Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


People who make every conversation ‘all about me’.

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2015/09/27/how-to-tell-if-youre-a-conversational-narcissist/

I see this frequently. In fact, virtually every conversation I have with people (other than my friends), is always all about them and rarely do I get asked how I am doing. Even my husband has noticed this. He agrees that I always ask people how they are doing, how their week is going etc and I genuinely want to know how they are …. and mostly people do not ask back.

Even when something serious happens, a death in the family, some people can make it about them, instead of just focussing on the person grieving.

The levels of selfishness I see in many people, are huge. It’s really tiring and makes me lose interest in people. Continue reading


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Egocentric, ‘all about me’, apathy attitudes everywhere.

I met up with a new friend the other day, for a play date with her daughter and my son, who are in grade one class at school.

This woman comes along to the food bank I volunteer at and takes 2 boxes (which is only meant to happen for large families and she only has 2 young children). And she is one of those people who has money to buy other luxuries in life, but ‘takes’ from a food bank to get really cheap food. That bothers me, but I realise sadly many people ‘abuse’ charities and the good work volunteers do, for their own selfish needs. I realise there are a % of people who do this, ‘taking’….. but I try to focus on the genuine people in need.

During a conversation, she spoke about how she doesn’t watch the news and ‘doesn’t care’ about other people’s problems, she has enough of her own. (Don’t we all). She doesn’t want to see horrible stories about what happens to people.

She displayed the common attitude of avoiding and apathy, that sadly society promotes… that has no level of empathy, no compassion for others, and no awareness of life outside of own egocentric circle. Continue reading


Sometimes, it is needed to tell selfish/narcissistic people straight up… shut up.

A post to my page, after I read another admin, was hassled and criticised…….


I just saw a post on another page…….. where a wonderful admin, who has a heart of gold….. and is going through some heavy stuff herself….. has been criticised by people.

Wow.

I’ve had my fair share of criticism too.

Quite frankly…….. it is a very selfish/narcissistic heart, that criticises page admins, knowing we too are in this healing journey.

And the criticism, that the posts are not what that person wants/needs ……when they are what ‘others’ need…. completely selfish too.

Only deeply selfish and narcissistic minds, think they have the right & entitlement to criticise.

Most page admins are truly wanting to help others, and put in a lot of hard work & effort and spend a lot of time posting info for ‘others’.

And some selfish, narcissistic people…… have to come along and be critical and complain.

Isn’t that truly quite disgusting?!

Admins are survivors too……. we are people going through lots of our own crap, dealing with trauma and grieving, just like everyone else.

Continue reading


What advocacy for mental health……should *not* be about.

*sigh.

There is a big difference between being honest/open about mental health….and using it as a big excuse to be unhealthy and enabling/encouraging dysfunctional behaviours – that do in fact affect ‘other people’.

That’s the big issue I see…..is the narcissism within people…..’I am what I am and I don’t care if my ‘stuff’ affects you – tough – I don’t intend changing’.

So NOT what advocating for mental health should be about, at all.

But, appeals to the selfishness and narcissism in too many people and in particular certain mental health disorders (there are several directly linked to narcissistic behaviours outside of the personality disorder clusters).

 And mental health stigma is increased……by these unwise & egocentric people.

And this is why I cannot work with such people and I do not promote their behaviours/’work’.


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If you only want to be in my life, when I am down….

A person who only wants to be in your life….when you are down…but can’t be happy for you when you doing better….is someone you do *not* need in your life.

Selfishness, envy and narcissism comes in many forms…some less obvious than others.

No matter how dark times have been for myself…..I have always been so thankful and happy for others when they are doing well, and encouraged that.

And I only want people in my life, who are the same.

I don’t want people in my life, who can’t be happy for those who are healing.

I only want people with genuine hearts, with empathy and love for others.

So when someone exits my life….because I am not remaining in the same place they are…..

It actually is a gift to me.

fairy God