Still receiving messages about people wanting my Facebook page back.

I removed my Facebook page many months ago, for a few reasons.

I am still receiving messages about when it will be back and how people miss it. Which I understand and I know it did a lot of good, in terms of educating and validating complex trauma survivors. And quality info. But, due to poor Facebook rules, it also enabled a lot of very unhealthy, toxic behaviour too.

I’ve considered starting a closed Facebook group, which would promote greater safety and the capacity to remove people easily. Plus only those who are confirmed and accepted by me, would be able to see the info.

But, I remain decided not to do this, at this time.

I think if people truly want to see my work, they will choose to

Lessons about who you support on social media.

Last year, I was supporting a person who claimed to be a survivor of paedophile abuse. I had connected with this person on Twitter and blogged about this person and shared many posts. Those blog posts have now been deleted.

More recently, it has come to light this person may in fact be a paedophile. And there are many on Twitter, sharing info that is deeply concerning.

And I am aware of the lengths paedophiles will go to, to access vulnerable people. I am aware of the depths of manipulation they go to, to groom people and how they can very successful and how driven they are at this. It was odd to me, this person used to tweet to known paedophiles, albeit to apparently let them know, he was ‘on to’ them. I don’t know if any of the accusations are correct, but it is enough info, to make me know to stay well away.

This person, plus all those involved in the continual bickering and abusive posting continually going on based in the UK, have all been blocked from my Twitter. I have better boundaries now, than to be involved.

It has made me think about what I post and to be very wary of posting and sharing social media posts, about individual people, who I do not know. And therefore, do not have any real awareness of who they really are.

Facebook is harmful, many just don’t have insight to see this.

I see all the unhealthy aspects of Facebook, and how unaware people are about this. I refuse to allow myself to follow along with all the many issues it creates. Hence, why I am currently on a Facebook fast.

And I always feel better, when not indulging in compulsive behaviour. And not seeing all the many unwise behaviours, opinions and posts.

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/tayana-simons/seven-reasons-facebook_b_6709574.html

Interestingly, the wiser people in life I know, either don’t use Facebook at all, or rarely use it. That speaks volumes to me.

Taking a break from my personal Facebook.

I stopped using Facebook for quite a while, for various reasons and I enjoyed the long break. I started using it again a few months ago, only for personal friends and those currently in my life.

But, I feel a little break is needed, for several reasons. Which are not needed to be hashed out. We all need to do what’s best for our lives and I have learned that is necessary for me too. My friends will keep in contact by other means.

Social media, is a not an imperative need in life. Not mine, anyway. Not in my personal life. I want to live in real life.

Did not realise how many other social media platforms, my work is on. My posters are all over Pinterest.

I did not realise how many of my posters are all over Pinterest.

Most of them have not been cropped and altered, which is good, as they are my intellectual property, and have my Website name on them.

Link to 36 posters I wrote and created, I found within a few minutes, that I ‘re-pinned’ to my own Pinterest account.

(One of these posters is not mine, but found on google, and I have since created my own to attach to the PTSD Stress Cup Theory).

Glad my work is getting out there, further afield than I even realise.

I hope they help someone and lead people to my Website and Blog, which are supported and valued by many mental health professionals.

Quote today from Dr Cheryl Arutt http://www.drcherylarutt.com/ – who has confirmed she sends clients to my website and work “You do a lot of good”.

Social media is like a snake pit.

I’ve only ever spoken out about two pages on social media. Despite seeing a lot more bad/non genuine behaviour.

And both of these cases, there was a need to speak out and stand up for myself and others.

One was a man conning people, lying, many people came forward and stated how he had hurt them, his former admins apologised to me for joining in with his abusive actions. He now faces 7 charges of fraud, due to his faking cancer, PTSD, combat. I was absolutely correct about him.

