Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Calling Jeremy Clarkson’s ‘choice’ to physical assault/abuse a ‘fracas’ = perfect example of society’s need to minimize abuse.

Due to Clarkson’s popularity, all his followers are of course minimizing and trivialising the abuse he made a choice to inflict on someone. And he has a history of abuse.

Many are even going as far as saying the victim deserved what he got.

Wow.

Calling him racist names, verbally abusing him for 20 minutes, and then punching him – over ‘food’ (reportedly) – is verbal and physical assault, abuse. And this should result in anyone getting sacked. Especially when they have a history of abusive behaviours.

But, society just loves to minimize and trivialise abuse – when they have selfish reasons to want to support, condone and encourage the abuser.

Classic example, all over social media, of statements being made of minimizing abuse.

As usual narcissistic/sociopathicpsychopathic abuse – minimized, trivialised, ignored, condoned.

It’s everywhere.

And this is one of the main reasons why abuse of every kind, is increasing.

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“Right wing religious beliefs, can often simply be infantile narcissism”

Why, because they choose to believe ‘I am special, because I believe I have been chosen and I am saved’.

This is an interesting concept and I have seen so much narcissism/sociopathy particularly within right wing church people and I’ve even stated many churches are breeding grounds for narcissists/sociopaths. And I stand by that belief.

Neuroscience proves right wing conservative views are linked with the dark triad traits and I see that very clearly – with the lack of empathy, lack of conscience, lack of remorse, lack of guilt. And their narcissistic belief they are ‘special’.

This is how they can Bible bash at people, and feel totally entitled to do so. Twist Bible verses, have selective Bible verse abuse. Hurt gay people. Suggest people will ‘go to hell’ for their sins. Wrongly deem mental health to be demon possession. It’s how they can hurt abuse victims, and protect abusers, and the Royal Commission has highlighted how prevalent that is.

These people don’t know God, don’t know Jesus.

They have simply crafted this fake Jesus, who is really Satan in disguise and they are totally hell-bent on their abusive destruction, all the while serving Satan and encouraging others to do the same.

I love God and I don’t think all churches are like this. There are good churches, and there are good church people.

But too many are not, and it offends my soul……. and as a Christian, it is meant to.

Christians, are not apathetic about this.

Christians, are not apathetic about evil.


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I don’t know what I am going to do, if I hear the words I don’t want to hear, in counselling today.

I am completely secure in my understanding…. that any ‘planned’ intent to harm others repeatedly, and justify it as okay, and enable and encourage it, and have no conscience and no remorse about that harm caused……. is sociopathic/psychopathic traits.

So, anyone who chooses physical punishment/discipline as a parenting strategy…….. and has no remorse about the physical pain – plus the emotional and psychological pain – they are inflicting…….. has sociopathic traits.

I do not think they are full blown sociopaths, or psychopaths……. but they have a level of traits – that is unacceptable to me and I cannot condone, ignore, excuse, or have that in my life.

Church people, can be the worst for condoning child abuse and I hate that. I hate that they harm children, I hate that they portray God as a sociopath/psychopath too.

I am aware, that people who lack empathy, lack conscience, lack remorse and enable abuse…… have darkness within them, that also means they are capable of other abuse and harm too.

So, now I have asked the question, as to whether my doctor/counsellor condones, enables, encourages child abuse/physical discipline …… I have to deal with the outcome of what the answer may be.

I’m aware some may say I am being judgmental, too hard on people, asking this question is inappropriate ….. blah blah blah…

No, that is not correct.

I ‘do’ need to know…………. and I do not think everyone who hits their children, is bad or evil……. they just have darkness in them….. that they often won’t accept, and prefer to condone……. and this lack of self insight and lack of empathy, conscience, remorse…… quite frankly, is something ‘I’ have integrity to know, is very wrong, is evil at work, and I cannot have that in my life.

I have to care about people with that darkness in them……. from a big distance.

I cannot …… and will not ……. condone child abuse. Of any kind.

And I don’t want to hear all the pathetic churchy justifications ……..  ‘as long as it’s done with no humiliation, and not done in anger’ blah blah blah…

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Having empathy….is the only way to help people.

I wrote a blog earlier about my husbands mental health issues and how they affect me and our children. Which very much is needed for me to understand and recognise.

The fact that his issues, affect our children….is not okay and therefore means this cannot be ignored. And the only reason I am tolerating his issues, is because we have children. If it were just me, we probably would no longer be together. I don’t believe in being a martyr to someone else’s issues and putting up with them ~ but having children, makes it different. Because he is their father and as my children, their needs do become paramount to mine.

I also know, the only way to help someone, is with empathy.

empathy

I sat down with him earlier, and calmly said to him that I think he is really unhappy, grumpy, moody, tired a lot – which considering he sleeps well – is an indication that something is not right. And he has been like this all of his life. Which he agreed is true. He agreed he has never been a joyful, happy, thankful type of person.

I said he needs to look after his health, and go to the doctor and see about getting blood works done to see if there are any underlying causes to poor health and also ask about being prescribed an anti-depressant.

I’ve done research and know that narcissists are often prescribed AD’s – because they do have underlying depression levels, which they then project the bad moods, tiredness, etc onto everyone else. And often behave in abusive ways, as a fix to seek something good to feel.

So, I’m hoping that AD’s may help him.

I know his issues are due to his own childhood – which may seem ‘normal’ – but in fact there were many issues of emotional neglect, and he was never taught empathy, compassion, thinking of others, doing things for others etc…because his parents lack this too. So genetically he is predisposed to having poor mental health issues. Continue reading


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It’s really hard being married to someone with high level narcissistic/sociopathic traits.

I’m all too aware (now) of my trauma/abuse induced self harming behaviours….and why I gravitated towards people who will not love me, not care about me and hurt me more.

I realise this has happened repeatedly in my life……and I am married to a man, who has a deficit of empathy, conscience, remorse and likes to wind people up, including me and his son. Of course, he will then claim ‘it was a joke’….as abusive people like to claim….you know…to make you feel even worse.

My husband has no awareness of needs outside of his own.

There are many behaviours that show his heart. Like sarcasm or others being hurt…being his only sense of humour. Any other sense of humour…he does not ‘get’. I will show him things I think are funny – appropriate humour – and there is not a flicker of finding it amusing.

A recent example of his complete selfishness – he’ll readily go to buy me alcohol & will jump quickly at doing this – even though I shouldn’t be drinking it – because he thinks he will get sex. And his needs are the only factor to him.

And his needs for sex are always above any consideration for others…..hence why he had several affairs in his first marriage and no remorse. And he even screwed his own uncle’s wife….and again – no remorse. (I didn’t know any of this until after we had my first child, because he didn’t tell me, he kept it a secret from me). Pure sociopathic traits…along with lying and devious behaviours….and no remorse, no conscience, no empathy, self control issues, self serving at any detrimental cost to others.

But, he’s not so keen on go to the shop to buy me anything else…….if it’s not to serve his needs. And if he does, it’s to make himself feel like he’s a great person….not for me, or my needs. Not for love.

When I tell him anything about my past……..no matter how terrible it is…..there is no empathy shown. In fact, he would far rather I didn’t share it. To him…’why does he need to know…if it’s not about him?’ He’s never been interested in anything about me……..unless it serves him. Continue reading