Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Good to ask a professional.

I am thankful I can have conversations about human behaviour, with a professional. Especially one who has dealt with personality disordered people in her own personal life, as well as professionally. So understands the traits, well.

So good to explain all the witnessed behaviours, patterns etc of a person and then be able to ask ‘so is that typical aspergers behaviour, or narcissism behaviour?’ And be told it is narcissism, and not typical of aspergers, at all. I am not someone able to diagnose disorders, but I will take advice from someone who can.

It was also confirmed, that empathic people like me, will always be targeted by narcissistic personality disordered people. They sense empathic people and want them to become their ‘special’ friend, who they can emotionally consume and use. When you don’t fulfil their unhealthy demands, or you put in place healthy boundaries, they discard you and set about trying to split up friendships, called splitting.

Good to know this happens repeatedly to empathic people, simply because of their empathy. It has happened to my counsellor too.

Continue reading


My choice of husbands, truly shows my internalised abusers/emotional self harming behaviours.

Ex husband = alcoholic, gambling addict, very selfish, abusive, narcissistic, sociopathic traits, pathological liar, compulsive thief, not trustworthy, enabled by equally disordered parents.

Current husband = serial adulterer, low moral compass, no empathy, no conscience, no guilt, no remorse, pathological liar, narcissistic/sociopathic traits, not trustworthy, GP diagnosed his personality disorder.

What a fucked up mess my life has been…….. and continues to be.

Due to my childhood and those I associated with in my 20’s, I had no awareness of what a decent person looked like, particularly men.

Due to my childhood and my fucked up mother and step father – I continued the abuse they started.

I internalised all their shit, and continued it, to myself.

My whole life has been completely fucked up, and now I have children in the mix, and I don’t know 100% whether I am making good choices for them.

And I have different people saying different things to me, and quite frankly, I don’t know who to listen to.

*sigh.


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Learning about, and educating others about narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths…is needed. So do not ‘shame’ me for it.

People can make the very wrong assumption and judgment, that because I educate and post about narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths……that I am just bitter, unforgiving and judging them.

I’ve had people say to me they think it is wrong that I post about people who abuse …and shame me for this.

If I hadn’t chosen to educate myself about people who cause abuse and harm……..I wouldn’t have learned what happened to me…..I wouldn’t have learned that it was 100% wrong and 100% the responsibility of the person causing the abuse.

Describing someone who is clearly a fully diagnosable psychopath, or narcissist etc – as exactly that…….isn’t wrong or judgment…..it is stating the truth and those who are at that end of the continuum, are always that person…..they aren’t e.g. a  non psychopath sometimes, and then a psychopath other times…….that is s very immature attitude to believe.

I don’t describe everyone who has hurt me, as a fully diagnosable ‘insert personality disorder’.

But the ones I know were/are…..I will.

And the others as sociopathic….narcissistic.

That is not labelling…….it is a fact.

It is their personality that is so deeply entrenched within them, along with a lack of empathy, lack of conscience, lack of remorse, lack of willingness to be anything else……that it consumes their entire being, and every action, every thought, every behaviour.

When they are appearing to be decent, or kind…..it is fake, non genuine and only for manipulative and self serving needs……and this façade and fake persona they can easily adopt……even fools many mental health professionals.

I don’t encourage hatred, or retaliation, revenge, wishing bad on others….at all.

By learning all I have myself…….and I didn’t lean any of this in counselling…….I learned it all by my own education of myself about psychology…..

I have been able to start to deal with the deeper aspects of the damage they made decisions to cause.

Like why I was the family scapegoat.

Why my mother allowed me to be abused.

Why no-one cared about the abuse.

Why I had certain behaviours…….to survive all this abuse.

Why they can’t own what they have done….so to not hold out hope they will.

Why none of what happened was my shame, guilt or blame……but why they projected all their shame, guilt and blame onto me and how to start healing those wounds.

Why so many people are duped by these master manipulators/liars.

Why society knows little about all this and so victims get little support.

I know you cannot heal unless you know all this, so I am thankful I can take the more courageous road of learning, educating myself, and dealing with it all, no matter how painful…

And in sharing my journey, I have helped 1000’s of others in their journey too.

There’s not many Christians out there willing to open about abuse and who causes it and why………they get hung up on this false belief that we must not say anything ‘bad’ about people…….because we are all sinners.

But, it is very much needed to educate self and others about all this.

I don’t take the more comfortable path many church people will take and ignore most of it and just ‘forgive’ and show cheap grace.

I have had people criticise me for this and suggest that no contact with my mother etc is wrong.

Well, I don’t live in denial or a positive illusion If they need to have that, it is their own self serving issues.

But I will tell then they are very wrong and unwise,..to suggest what I do, is not okay, or needed.

I remind people…….the truth is what sets you free.

Not denial, or minimizing the harm some cause, or pretending they are nice/decent when they aren’t.

Education is needed and if you shame people, for becoming educated and embracing truth..with all the deep courage required for this……………then I suggest you take a good look inside your own heart and soul.


The psychological mess…….of the Kardashian family….all due to narcissism.

I was thankful my insight into the Kardashian family, was validated in counselling.

The very obvious narcissistic mother Kris, pimped out her children young, persuading Kim to do her first nude photo shoot for Playboy, which Kim didn’t even want to do.

But Kris knew it was a money/fame making decision.  Kris has been pimping out her kids ever since.

