Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Living an authentic life with integrity to your values and beliefs, is interesting.

This week has been an interesting week. Emotionally draining for several reasons, all valid.

It’s also been a week, of seeing how different I am to many around me.

My social media has been flooded with Halloween and Melbourne Cup (horse racing) posts. I don’t celebrate either.

I have made choices to not indulge in horse racing, because I know the horses are treated badly (I’ve watched the documentaries and I see them being whipped). I don’t believe in horses being treated the way they are, for human pleasure, when it is not a requirement to live well. I also do not believe gambling is healthy, and I don’t wish to participate in that, or support the gambling industry. And I actually don’t understand how people can claim to be animal lovers, and indulge in horse racing. Continue reading


Why I am still glad I use a pen name…… and it’s not for my benefit.

When I decided to start sharing details of my past on line, I thought about whether to use my real name, or keep my anonymity. I decided for two main reasons to use a pen name…

~ I still had fear of past abusers contacting me. I don’t have that fear anymore. I don’t allow them that control over me anymore.

~ I didn’t want family members names and identities being revealed, because their lives and what they endured, is not my story to tell.

I’m still glad I use a pen name, and for the latter of these two reasons above.

I’ve just been watching Dr Phil with a woman who wrote a tell all book about her childhood and abusive mother, also detailing abuse that occurred to her siblings. The siblings feel this book has destroyed their life and their childhood experiences were not hers to tell. And one of them was much younger and is in denial of his mothers abuse and I see similarities with my siblings, who are also in denial, weren’t there, or too young to witness much of my childhood. So they don’t in fact have any right to deny my experiences, but they do so from a place of selfishness.

As much as I will never have contact with my siblings, and their hatred of me for discussing my life here and on my page, I will never ‘out’ them on social media, in this blog, or in a book. Even by association. Because even if I didn’t mention their names, using my own would link them to them.

I have compassion and empathy and a sense of doing what is right for them, as well as myself. And I have healthy boundaries. Continue reading