in a place where I can consider getting together and becoming connected, or form school mum friendships.

I’ve been too busy trying to stay alive and deal with severe trauma and severe grieving. Which considering how social I used to be, shows how severely this last 3 years has affected me.

Today, I went to my 6 year old son’s friend’s Birthday party and sat chatting and laughing with two parents, one of whom is the mum of my son’s best friend.

It was really nice and even though I had anxiety and could feel myself doing my usual ‘being funny’ and talking a lot – anxiety behaviours – they didn’t mind, because they were really chatty too.