Kris has psychologically screwed up her entire family, and the fact that she openly talks about Kim being her favourite child, is abuse, plus her obvious feigned love for anyone, bar herself. I could list many more of her obvious narcissistic traits.

 I don’t hate or even dislike the Kardashian girls, I do dislike Kris.

Sadly, I see Kim heading the same way as to how her daughter is already being ‘used’ as a fashion victim accessory – the ‘pimping out’ already beginning.

I can see how messed up they all are and their behaviours, their image needy, fame needy, materialistic, money, fashion needy, shallow issues, are all due to their upbringing.

However, they are all now grown adults, and it is their own issues to not see what they do is wrong and unhealthy. But, I doubt they will ever see their own issues, narcissistic people rarely do.

My use of the word ‘pimped out’ – was validated as absolutely correct.

Anyone who thinks they are healthy people and what they do is okay, are very unhealthy themselves.

I worked out all the above for myself, because human behaviour discernment, is a skill of mine.

Upon researching this morning, I find I am not the only person by far, who has the same discernment.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/06/kris-jenner-psychological-evaulation_n_2631110.html

http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2013/02/kris-jenner-psyche-evaluation-robert-kardashian-divorce-narcissist-demanding-manipulative/


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Narcissists & Sociopaths….are ‘unwilling’ to stop hurting people…not ‘unable’.

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They can control their behaviours….it is how they can create images and fool many.

They know right from wrong….they choose to have harmful behaviours.

They are mentally ill…..but not with a disorder that renders them unable to stop hurting people in their sly, manipulative and devious way.

People should realise this….whenever they start feeling sorry for them.

They ‘choose’ to hurt people. And they enjoy it.

And not as a ‘one-off’………but repeatedly, all their lives.

It is their victims who need the compassion and care.


Each person, is at their own level of consciousness & INFP info that is so me.

INCREASING

I know my own levels of consciousness have developed due to my life experiences, and my willingness to learn about humanity. I know I have more to learn and I seek that. But, I do trust my discernment and insight into people, because it is proven accurate too many times.

I want to not stress about these people giving bad advice to others and duping people into believing they are doing good, when I know they are not….because there is little I can do about that and it is not even my job. It is everyone’s own responsibility to figure people out, not mine. I put enough info out there about abusive traits/people to help educate people and I need not do anymore.

Even though it bothers me greatly to know people are being led astray and with unhealthy advice and influences. But, I have to stop stressing about it. I know my empathy to want to help everyone not be hurt, is my overly sensitive mothering instinct, born from my childhood and being a mother as a child and needing to protect my sisters…..but I am not that person anymore.

It is so hard for me to accept much harm, many lies, much deceit, much denial, much abuse, much darkness occurs in the world, right under everyone’s noses, and not stress about it all.

I want the best for every single person in this world….and I realise stressing about that not being a feasible or realistic desire….is only setting myself up for stress, worry and emotional turmoil. Continue reading


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Glad to see validation. A psychologist with the same insight as I have, into Abbott and pals.

The latest revelations about the Abbott Government have led psychologist Lyn Bender to wonder: is Prime Minister Tony Abbott incapable of human feeling?

THE psychopath may be smart even highly intelligent, but lacks empathy and is a chronic manipulator.

He is morally bankrupt due to this lack of empathy and narcissism. What he doesn’t feel, he mimics to further his own ends.

The psychopath or sociopath is careless of others feelings, exhibits no guilt or remorse, lies compulsively and acts impulsively with little regard for the consequences of those actions.

Grandiosity inflates a sense of getting away with anything.

The focus is never on reparation — but on escaping any responsibility for the harm inflicted on others.

The drive is essentially narcissistic, even if it is paraded as altruistic.

The psychopath may become enraged at accusations, and aggressive and defensive, even if those accusations are grounded in fact.

Behaviours and responses that appear to contradict the lack of empathy are, in fact, part of manipulating others to further the psychopath’s own ends. The actions are thoroughly Machiavellian with the end justifying the means — but the ends are narcissistically focused.

Sound like anyone you know?

The latest revelations about the Abbott Government’s manipulation, deceit and lies have led me to wonder: is Prime Minister Abbott incapable of human feeling?

Previously I have asked questions in IA about Abbott and his team — concerning idiocy, insincerity, and being a headless chook.

The latest revelations − I mean allegations − of blatant lies regarding the Government have led me to confront, a profoundly serious fear — a scarily looming terror.

No, it’s not the Joe Hockey fictional budget crisis.

What is keeping me awake at night is the following nagging thought:

“What if Prime Minister Tony Abbott just a psychopath?”

Surrounding himself with like-minded ministers advisors and old cronies, Abbott is forging his way towards his version of a small government free market quasi neo conservative nirvana. Continue reading


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Free Downloadable Book On Narcissism.

I have read a fair amount of this book, and it is insightful and a good read.

Much of all this, I have already worked out myself about narcs/psychopaths, before ever educating myself on them, because I know them all too well. I have been abused by several, over long periods of time.

All the manipulation, preying on certain people, the focus on protecting image, how they mirror other people’s emotions, capacity to harm others with no remorse, no conscience, lying…

All things I hate.

Click to access npd.pdf

Society should be more educated and informed about what these personality disorders are about, how much harm they cause and just how little their behaviour is understood or noticed by most.

And how they often fool mental health professionals, interestingly.

They don’t fool me – I have skilled narc/psychopath/sociopath radar.