I have no idea what it is like to have this type of love ^^. Real and genuine love from parents. Or anyone.
I didn’t have that in my childhood, I had the opposite.
I accept, as a result, I absolutely do know harm and abuse and all the red flags for that and all the deeply painful consequences…..but I do not know what it feels like to be loved in a genuine, others centred, cherished way.
I accept I never will. I have always sought out people who will harm me, with their selfishness, their ego’s, their narcissism etc.
I didn’t know until recently, this is what was happening or why, and this still does not in any way take the responsibility of those who harmed me, away from them. They made choices to harm me, regardless of what I was doing. It also doesn’t minimize the effects of all their abuse and it is too late to go back and do my life differently.
Hindsight, is painful, cruel, when you have lived a life, like mine.
I accept healthy relationships are not ‘my thing’…..because I’ve never had any.