Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Rose coloured glasses – is not reality, honesty, or truth. It is cognitively distorted thinking.

Seeing life, people etc – through rose coloured glasses, is popular. I get it. It helps people avoid reality. And reality is often not pretty. Those rose coloured glasses – make it seem prettier.

It is a form of ‘rationalising’ and a distorted mindset, that prefers to avoid reality. Which then sadly, leads to further issues, that the non deeply thinking mind, does not wish to see.

Rose coloured glasses wearing, is a choice to ‘filter out’ what may be unpleasant.

It is how some people cope with life, but is not ever about truth and reality. Makes life nicer, but avoids reality, which is far harder to deal with and takes far more courage. Continue reading

Trust no-one.

I don’t know the point in asking people you already know you can’t trust, for the truth. There is no point. It’s simply provoking more lies and dishonesty, you know is coming. It’s like an act of self harm.

I think the truly bizarre part, is me expecting anything from anyone. When my life has repeatedly shown me people lie, cover their arses and do what is best for themselves, at the expense of others. And when they have actually stated that is what they believe everyone will do when the shit hits the fan, why would I even assume they are to be trusted. Continue reading

Integrity… a path only the courageous take. It is a rare virtue.

Integrity, in the face of adversity, is a courageous path. And a path few are on. So, it can feel lonely. But, for those who choose honesty, empathy and integrity and a life of learning/growth, it is a choice that has to be made.

I see clearly more and more, how the ‘Road Less Travelled’ – is one few take, because it requires courage and deep honesty. Including about self. It’s easier to follow the crowd, in the wrong direction.

Integrity, combined with honesty and discernment, are rare. As has been explained to me and I see so clearly.


Integrity3 Continue reading

There is no humility, without honesty about self.

I see big egos everywhere. Egos are not humility and therefore, are not wise.

If a person has little self insight, little capacity to be honest about self, little self awareness, then I will see a lack of wisdom, a lack of humility.

Humble people know their own issues and everyone has them. But knowing them and being honest about them, is not common. Continue reading

I don’t care who apologises first… just apologise. And mean it.

I’ve always been someone who can apologise for anything I do that is wrong, inappropriate. I don’t consider giving an apology based upon the actions of others if they have also done wrong. Or whether they should apologise first.

I just do what I know I need to do, regardless of the actions of others.

This belief/quote that “The first to apologise is the bravest, the first to forgive is the…..” blah blah blah…. is BS. That’s just raising up ego and having a need to be ‘better’.

If you apologise first, great. If the other person apologises first, great. It’s not a competition. The only need, is that both apologise. And it be genuine. With appropriate remorse. With honesty. And the heart wanting to put it right. And if the other person doesn’t, or gives a fake Continue reading


Sometimes, I wonder if I just simply expect too much…

expect too much

Sometimes I wonder if I expect others who are important in my life, to have the same standards I set myself. To think with the same depth as myself and to be honest. I do allow people to mess up and I do forgive them. I know I mess up too. But I struggle with it being repeated harm, in particular dishonesty, lies etc.

But, I have also worked really hard on not being someone who has toxic people in my life, as has happened already so much throughout my life. I know that not allowing myself to be mistreated now, is my responsibility. I know I’ve ignored so many red flags repeatedly in the past and stayed within relationships and situations far longer than was healthy. And with really harmful results. Continue reading


Thankful to be able to teach my children empathy, honesty, self worth, responsibility & resilience.

I hold the understanding of all of the consequences of my life/journey and all I have been through.

I hold the capacity to see all the harm, destruction, hurt, pain, suffering and I don’t deny, minimize or invalidate that anymore.

I also have the capacity to see the gifts that have come, in spite of all the abuse.

One of the biggest, is my capacity to teach my children empathy and compassion for others. I talk with my children about how to treat others, how to put themselves into the lives of other people and see it from their point of view and how they feel. How to have compassion for those who have less and to want to help them. How to be a decent human being. How to be honest and take responsibility for their actions. And much more. And I see how this is helping them to grow empathy, responsibility, honesty and compassion. I see their capacity for compassion to others.

I also teach my children self worth and resilience. Continue reading

I am not society’s shallow concept of a ‘healing success story’.

Unless you are an abuse survivor who is continually positive, continually looking at the bright side and telling everyone how well you are doing and how strong you are…….. you are written off as weak, acting like a victim and a failure.

Society demands success, demands positivity, demands outer strength, even at the expense of lying and denying the truth. By society’s standards, and many other survivors, I am a failure.

I am honest, genuine and speak exactly what this journey can be like for many. There are many profound reasons why this journey is not an escalator ride up, is not about being positive and how to assume it should be, is unhealthy and wrong. Survivors are shamed in this way all the time.

Society raises ‘success stories’ up all the time, to show you what you ‘should’ be doing. Other survivors who claim to be healed – parade their stories as a success and an inspiration, telling others this is what they should be doing. They don’t stop and realise that may be their idea of inspiration, but their journey is different and should ‘not’ be compared, because there are countless reasons that affect healing journey’s.

Does the fact that I am not a ‘success story’ in society’s terms of success, make me failure? Weak?

Continue reading