Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

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Dishonest people, lacking in courage, minimize their own wrongs.

People who lack the courage for integrity to honesty, will often either deny own wrongdoing, or minimize them. It’s how they cope. It takes a really honest person to fully admit wrongdoing, especially when it’s hurt someone.

This happened today. Someone minimized something hurtful. Minimized ‘laughing at someone’ (to the point of needing tissues due to ‘crying with laughter’)…….down to ‘smiling’. Instead of just owning the full behaviour, owning the hurt caused to someone, minimized it to something far more minor. And that is always how I know someone knows they have done wrong. You don’t lie in this way, when you have done no wrong.

This is dishonesty, lack of courage and lack of empathy for the person hurt. And selfishness, because lying to someone in this way, is defending ones own ego, not about helping the other person.

When this is a pattern of behaviour, I know I’m dealing with someone Continue reading


Once you lie to me, I will not trust you again.

Lying is acceptable to most people. Not to me. I’ve had way too many people lie to me about serious issues that have harmed me.

If I need to be able to trust someone, and I know they are lying to me – especially to cover their own issues/wrongs that have hurt me – that is the end of any trust I can ever have in that person.

You cannot trust a liar, especially those who can’t even admit they are liars.

Lying to someone is abusive, a betrayal and it is deliberate behaviour. It shows an absolute lack of respect, lack of honesty, lack of empathy and shows how self motivated and weak the person is. And how they are willing to hurt, harm and betray someone, for their own needs which are paramount.

And once someone lies, you are very unwise to not consider what else they have been lying about – as it is unlikely the first lie they have told you.



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All my husbands test results and sleep results are back…… all completely normal.

My husband – at my insistence – recently had a whole heap of blood tests and an overnight sleep study……. to determine whether anything is contributing to his ‘issues.

As I suspected, they were all normal, except iron being a little low – still within the normal range, but a little low. Sleep study – he snores a little, but no sleep issues that are out of the normal, or will be affect his health.

So, his GP has prescribed Prozac and agreed, that as he believes my husband does have a personality disorder, that therapy is unlikely to help.

I am supporting my husband taking this medication, but I do realise – it will not change his personality disorder issues.

But, if medication makes him happier, who knows – he may feel less need to do these things.

Wishful thinking – probably.

But, I am resolved to helping him and I really do hope it helps, for his sake, for my children’s sake.

Narcissists are pathological liars and don’t feel remorse, or guilt.

Sadly, I see the following, in my marriage and in my husband.

He lies about anything, even little things. Frequently.

And he has no capacity for guilt, remorse.

Anger – that I speak about his lying, yes.

But, no remorse, no guilt, no conscience.

And my previous counsellor, stated this ^^^^ could be an ‘adequate’ relationship.

Fuck that.

Or actually, no thanks  – I don’t want to fuck that….. how sick would I be – to want to have sex with an abuser???

I am actually over that fucked up shit now.

And anyone who condones this pathological lying/emotional abuse, and claims this can still be an adequate relationship, has some real issues of their own.

If their lips are moving they are lying.

Narcissists are pathological liars, you probably have no idea all the lies he’s told you or about you. They will lie to you about things that you did together.

They will misquote you to yourself. If you disagree with them, they will say you are lying, or crazy. (If you have been with them any amount of time you are probably starting to believe they might be right)

They lie about EVERYTHING, even stuff they don’t have to lie about.

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I hate being lied to. So angry….I am now dissociated. Bad language alert.

Lying is abuse.

And narcissistic.

I hate being lied to.

Lying means you know you cannot trust that person.

You cannot trust they haven’t lied about other things.

Especially when what they have lied about, was done with deviousness and was totally unnecessary.

In this case, lying by omission.

Which of course, to narcissistic people, means they believe they haven’t actually lied.

And with that, the dramatics that follow, to deflect away from the lying and devious behaviour.

I hate that I have always been drawn to these types of people.

Why are so many people unable to tell the fucking truth.

Lying to people is abusive. It is planned. It is intentional. It is narcissism. Continue reading