Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Living an authentic life with integrity to your values and beliefs, is interesting.

This week has been an interesting week. Emotionally draining for several reasons, all valid.

It’s also been a week, of seeing how different I am to many around me.

My social media has been flooded with Halloween and Melbourne Cup (horse racing) posts. I don’t celebrate either.

I have made choices to not indulge in horse racing, because I know the horses are treated badly (I’ve watched the documentaries and I see them being whipped). I don’t believe in horses being treated the way they are, for human pleasure, when it is not a requirement to live well. I also do not believe gambling is healthy, and I don’t wish to participate in that, or support the gambling industry. And I actually don’t understand how people can claim to be animal lovers, and indulge in horse racing. Continue reading

Integrity… a path only the courageous take. It is a rare virtue.

Integrity, in the face of adversity, is a courageous path. And a path few are on. So, it can feel lonely. But, for those who choose honesty, empathy and integrity and a life of learning/growth, it is a choice that has to be made.

I see clearly more and more, how the ‘Road Less Travelled’ – is one few take, because it requires courage and deep honesty. Including about self. It’s easier to follow the crowd, in the wrong direction.

Integrity, combined with honesty and discernment, are rare. As has been explained to me and I see so clearly.


Integrity3 Continue reading

Thankful for the support I receive, challenging popular and unwise thinking.

I am aware of the support I receive, including mental health professionals. And truly thankful. It helps me know I am on the right track. Which is important in a world, where so much bad advice is being given, that leads to more harm.

To have recognition and support from many mental health professionals, does make a difference. Especially when the support is offered for the posts I write that challenge the mass thinking society seems to follow along with.

It takes courage and integrity to challenge mass thinking. But, I do. Because I see the harm, the deeper issues and the bigger picture.

My integrity means I cannot agree with, condone or encourage unhealthy and harmful views and opinions.

So, I walk a walk in the opposite direction of many, and that’s okay.

People with integrity, depth of thought, empathy, often do. Continue reading

Love people with integrity to decent virtues, good character and compassion.


Sadly where I live, racism and homophobia are commonly and overtly displayed, by too many people. It never fails to shock me. Their lack of insight into their views and how distorted they are, is the saddest part. And how people can be so cruel, so willing to hurt others. And hurt people who are not by default ‘bad’ ‘unworthy’ – just because they are gay, non white, a different religion, are asylum seekers …. etc.

There is a sense of entitlement pervading many in Australia, that just because someone is born in a safe country, they ‘deserve’ to be there and others don’t. And that sense of entitlement, is narcissism.

I was born in Australia, and I don’t believe I deserve to be here and receive all Australia’s privileges, more than asylum seekers who are fleeing war torn/unsafe countries.

But then I am not narcissistic. I see people as human beings. I see their children and all their trauma and my heart hurts for them. Continue reading

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Most people don’t have the courage to have integrity to be honest, all the time.


Honesty, and the capacity to be honest all the time, even under difficult situations, and situations where in the wrong, are not common.

Honesty is a virtue I truly treasure in people, because it is necessary, to be able to trust someone.

If you know someone lies, or distorts the truth, or gaslights, or fails to take ownership of their issues, wrongs……. then you can’t trust them. It is as simple as that.

All those covert behaviours – lying, lying by omission, telling half truths, gas lighting, manipulating the truth, failing to take ownership…. are narcissism, and I will spot these behaviours in people.

And I actually wish I didn’t spot this all the time. Because I see them often and it leads to a lack of trust and an awareness, this person is selfishly self motivated, and lacks the capacity for integrity and honesty.

It takes courage and the willingness to put someone’s else’s needs first, and inner strength, to be a really honest person.

And I know that the capacity for integrity to honesty, also creates negativity from others in their responses, as they do not want to deal in truth and reality.

I think it is really sad, that this quote, is true.

Continue reading

Today I am going to honour ALL I have achieved and succeeded in……

Over the last 2 and half years, I have worked so hard on my healing.

Having severe Complex PTSD, as well as severe PTSD, Suicide Ideation and severe Depression……and so many severe trauma to process, trauma that started from birth….is not an easy journey.

In fact, it is fucking horrendous!

Having endured…..

Highly abusive sociopathic parents – who set me up to be abused…….

A paedophile who groomed, abused and raped me for years…….

A sadistic sexual psychopath who horrifically abused me for years and went to prison……

An alcoholic gambling addict and abusive first husband…….

An attack with a knife at my throat in a park……

And whilst trying to deal with a breakdown within the last 3 years – also spiritually abused and groomed by a church minister and treated badly by the entire church and endured a corrupt investigation …….

And basically having endured every type of abuse possible in my life….to a really severe level……

I have dealt with a lot.

A fucking massive amount!!!! 

And I have done really fucking well in my healing journey, so far 🙂

Whilst also setting up a Community for others….

Reaching out to & helping 1,000’s of people….

Writing an award winning Blog……..

Creating and authoring a highly respected Website…..

Helping many people.

And making the conscious decision to want to learn from every single minute of it all.

And educate myself in so much trauma and abuse related research and info.

And being willing to listen to what I need to change and be willing to take that inner journey, that demands huge courage and vulnerability……and admit all my own shit too……a process I am still in.

Today…..I’m going to feel content with myself,

and acknowledge my deep reserves of courage,

inner strength, integrity to honesty,

empathy for others, compassion for others

and sheer fucking determination, to heal.

Today, I acknowledge all I have achieved and succeeded in.

Today, I am going to allow myself a big fat

‘ You fucking rock girl’!!!!

Whilst also thanking Jesus.. !!!

Because He was there through every second of all this and He is responsible for getting me through all this……..whilst acknowledging I had to be have the willingness and the heart to heal and endure it all….and help others in the process.