Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Listened to advice about handling a group situation, and it is working out.

I know to seek advice on issues I am not always sure how to deal with. I asked how to manage a certain situation with an unhealthy, disordered person…. and the advice in counselling, was spot on.

When dealing with unhealthy, personality disordered people, you have to stay one step ahead of their issues, and take none of their issues personally (which I don’t) and do what’s best for ‘all’ concerned. This includes not giving in to the unhealthy person’s issues.

When this a group situation being threatened by divisive, controlling, self serving behaviours – this affects a group. But, often people within the group will likely have also noticed the issues of the person and don’t want that drama in their lives either.

It is a relief, when you hear other people feel the same way and have noticed all the same things Continue reading


Good to ask a professional.

I am thankful I can have conversations about human behaviour, with a professional. Especially one who has dealt with personality disordered people in her own personal life, as well as professionally. So understands the traits, well.

So good to explain all the witnessed behaviours, patterns etc of a person and then be able to ask ‘so is that typical aspergers behaviour, or narcissism behaviour?’ And be told it is narcissism, and not typical of aspergers, at all. I am not someone able to diagnose disorders, but I will take advice from someone who can.

It was also confirmed, that empathic people like me, will always be targeted by narcissistic personality disordered people. They sense empathic people and want them to become their ‘special’ friend, who they can emotionally consume and use. When you don’t fulfil their unhealthy demands, or you put in place healthy boundaries, they discard you and set about trying to split up friendships, called splitting.

Good to know this happens repeatedly to empathic people, simply because of their empathy. It has happened to my counsellor too.

Continue reading


When you realise you’ve been lied to about child abuse, that is not okay.

People don’t get convicted of child abuse, unless there is sufficient evidence. When someone’s own solicitor says to a client to plead guilty of a lessor charge – to avoid prison, there clearly is sufficient evidence. I was lied to about all this.

When there are so many known instances of lying about other people, and continual bizarre behaviours, continual self absorption, continual lack of self insight, continual blaming of everyone else, and never looking within at who is the issue – you know not to believe what you are being told about anything.

Unhealthy, toxic people, who lie – never tell you the full story. They only tell you what they want you to believe – that gains them sympathy and no accountability. They manipulate people, and easily. It’s always someone else’s fault. Never theirs. They can do ‘no wrong’. They reel you in to their webs of deceit and drama. As narcissistic people do. Continue reading


It is interesting learning more about people who are self obsessed and lack empathy.

Talking with my counsellor yesterday, and it helps to know the issues I pick up on in some, are about emotional development delays.

When dealing with someone who is absolutely and continually self obsessed, only ever talks about self, is consumed by own life and issues, is not interested in the lives/issues of others (shows lip service only), has immature behaviours and little self awareness ……. I see clearly the emotional developmental delays. It is like dealing with a 3 year old.

It is very draining to deal with someone like this, so boundaries are needed. Which I have.

My counsellor knows more of the psychology based terms for these emotional developmental delays, of which I don’t always remember. But, I do pick up on them and work out what they are about. And I do have compassion for these issues.

It is also why I see the overlap of narcissism, within people who are emotionally developmentally delayed. Narcissism being total self absorption, lack of empathy or concern for others, often a lack of self awareness or capacity to be honest about self, lack of capacity to think rationally etc. This often combined with many cognitively distortion patterns of thinking and unhealthy behaviours.

It is also helpful to always remember, to not personalise their issues. Because their issues, are all their own and they will act in childish, hurtful ways to others. And the sad part is, their issues make them unhappy and then affect others. Which I don’t want for them. Continue reading


People who make every conversation ‘all about me’.

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2015/09/27/how-to-tell-if-youre-a-conversational-narcissist/

I see this frequently. In fact, virtually every conversation I have with people (other than my friends), is always all about them and rarely do I get asked how I am doing. Even my husband has noticed this. He agrees that I always ask people how they are doing, how their week is going etc and I genuinely want to know how they are …. and mostly people do not ask back.

Even when something serious happens, a death in the family, some people can make it about them, instead of just focussing on the person grieving.

The levels of selfishness I see in many people, are huge. It’s really tiring and makes me lose interest in people. Continue reading


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The narcissist and feigning innocence, acting dumb….

Narcissists employ a whole range of deceptive tactics. Feigning innocence, is one of many.

They will intentionally do wrong in a covert and manipulative manner, and then ask ‘have I done something wrong?’. They know exactly what they have done wrong… but will act like they have done nothing. And then if you confront them, they will lie, deny and tell you – you are the problem. It becomes gas lighting.

When I know I am dealing with narcissistic people (which I am and I have blocked her from my social media), I can read them like a book. Having lived with narcissistic people throughout my childhood and having to learn all their tactics to survive, I am vigilant and adept at seeing them in action.

Strong boundaries are always needed, because highly narcissistic people, do not change. They are dishonest and selfish to their core. I do not play along with their games. Continue reading


So Abbott didn’t even make it to the next election…. not suprised.

He might have stopped the boats, but he couldn’t stop the votes….

I’ve made it clear in previous blogs what my views on Abbott are.

He is a slime ball and he gives me the creeps. And he has done since before he was PM. I know to trust my instincts and see patterns of behaviours and the real motivations behind them.

