Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Church people are often the worst at invalidating the pain caused by abuse.

Just read an article about Mark Driscoll…….. who even prior to his big fall from grace……. I had already detected was a narcissistic, misogynistic wolf in sheep’s clothing.

And with all that has occurred, the bullying, the abuse, the trolling under a fake name, the plagiarism, the fraud etc……. it is so obvious to me what he is.

But, 99% of the comments on the article were supporting him.


None of them can see the obvious narcissism, the hurt and harm Driscoll has caused None of them can see these traits don’t just ‘go away’.

Nope, they all want to think of their own selfish reasons to support Driscoll, or trot out the old cheap grace card.

Absolutely no compassion shown for all those he abused. That is conveniently ignored.

Church people, are often the worst culprits for defending abusive, narcissistic, sociopathic people. With no care for the victims.

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Some Christian psychologists, recognise the affects of sociopaths/narcissists & are willing to use correct terminology


It is helpful to see some Christians, recognise the affects of the trauma caused by narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths and are willing to use the correct psychiatric terminology to describe them.

And recognise the need for boundaries and no contact.

None of this ‘you must stay and help them’, ‘you must have reconciliation’, you must ignore their abuse – we are all sinners BS.

I also was thankful for the clarification………that NO God won’t change them……..unless they ‘want’ to be changed……and guess what……..they don’t want to change, because they don’t think they do anything wrong……they are incapable of change…..and she has never seen any of them change.

I already knew this. God doesn’t take away free will. So, how can they be changed when they don’t think there is anything wrong with them.

The fine line between martyrs & narcissists…

Interesting reading on what I also see within society within Christianity, as those who truly are martyrs, and often narcissists, and yet don’t realise it. And will be very upset if you point this out.

I have always noticed this, had the red flags and know narcissistic martyr behaviour when I see it. Of course, that is never received well.


I was struck by this idea yesterday, driving home from work, about the perhaps narrower line between the one and the other than we might assume.  I believe that when we think “narcissist”, we are only thinking of the classics.  Recent history (like the last few weeks of news) has inserted a few new narcissists into the public archive- although there was no surprise there- such as Mr. Sheen and Mr Gaddafi, Mr Berlosconi now on trial on Italy, Mr. West of music and making idiotic comment fame.

These men live in their completely self involved and self deluded world, mirrored by hand selected sycophantic nubile nymphs and entourages of beta males.  Every man who is not him is a beta male.  Or less.  No men want to be a beta male, but having to accept that, many will go for an A in Asskissing. If you remember which one of you is the sun, you might get some radiation, I mean, radiant heat from his glow.  Eventually, things burn down.

All of them see themselves as unique, amazing individuals who have been unfairly singled out, and unfairly criticized while they live in truth, and stand for something much greater than our average feeble minds can understand.  They could lead a cult.  Oh wait, they already do. 

It’s not too hard to find lesser narcissists among us.  In what used to be a rarer occurrence (blame the lamestream media and the interwebs), we now have weekly if not daily occurrences of these men driven, DRIVEN, by a higher force, to share themselves with the world.  They can’t help it, they have to bring the message to the public.  Be like me, I am like a god. Listen to me, god speaks through me.  For those not on the god channel, with considerably less musical talent, an incapacity to get elected to office, or a face just not up there for the movie industry, our pantheon of minor narcissists finds paid work in the pulpit of enthusiastic religious crowds, the parapet of counter-politics, and the publishing world of instant self recognition- now with video.  

The message is the same, the content and delivery and audience different.  I am here to serve you, the masses, by gracing you with my brilliance. I have no choice, I suffer, for you.  This will end by the hand of god, I will have to die in a blaze of glory.  I will not go down without a fight to the death, taking any and all with me.  How is that not a martyr?

On the flipside of martyrdom, we often find our long suffering, more commonly recognized martyrs attached to the world of “good”.  They get out there and slog all day long, unrepenting, unrelenting, and unreimbursed.  Some get some “free” media coverage, but they are not the hero, they are the fighter of the cause.  Also suffering, also fighting the good fight or the right fight, they will go down with the ship.  Or the unpopular vote.  Their narcissist enemies will paint them into self involved, outside egos.  They know how to do this very well.

Our “lesser” martyrs among us can often be found in social service groups- like church, elementary schools, hospital settings.  These are the ladies, and men, who just refuse to say “no” and take on yet another thing because that is their sworn duty.  To god, or to themselves.  It is why they are here.  I am all for having some purpose to guide your life, a few mottos and philosophies to inform our decision-making. Blind adherence becomes short sighted, the vision of how we want to see ourselves in the mirror, how we would like others to see us.  

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