Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Interesting chat with some Christians today.

At the food bank I volunteer at, there is a mixed group of people, some of whom are Christians, some are church people.

Had a really interesting chat today with two volunteers about spiritual progression, the damage caused by right wing, fundamentalist, hard line, shame/big stick led churches. And it was interesting to talk with people who also recognise the damage, abuse, spiritual abuse this causes, and how far from Jesus this is. And know about spiritual progression and how most churches are stage 3 led, and contained within stage 3 progression and why. Continue reading

Interesting video about how many people, actually ‘need’ a different way to walk with other Christians.


I appreciate there are Christians who understand that the usual model of ‘Church’ – is not actually what many need and why and are providing a different model that suits the varying needs of many.

Many will be those who see past the usual church model, are not at ‘stage 3’ in their faith. Your average model of church suits stage 3 people – blindly following, no questions allowed, rules needy, ‘parent’ model of church where you are expected to follow along like a sheep, believe everything you are told and not question and ‘fit in’. And anything ‘different’ to that, is not ‘acceptable’.

Too many Christians, are led by fear and shame…stuck at stage 3 of spiritual faith development.

This is very clear and obvious to me.

Many Christians are led by fear that if they don’t act a certain way….they are being bad Christians and will be punished by God.

They also believe in too many other unhealthy people who claim to be Christians, like Joyce Meyer, Brian Houston – who are so clearly not Christians modelling Jesus, at all. And I am thankful to have had this validated in Christian counselling, by mature Christians, who do have wisdom.

Anyone who believes in these very ungodly TV evangelists, shows little spiritual discernment to me, or maturity in their faith. Putting them on pedestals and following them, is a path that takes you in completely the wrong direction, led by Satan.

And I am reminded of the stages of faith…..with most being stuck at stage 3…….not understanding there is more maturity to be found.

And we can see here, in this diagram…..that shame is a big factor in staying stuck at the immature stage of faith.



These fear and shame driven Church people, believe they will have their rewards in heaven for living their lives, based upon fear and shame driven behaviours.

They are shamed by this view of how we need to live, and often this means tolerating abusive behaviour from others and will find something from this, to justify why they ‘should’ be continuing this way.

Christianity has far too much unhealthy and abusive behaviour occurring within it and sadly this is also what is then modelled to the rest of the world.

God never expect us to be weak….tolerating abuse…..being martyrs……being hurt…..etc. Often they don’t have the courage or capacity to deal with it, in a more healthy way. And will assume anyone else with more maturity, must be wrong.

A lot of Christians will hide behind their version of what it is to be a Christian to ‘rationalise’ their behaviours…….these behaviours actually being motivated by fear, shame and lack of courage.

Which is sad.


Regarding Mark Driscoll being forced to resign & immature opinions, I must remember the stages of faith.


My previous counsellor, explained to me how my lack of understanding why so many church people think the way they do and why I felt like I was in high school, was due to this.

She identified me as going into stage 5, where most church people will remain at stage 3, all their lives. It was huge moment of clarity to see this.

And she explained how those at stage 3, don’t know anything more, so will reject anything outside of their own understanding, their own needs and what suits them and their earthly desires. Their rejection is their ego, even if they don’t see that.

There are also many church leaders, who will actively want stage 3 churches, as it is easier for flock control and they don’t get questioned, challenged etc. Continue reading