Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Rose coloured glasses – is not reality, honesty, or truth. It is cognitively distorted thinking.

Seeing life, people etc – through rose coloured glasses, is popular. I get it. It helps people avoid reality. And reality is often not pretty. Those rose coloured glasses – make it seem prettier.

It is a form of ‘rationalising’ and a distorted mindset, that prefers to avoid reality. Which then sadly, leads to further issues, that the non deeply thinking mind, does not wish to see.

Rose coloured glasses wearing, is a choice to ‘filter out’ what may be unpleasant.

It is how some people cope with life, but is not ever about truth and reality. Makes life nicer, but avoids reality, which is far harder to deal with and takes far more courage. Continue reading


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I’m no longer an idealist, not a pessimist or an optimist…. I am a realist.

My search and need for truth and rational thinking…. has led me down paths of idealism, pessimism, optimism and eventually to realism.

All the other three, have levels of distorted thinking, I can no longer accept, or tolerate. The other three, are often simply ways of coping, without dealing with reality. Reality is not pleasant in many ways, and people don’t like to accept it… about self, or others.

People often assume realists are pessimists. Usually the eternally optimistic, ever positive types ….. who avoid reality, to keep their lives comfortable.

I see the pitfalls in being positive all the time. It becomes a way to view the world through rose coloured glasses. Minimize suffering. Avoid…. the list of cognitive distortions goes on.

Pessimism, well that is simply more cognitive distortions.

Being a realist, is about having the courage, integrity and clear thinking required to deal with reality. Without the need to self soothe with distorted thinking to self serve and comfort self. Without the irrational belief that everything will be okay as long as I keep being positive. No, not everything will be okay. That’s reality. Continue reading


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I will live in the truth of my life.

I intend remaining in the truth of my life. I have no choice, I am unable to live any other way. Once your eyes are opened and the truth is revealed, there is no going back.

I know what was done to me in the past. I know the intentionality of the abuse, by the abusers. I know they knew it was wrong and did it anyway.

I will not allow anyone to erode that truth.

I will not allow anyone to force their opinions about how I ‘should’ feel about these abusers, or any abusers.

I will not allow anyone try to make me feel I am not good enough, for thinking and feeling the way I do.

I will not allow anyone to shame me with their opinions.

I will not allow anyone minimize what I have endured.

I will not allow anyone to minimize all the emotions I have, rightfully so, after all I have endured.

I will not allow anyone to invalidate my suffering, pain and grieving.

At the same time, I will not allow this truth and these emotions to stop me living my life and finding joy and increasing peace, I am striving for.

I will and do validate all the good, all the joyful, all the wonderful in my life and know this exists and I value, embrace and live for this.

I will live in my truth that life is and can be horrendous and wonderful, all at the same time. Continue reading


I tell the truth about child sexual abuse. If you prefer things sugar coated, go to the bakery.

Most people don’t want to know the truth. Many reasons.

I don’t sugar coat anything about abuse anymore.

I don’t view life through ‘rose coloured glasses’ or avoid, or minimize, deny, or all the many things, so many people choose.

My commitment to truth, reality and honesty, is my journey.

not sugar coated


Some views and opinons peddled in society, are anything but wise or enlightened.

sad child

So many views peddled in society… are nothing more than lies and cognitive distortions.

They aim to take people away from the truth. Or even if that is not the intentional aim, it is the reality.

Suffering occurs, because people choose to harm others.

That is not for any ‘good reason’.

That is not to ‘teach someone needed lessons’.

That is not ‘where they are meant to be’.

That is not ‘to make you stronger’.

That is not what God wants, ever.

All these lies, are so unwise, and yet are peddled as being enlightened and they are anything but. Continue reading


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No, I am not ‘rationalising’ being ‘thankful’ to my abusers.

There are popular quotes that travel social media world

‘I am thankful to those who harmed me, for teaching me how not to be/making me stronger’..

Or statements to that effect. There are a few different ones. Basically all ‘thanking abusers’.

I see these rationalising posts all the time.

I am so far past these lies people feed others, or feed themselves.

No, I am not thankful to my abusers, because that is thanking evil.

No, I am not thankful they taught me how ‘not to be’ by having to endure/witness/learn their abusive ways and wanting to be different. I would much rather I had been taught how to be, by good role models, and been taught goodness via empathy and compassion. Continue reading


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Most people don’t have the courage to have integrity to be honest, all the time.

honesty

Honesty, and the capacity to be honest all the time, even under difficult situations, and situations where in the wrong, are not common.

Honesty is a virtue I truly treasure in people, because it is necessary, to be able to trust someone.

If you know someone lies, or distorts the truth, or gaslights, or fails to take ownership of their issues, wrongs……. then you can’t trust them. It is as simple as that.

All those covert behaviours – lying, lying by omission, telling half truths, gas lighting, manipulating the truth, failing to take ownership…. are narcissism, and I will spot these behaviours in people.

And I actually wish I didn’t spot this all the time. Because I see them often and it leads to a lack of trust and an awareness, this person is selfishly self motivated, and lacks the capacity for integrity and honesty.

It takes courage and the willingness to put someone’s else’s needs first, and inner strength, to be a really honest person.

And I know that the capacity for integrity to honesty, also creates negativity from others in their responses, as they do not want to deal in truth and reality.

I think it is really sad, that this quote, is true.

Continue reading


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The healthier I become, the more rejection & grief I will receive from dysfunctional people…

I have already noticed this.

I’ve noticed that many pages, whether they be about abuse, about mental health, about ‘positive’ thinking, the self professed guru types …. etc…. run by unhealthy, dysfunctional people……… they receive a lot of support.

Which is actually really sad.

I see clearly how the majority of society – is so unhealthy – and so will veer towards the unhealthy stuff like;

‘Wanting karma’ – revenge is sweet/good crowd’ ….. or

‘Being a bitch is fine…… speak your mind – no matter how much it hurts anyone – crowd’ ……. or

‘Be proud of your dysfunctional mental health – but not want/choose to heal, grow, mature – crowd’……. or

‘You are freakin’ amazing, awesome, perfect, never change’ – ego tripping crowd’ …. or

‘Lets be really un-empathic and shitty and tell people ‘you are acting the victim, stop being a drama queen!’ – crowd’…. or

‘I have a big fat ego and I think I am a god, guru and I will put myself up on my own pedestal – crowd’…. or

‘I will tell people what they ‘want’ to hear……. to make money out of people’ – crowd…

There are more…… many more…. and combinations of these…….

All of which is dysfunction….. unhealthy…….. and not remotely wise.

But it appeals to so many.

And whilst I have empathy for all of this…… and completely see the poor mental health within it all……. and see how unhealthy and dysfunctional it all is……. and how it is promoting society to be unhealthy….. and don’t want this for anyone…. because I want better for this for everyone….

I accept it is not my responsibility….. to deal with it all.

So, I am systematically un-liking all these pages – that promote anything unhealthy and dysfunctional.

Because quite frankly, I don’t want to see it, and see all the unwise rubbish and dysfunction they are enabling, condoning and increasing.

I will just do what I do, put out there what I can, balance my life as I do far more now…… and know that…

“Wisdom & Truth

are never as appealing

as Dysfunction & Lies”

….. and accept that is what people are choosing and that is their issues to deal with..

But, be secure in myself & my integrity, that I will not be someone who condones, enables and encourages dysfunction, and lies.