Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Listened to advice about handling a group situation, and it is working out.

I know to seek advice on issues I am not always sure how to deal with. I asked how to manage a certain situation with an unhealthy, disordered person…. and the advice in counselling, was spot on.

When dealing with unhealthy, personality disordered people, you have to stay one step ahead of their issues, and take none of their issues personally (which I don’t) and do what’s best for ‘all’ concerned. This includes not giving in to the unhealthy person’s issues.

When this a group situation being threatened by divisive, controlling, self serving behaviours – this affects a group. But, often people within the group will likely have also noticed the issues of the person and don’t want that drama in their lives either.

It is a relief, when you hear other people feel the same way and have noticed all the same things Continue reading


Good to ask a professional.

I am thankful I can have conversations about human behaviour, with a professional. Especially one who has dealt with personality disordered people in her own personal life, as well as professionally. So understands the traits, well.

So good to explain all the witnessed behaviours, patterns etc of a person and then be able to ask ‘so is that typical aspergers behaviour, or narcissism behaviour?’ And be told it is narcissism, and not typical of aspergers, at all. I am not someone able to diagnose disorders, but I will take advice from someone who can.

It was also confirmed, that empathic people like me, will always be targeted by narcissistic personality disordered people. They sense empathic people and want them to become their ‘special’ friend, who they can emotionally consume and use. When you don’t fulfil their unhealthy demands, or you put in place healthy boundaries, they discard you and set about trying to split up friendships, called splitting.

Good to know this happens repeatedly to empathic people, simply because of their empathy. It has happened to my counsellor too.

Continue reading


When you realise you’ve been lied to about child abuse, that is not okay.

People don’t get convicted of child abuse, unless there is sufficient evidence. When someone’s own solicitor says to a client to plead guilty of a lessor charge – to avoid prison, there clearly is sufficient evidence. I was lied to about all this.

When there are so many known instances of lying about other people, and continual bizarre behaviours, continual self absorption, continual lack of self insight, continual blaming of everyone else, and never looking within at who is the issue – you know not to believe what you are being told about anything.

Unhealthy, toxic people, who lie – never tell you the full story. They only tell you what they want you to believe – that gains them sympathy and no accountability. They manipulate people, and easily. It’s always someone else’s fault. Never theirs. They can do ‘no wrong’. They reel you in to their webs of deceit and drama. As narcissistic people do. Continue reading


It is interesting learning more about people who are self obsessed and lack empathy.

Talking with my counsellor yesterday, and it helps to know the issues I pick up on in some, are about emotional development delays.

When dealing with someone who is absolutely and continually self obsessed, only ever talks about self, is consumed by own life and issues, is not interested in the lives/issues of others (shows lip service only), has immature behaviours and little self awareness ……. I see clearly the emotional developmental delays. It is like dealing with a 3 year old.

It is very draining to deal with someone like this, so boundaries are needed. Which I have.

My counsellor knows more of the psychology based terms for these emotional developmental delays, of which I don’t always remember. But, I do pick up on them and work out what they are about. And I do have compassion for these issues.

It is also why I see the overlap of narcissism, within people who are emotionally developmentally delayed. Narcissism being total self absorption, lack of empathy or concern for others, often a lack of self awareness or capacity to be honest about self, lack of capacity to think rationally etc. This often combined with many cognitively distortion patterns of thinking and unhealthy behaviours.

It is also helpful to always remember, to not personalise their issues. Because their issues, are all their own and they will act in childish, hurtful ways to others. And the sad part is, their issues make them unhappy and then affect others. Which I don’t want for them. Continue reading


People who make every conversation ‘all about me’.

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2015/09/27/how-to-tell-if-youre-a-conversational-narcissist/

I see this frequently. In fact, virtually every conversation I have with people (other than my friends), is always all about them and rarely do I get asked how I am doing. Even my husband has noticed this. He agrees that I always ask people how they are doing, how their week is going etc and I genuinely want to know how they are …. and mostly people do not ask back.

Even when something serious happens, a death in the family, some people can make it about them, instead of just focussing on the person grieving.

The levels of selfishness I see in many people, are huge. It’s really tiring and makes me lose interest in people. Continue reading


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The narcissist and feigning innocence, acting dumb….

Narcissists employ a whole range of deceptive tactics. Feigning innocence, is one of many.

They will intentionally do wrong in a covert and manipulative manner, and then ask ‘have I done something wrong?’. They know exactly what they have done wrong… but will act like they have done nothing. And then if you confront them, they will lie, deny and tell you – you are the problem. It becomes gas lighting.

When I know I am dealing with narcissistic people (which I am and I have blocked her from my social media), I can read them like a book. Having lived with narcissistic people throughout my childhood and having to learn all their tactics to survive, I am vigilant and adept at seeing them in action.

Strong boundaries are always needed, because highly narcissistic people, do not change. They are dishonest and selfish to their core. I do not play along with their games. Continue reading


So Abbott didn’t even make it to the next election…. not suprised.

He might have stopped the boats, but he couldn’t stop the votes….

I’ve made it clear in previous blogs what my views on Abbott are.

He is a slime ball and he gives me the creeps. And he has done since before he was PM. I know to trust my instincts and see patterns of behaviours and the real motivations behind them.

It also bothers me greatly when a man like him, pretends to be a Christian and flaunts his religious views, giving a terrible view to a whole country of what a Christian is. He does not, in any way represent true Christians. Many church people yes, but there is a huge difference between being a Christian and being a church person.

He’s a pathological liar and narcissistic. His latest show of racism, in his laughing at Dutton’s racist joke, is a the perfect show of who he truly is.

I’m not in the slightest bit surprised that more than half of his own party wanted him out. More half of the rest of the country want him gone. The only people who don’t, are those as narcissistic, elitist, misogynistic, homophobic and racist as he is. Continue reading