Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


1 Comment

Why is society so desperate to ignore Bill Cosby’s rape allegations…….lack of empathy & selfishness…

Ignoring Cosby’s accusers meant that we got to keep our happy childhood memories of the Cosby Show

These allegations are not new. Although more women have come forward publicly in recent weeks, the rape allegations against Cosby have been public knowledge for nearly a decade, since Andrea Constand filed a 2005 lawsuit alleging that Cosby had drugged and sexually assaulted her.

Thirteen other women were willing to testify in support of Constand’s suit, and tell their own stories of mistreatment by Cosby. And so, from the very beginning, this has not been Cosby’s word against his alleged victim’s, but rather his word against his alleged victim’s, plus another alleged victim’s, and another alleged victim’s, and another alleged victim’s, and another alleged victim’s, and another alleged victim’s, and another alleged victim’s, and another alleged victim’s, and another alleged victim’s, and another alleged victim’s, and another alleged victim’s, and another alleged victim’s, and another alleged victim’s, and another alleged victim’s.

But the women’s allegations never became major news. Cosby settled the suit, and no one talked about it much in the decade that followed. He remained a member in good standing of American public life. He spoke to audiences across the country about the importance of morality and good behavior, particularly among African Americans. He landed a Netflix special and a new NBC series, although the series has been dropped and the special “postponed” amid this week’s news.

Our fear of believing the victims

When the allegations re-surfaced this month, Cosby seemed to expect that they would be ignored once again. When NPR asked about them during an interview, Cosby fell silent and shook his head. Shortly thereafter, his lawyer released a terse statement saying that the women’s claims were “decade-old, discredited allegations” and that Cosby would not be commenting further. (The silence from the Cosby camp didn’t last long — his attorney has since released a statement calling Dickinson’s claims “a complete lie.”) It seems that this story is here to stay. But why did it take so long to become news?

Believing or even paying attention to the allegations against Cosby would have required us all to do work and make sacrifices, and we didn’t want to do that. Ignoring his accusers meant that we got to keep our happy childhood memories of the Cosby Show. Ignoring his accusers meant that we got to keep laughing at Cosby’s classic standup routines, which still hold up, even after all those years.  Ignoring his accusers meant that we got to keep Cosby as a powerful cultural figure.

Believing the accusers, or just entertaining the thought that they could be telling the truth, meant that we would have to come to terms with the knowledge that someone we accepted into our lives, someone whose art we loved, had the capacity to commit this evil act, over and over. We didn’t want to do that. So, for a long time, we didn’t — until comedian Hannibal Buress made the decision to come at the king, and did not miss. Continue reading


All psychologists/therapists/counsellors treating Complex PTSD…need to read this.

http://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/#!for-therapists-treating-complex-ptsd/chkc

This is important within the therapeutic relationship, with someone suffering Complex PTSD.

This is what builds trust.

This is what helps the inner child, to trust.

Without trust, without validation, without knowing the therapist understands the pain caused and expresses & models emotions about the abuse, about the abusers (including anger)…….which is what the sufferer has not received……the sufferer won’t engage.

These unmet needs, need to be met within the counselling/therapeutic relationship.