Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


More to Einstein, than I realised.

I don’t watch much TV, but the little I watch, are programs I can learn from. Programs about things that matter that I don’t know much about, biography type programs – as I like to learn about interesting people.

I watched a program today about Einstein. I didn’t know he was into activism for peace. Or many other things about his life. I find him fascinating due to his intelligence, but also his human-ness. He had an emotional depth – an uncommon combination in such extraordinary high IQ people.

I’m reading through ‘The World As I See It’ – Albert Einstein. It’s a challenge, as it is mostly about things I know nothing about. But, the needed human-ness of empathy, thoughtfulness and discernment about humanity – I cherish in people, is there and I see that. Continue reading

The ego, is a pesky critter, that prevents learning, growth, maturity.

I see so clearly how many people are unteachable and have egos that need to be protected at all costs. They cannot face being ‘wrong’ and as such do not learn, grow or mature, until they face this issue.

Most adults think they know it all and whatever they are thinking, however they are behaving, must be okay. Little self reflection, little self honesty, little humility.

And this is why I feel like I am often with children/teenagers, in adult bodies. And that ego state, continues on, throughout adulthood for many people. I also see a lot of hurt inner children, walking around in adult bodies. Acting in bizarre ways, that reflect their inner pain, they often then project onto others. Continue reading

There is no humility, without honesty about self.

I see big egos everywhere. Egos are not humility and therefore, are not wise.

If a person has little self insight, little capacity to be honest about self, little self awareness, then I will see a lack of wisdom, a lack of humility.

Humble people know their own issues and everyone has them. But knowing them and being honest about them, is not common. Continue reading

I am becoming the person I am meant to be.

I believe in transformation, ‘becoming’.

Becoming wiser, more mature, working on growth and healing and that taking time.

I am becoming who God wants me to be, not what people demand I should be.

I know this is ongoing transforming, this becoming will continue all my life.

We are never wise enough. We never know enough. We are not God.


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There is nothing more special to me than….

There is nothing more special to me, than someone with such self honesty.

It is so refreshing, and rare.

I truly cherish people who have the capacity to be honest, without making excuses or justifying, but understands they have things they need to work on, how we all mess up, and how we all need to continue to grow ❤

We are not meant to feel we need to be perfect ….. but having honesty, insight, and the willingness to listen and grow, are about maturity and humility and the signs of someone who will heal and move along the healing road…

And it warms my heart, to see this in people ❤ 

Absolute honesty, about how 2 years ago, I was spreading an irresponsible message, about PTSD.

This is my post to my page today……. and it is my hope it will inspire people to not only know there is healing that can be attained, but also that being honest about self, is needed.

I have the capacity to be very honest about myself, and own it when I fuck up and I will be very honest and up front about it.

Takes courage and humility, and I hope to show how this is needed.

I used to send a dangerous, irresponsible message about PTSD ~ as I see others are doing….

People who claim healing and recovering from severe PTSD, is not possible ……. send a terrible, irresponsible and incorrect message.

All they are doing is projecting their own stage of their journey ….. not looking at where others are at.

And they are hoping everyone else will agree….. to validate where they are at.

This is a dangerous message, and should not be a message anyone is spreading, at all.

PTSD is not completely curable ……

BUT …… it can be managed better over time and the symptoms reduced, and there is healing possible over time ……

With the right knowledge, the persistence to do all the coping strategies, and the desire to heal ……. and the willingness to actually do all this.

And the reason I know these dangerous messages are wrong, is because this is where I was at 2 years ago….

And 2 years ago …… ‘I’ was sending a terrible, irresponsible and incorrect message, which I actually deeply regret.

Only now ….. am I actually in a healthy enough position, to be a positive voice about PTSD.

Well this post was well received by most people, but there were a few page admins who were very pissed off that I wrote this.

And that led to poor behaviours, accusations, and needing to be banning of people on my page.


It is very clear that the more healthy I become, the more shit I get from unhealthy people.

It is also amazing that whenever I write these very honest posts, about where I have screwed up…….. other people can take them really badly and react really badly….

And I know why. It’s because they only want their dysfunction validated….. and anything that takes people to close to the truth about self……. causes them to act very badly. All narcissism.

But, the main thing is…….. most people really appreciated it and MH professionals were liking the post and agreeing and ‘that’ matters far more.

People find it easier to talk about other people’s issues, but don’t want to see their own…

It is true that people can find fault in others, whilst being completely in denial of their own.

It takes maturity and a willing heart, to not just focus on everyone else’s issues, but to look within and see our own, as I have over the last 12 months, in particular.

I have noticed, that some people who talk about narcissism, only refer to other people…..not looking within….and yet that is exactly what a narcissist does.


Dysfunction breeds dysfunction………and narcs will point fingers at others…. parents…. spouses…. family… friends etc….without ever stopping to consider whether they themselves do in fact have narc traits too.

And watch them blow if you ask them to consider if their own views are in fact narcissistic! The narcissistic rage/injury comes right out!

It takes a great deal of courage and lack of ego, to look within, and the humility and vulnerability to do this.

I have blogged about my own issues, how I have changed, the issues I clung onto and now see where this was my own issues, and wanted to change, with a willing heart to do this. I have blogged about how I have felt really hurt by something that someone has said about me, that in fact turned out to be correct. And I have owned this, blogged about this, been honest about this and grown from this. I don’t only focus on the issues of others.

But, a narcissistic, egotistic heart won’t look within. Often driven by fear and shame, as I see so clearly occurring everywhere.

You cannot reason with dysfunction that is hell bent on clinging onto their dysfunction. And of course, everyone else is wrong, stupid, narcissistic for having a completely different view and how dare you voice that!!

You can only give an alternative view, and hope someone reads it and will think more deeply about it.


Delusional, grandiose statements, show people’s lack of capacity for deep thinking.

I was talking to my wise counsel, about this common issue people have saying to others ‘you are amazing, incredible, awesome’ and how I know this is not appropriate. No-one is these terms, no matter how much their delusions, want to believe it.

It was explained to me, this shows a mind not able to think deeply, unable to see clearly and with an honest and more insightful mind.

Using grandiose (non truthful) words, is popular and ego attractive. I also know it also shows no capacity for humility and I know to only seek advice, from people with the maturity to understand humility. 

A soul able to maintain humility,

is where wisdom is far more

likely to be found.

If anyone is going to compliment me (and I don’t ‘need’ compliments), I would much rather see a comment like this, I received from a mental health professional…it shows thought and is far more appropriate and speaks of specific strengths…but doesn’t give a delusional, grandiose view.

“Your courage in speaking out and your honesty and compassion are truly inspirational, Lilly. May your journey be short and your voice loud. Hugs and love back to you.”

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