It also bothers me greatly when a man like him, pretends to be a Christian and flaunts his religious views, giving a terrible view to a whole country of what a Christian is. He does not, in any way represent true Christians. Many church people yes, but there is a huge difference between being a Christian and being a church person.

He’s a pathological liar and narcissistic. His latest show of racism, in his laughing at Dutton’s racist joke, is a the perfect show of who he truly is.

I’m not in the slightest bit surprised that more than half of his own party wanted him out. More half of the rest of the country want him gone. The only people who don’t, are those as narcissistic, elitist, misogynistic, homophobic and racist as he is. Continue reading


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Interestingly, the worst bullying and harassment I have had on social media, has been from ex military.

Firstly, I will state that many ex military are wonderful people. In no way, am I generalising all ex military, or current military as the same.

The worst bullying and harassment on social media, has been from ex military. And I see why. The military attracts and develops some people into beings with little conscience, little empathy and an ability to destroy people – with no remorse, with the ‘reason’ of protecting their country. It gives them the belief that this psychopathic behaviour, is okay. The military develop and grow people into fighting machines, with pack mentality, where retaliation and revenge are part of the job. They are taught/forced to suppress all emotions, all sense of conscience, all sense of remorse. All the hallmarks of highly disordered/unhealthy people. And the better the psychopath they become, the more they are hailed as being a military success.

I’ve read so many articles on the internet about how the military has higher than average levels of narcissists /sociopaths/ psychopaths and it’s easy to see why. And how many will be further up that continuum than average.

Plus you only have to read the appalling statistics on sexual violence perpetrated within the military, to see what goes on even within their own comrades. Quote “Last year, soldiers were 15 times more likely to be raped by a comrade then killed by an enemy.” http://mic.com/articles/72503/pentagon-releases-startling-new-statistics-on-military-sexual-assault. Again behaviour by people with no empathy, no conscience, no remorse. And willing to harm others, easily. More facts about sexual violence/abuse perpetuated by military @ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/military-sexual-assault-facts_b_4281704.html.

And even the ‘fight’ trauma response in itself, is narcissistic. See http://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/#!about1/c2bg

I think the military destroys many people.

My husband works with a few fellow cops, who were ex military and they have confirmed how higher levels of violence, bullying, and nasty behaviour does go on, how many have a ‘chip on their shoulder’ and they have seen this for themselves. How they treat their families badly and feel so entitled in their actions.

It makes sense to me how this occurs, when you consider the type of training and combat training they endure. And the psychological implications of this. Continue reading


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Proof of intentional cyber bullying and abuse.

I recently reported a PTSD page to Facebook, for (multiple) theft of intellectual property, which was from both my page and website. I had every right to do so, especially as they refused to take down the work which had my page/website details removed and work had been copied from my website, and no source given, so they passed it off as their own. Facebook, confirmed theft of intellectual property.

As a result of this, I received considerable cyber abuse, trolling and harassment.

This is proof of said abuse. This stolen poster was removed by Facebook when I reported it, as it clearly was stolen. This woman’s behaviour and actions are also slander and defamation.

This was my original poster, created in March 2015.

Fullscreen capture 28062015 45919 PM

I updated this recently to add my page name, due to people stealing my posters and removing the page name at the top.

I received this post to my page recently and Ashley Garrison, posted this to many posts on my page, in a deliberate act of abuse, lying, accusations, and bullying.

Fullscreen capture 28062015 52812 PM

This shows a watermark she added, and then accused me of stealing. There is no way I could have removed that watermark, to steal that poster. And I have many posters, with the same picture, same font on the writing on my page. It is clearly my poster. It was written by me, my words, my picture. And she intentionally added a watermark and then accused me of theft, which is exactly what she did herself. Narcissistic projection, intentional abuse, lying and harm.

Pathetic.

Facebook removed this poster and confirmed it was theft of my intellectual property. Fullscreen capture 28062015 33856 AM  Continue reading


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Better self care implemented. Unliking every page dealing with narcissism/psychopathy (etc), except 3.

I have come to realise just how many disordered and dysfunctional people are admins of pages about narcissistic (etc) abuse. I am not the only page admin who has noted this. Two others I do support, have also stated the same.

I have made the decision, to unlike every page except for 3 I trust… who have proven themselves to be trustworthy and having good motivations, over a long period of time…

After Narcissistic Abuse, There is Light, Life & Love

Psychopath Free

Self Care Haven/The Smart Girl’s Guide to Self Care

These three are featured on my Website. And I note, they all have great self care and boundaries – as healthy people do. They focus on their own work, and do not associate much with other pages etc, at all. I am, however, blessed – they do all support my work too. As do many mental health professionals. I am blessed with quality support.

I also stick to professionals in the field, experts in personality disorders, as their work is respected, educated, insightful and valuable.

I refuse to get sucked in to any further unhealthy BS on social media, and I refuse to feel responsible for people who are being lied to, groomed and duped by unhealthy people. They are not my responsibility. They are their own. My issues of ‘over responsibility’ for others, is something I was burdened with as a child, by my abusive mother.

And I accept only ‘I’ can change this and change this, I must. 

I have been sucked into unhealthy, disordered people’s lives, lies and BS all my life and the only way to stop this, is to stop participating in it. Continue reading