Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


The issue of ‘blame’. Or a better phrase ‘responsibility’.

There is a lot of unwise thinking that perpetuates this immature belief, that you should never ‘blame’ anyone else for your issues. You should not ever say someone else is responsible for the issues you are having. Such BS. And takes away personal responsibility from those who do cause issues and have caused you harm.

I have PTSD and Complex PTSD, and I will give the entire responsibility for this, to those who intentionally and severely abused my in the first 20 years of my life. I will not internalise this as my responsibility, because that is very unhealthy. If they had not chosen to abuse me, I would not have PTSD. It is a simple as that. People who abuse people, cause damage to other people’s lives, and as such the responsibility for that is theirs. My only responsibility, is to do what is needed to heal those wounds, and be responsible for my life now. And I am.

Removing personal responsibility for abusive and harmful actions, has become popular. And adds to the increasing society issues. It’s also one of those BS new age thinking beliefs, that is so unwise and so unhealthy. But, popular.

On the other hand, I see people externalising blame, for things that that should not be about blaming something/someone else.

An example, poor parenting. A family where mental health issues and developmental issues are clearly occurring. The parenting is poor in some areas. The parent recognises there are issues, Continue reading


Mental illness, does not negate personal responsibility for abusive actions.

Today in counselling, I brought up this bizarre belief many in society, including many within the mental health profession have…. of justifying/rationalising abusive behaviours… and ‘blaming’ mental illness. I see it all the time … “she/he can’t help it, she/he is mentally ill”. So unwise. Actually in most cases, yes they can help it. They made choices.

And the response was, an agreement that indeed not all mental illness means people are not responsible and conscious of their actions.

There are some mental illness, like psychosis, that does mean people are not consciously aware of their behaviours. But this a very small % of people.

To say narcissistic, sociopathic people, paedophiles, predators, con artists etc…. are ‘just mentally ill’ and ‘can’t help what do’ – is absolutely wrong. That’s not compassion/empathy. That is cognitive distortion – rationalising, denial, minimizing, justifying etc. That’s not dealing in truth.

Within most mental illness, people still know their abusive actions are wrong and they do it anyway. They are fully responsible for their actions.

Having a mental health diagnosis does not negate personal responsibility for actions. It is still choices people make. And people need to be made responsible for their actions. Continue reading