Another is a page who has taken my work from my website used it and not given credit, passing it off as their own and used stolen posters that had been cropped to remove my page name etc. When I approached them, they refused to take down these stolen posters, and posted them again, as an act of defiance. I reported them to Facebook and FB confirmed they were violating FB as per intellectual property theft and removed the stolen work. Confirmation I was correct and within my rights to deal with this. Theft of intellectual property on the internet is a serious issue. It is no different to walking into a shop and stealing. Just because is easy to do it on social medial/the internet, doesn’t make it okay. Theft is theft.

In both of these cases, the actions of these people, I was then accused of, due to projections and people being unable to own their behaviour. Narcissistic people project their own behaviour and blame others, for what they have done and refuse to admit wrongdoing. They then enlist flying monkeys to do their dirty work for them, in their need for revenge and retaliation.

In both of these cases, I had every right to speak up and speak out and both led to considerable cyber bullying and harassment against me. People will believe the lies of others, and run with it. Without even asking me, what has happened.

Social media can be like dealing with a snake pit.

Doing well with clearer and healthier boundaries on social media.

When deciding to go back to being an admin of my Facebook community page, I knew I needed more self care, more boundaries and that I do not need to explain or justify that to anyone.

The internet is not a safe place and far too many people use social media as a way of venting their issues, and I am not there to be someone they can vent on.

So my new boundaries are…

– Any overt or covert trolling, is not tolerated.

– Any unnecessary complaining and criticism, are not tolerated.

– Any abusive remarks, including the passive aggressive and covert forms of behaviours, are not tolerated.

– Any minimizing of child abuse and complex trauma, are not tolerated.

– Any controlling and manipulative behaviours, are not tolerated.

– Any abusive, provoking behaviours, are not tolerated.

– Any projecting about issues that shame people, like forgiveness, are not tolerated.

So many people messaging, asking where my Facebook community page is.

I know my Facebook community page was really helpful and beneficial to so many and I received considerable ongoing feedback continually stating that. And I was always so thankful that anything I posted, or wrote helped people in any way. Knowing other people ‘really ‘ understand, is comforting to people, and my ability to write, in a relatable way, did comfort many.

I also know my capacity to work out how the trauma and PTSD affects us in deeper ways, really helped people to understand themselves and what happened to them, in ways they had never previously realised.

I wish I was in a place where I could handle the trolls and nasty people who choose to vent their issues upon anyone who writes something they don’t like.

But, I’m not in that place.

Until Facebook add a ‘read only’ function for pages, my page will remain down.

Due to the daily stress and anxiety of having to deal with unnecessary, abusive comments and trolls, I had to deal with on my page, I closed it a week ago. I don’t need, or deserve the added stress and anxiety it brings.

There are far too many people on the internet who feel absolutely entitled to be nasty, twist what you write, get abusive, make accusations, name call, vomit up their anger and darkness – onto others. Disordered and dysfunctional people – make social media their playgrounds for trolling and venting/projecting their own issues onto others.

After more than two years of this and some serious cyber bullying/abuse, I’m really fed up with such behaviours and worrying about these comments affecting other community members – who may be very fragile and possibly suicidal.

The internet is not a safe place. And I’ve noticed even celebrities are stating the same – for all social media platforms.

So until Facebook bring in a function to disable comments, I may not re-activate my page.

Which is a shame, because my page was the largest on Facebook dealing with complex trauma/Complex PTSD. It did help many and was a way of reaching more people, writing for those who are not trolls/abusive, and sharing blogs posts – that do help people.

But the cost, was too great.

I whinge about Facebook….. but it is free, and it can help many….. when used appropriately.

Facebook wants to force admins of pages to pay…… because they are greedy.

But…… Facebook is free and for that I am very thankful.

Most people who read my community page…… don’t in fact comment, because they don’t want it showing up in their friends newsfeeds, and I totally understand that.

Not everyone is an open book like me, and that is absolutely okay and many will have very valid reasons for this.

This post, reminds me of a percentage of the people, who are following my page.