Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Getting on with writing my contribution, for an authors book about narcissistic abuse.

I’ve been invited to contribute to a best selling authors book, and I feel so honoured. So, must get on with writing it.

Hopefully, it will be a worthwhile piece of writing, that will help others.

ūüôā


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Decided on a layout/plan for my book.

I realise I cannot simply pull a load of blogs from this blog site, and shove them in a book. So, I have decided on writing chapters for each main section of my healing journey over the last 4 years, starting at my ‘breakdown’ which was actually my ‘breakthrough’ (after decades of suppression/avoidance etc).

Then each¬†chapter will have a section written, plus accompanying blog posts as diary entries, with relevant poems and quotes I have written. I’ve written over 700 quotes, and over 40 poems, so I have many to choose.

So, hopefully that will flow well and make sense to readers.

I’m concentrating on the first 3 chapters Continue reading


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Invited to be a contributor 4 a top selling author’s new book! :)

So very honoured, to be invited to write a contributing piece for a new book being written, by a top selling author I support.

This authors 1st book, was a top selling amazon book and her next book will be just as vital and successful as the first, I am sure.

The author has also very kindly requested she add my Website/Blog details – as reference for others, into her new book.

I am so very thankful, a little shocked and very excited about this opportunity! ūüėÄ

I have been asked to be a guest blogger and contribute Continue reading


Received another kind request, to become an ‘expert blogger’ on a website.

This morning, I received an email inviting me to become an expert blogger, on a website, with other experts – most of whom are professionals.

It is very validating to know others consider me and this blog – which I realise is a success by it’s stats – worth¬† considering an expert and all the many requests I have received to become a blogger for others. Continue reading


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Might start doing online grammar/writing courses, as I am putting my book together.

I realise my grammar is not of professional writing standard and I would like to work on that, especially if I am to publish my book.

So now I have more spare time, due to not¬†being online as much, I would like to do something educational.¬†Not overwhelming, or challenging … because I am not capable of that right now.

So some of the free online grammar courses available, might be useful. To both improve my writing ability, plus keep me occupied and mindful of something other than all the horrible crap in my life/past.

Can’t hurt.


Over 37,000 views on this blog in last 6 weeks, despite cutting way back….

Over the last few months, I have cut way back on the time I spend on my social media accounts. And my social media accounts are where a chunk of my blog views occur. So I had anticipated my blog views would drop considerably.

But, I also have many blog views from worldwide internet searches on related topics too, showing my blog posts come up high in internet search results.

I also have views for this blog via my high traffic Website.

It is bizarre to me still, how many read my blog posts and knowing people from so many countries are sitting reading my stuff, every day.

It’s¬†feel surreal. Especially considering the¬†unpleasant nature¬†of the content of my blog.

It’s not like I blog about cooking, or being a health fanatic, or fashion, or how to be a success, or how to make lots of money, or those ever popular ‘happiness is the be-all-and-end-all of everything’ topics…. many people enjoy and are very popular.

I write about topics that are largely ignored, are taboo¬†and avoided by the general population – abuse, child abuse, sexual abuse, mental health, suicide, self harm, abusive people, types of abuse¬†etc…..¬†Not pleasant topics.

But, it does show how the stuff I write about…….there is a need for.

I cannot deny the level of views this blog has, or minimize what that means.


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It’s not ‘how well you write’ – it’s ‘what you write about’ that matters…as per Huffington Post/Elephant Journal Writer

Some of the most honest, raw pieces I’ve ever written contain not a single punctuation mark and have spelling errors that would make any elementary school teacher slap me with her ruler. It doesn’t matter.

Why? Because the heart doesn’t give a shit when it has something brilliant to say, and neither does the person reading it whose heart bursts wide open because they just heard the truth. ~Rebecca

Rebecca Lammerson, is a successful writer and blogger at Huffpost & Elephant Journal……..expressing exactly what I also believe.

I couldn’t care less whether something I read has perfect grammar and follows the ‘rules’ of all those¬†‘authors’ obsessed with their grandiose beliefs all ‘perfecting their craft’….*rolls eyes…

I personally care only about the content –¬†does this help people, does it make a¬†difference, does it¬†encourage people to think, does it help society move away from unhealthy focusses, does it help people grow, mature??? etc.

How many ‘well written’ books¬†are being pumped out, that actually contribute very little to society??? Many.

How many ‘well written’ books,¬†lack any depth of content and are written to make money??? Many.

How many books are written – not particularly well – but the content makes a difference??? Many.

I would rather read the last category.

In fact, I do not waste my time on the first two anymore.

I don’t read well written rubbish.

I grew up.


I have declined many invites for guest blogging, writing, speaking etc.

Since this blog and my website became very popular over the last 12 months……I have received countless kind invites for guest blogging, writing, participation in projects, public inspirational speaking events etc.

I’ve received another request and need to decline. I feel very thankful, but I truly know I am not ready as I am still in my own journey, still with much healing yet to process.

I’m aware my capacity for honesty and rawness in sharing my journey, insight into my journey….are not common and seen as inspirational…..along with my¬†motivation to validate, support and educate others in their journey.

I’m very aware I need professional education and training and until I have that, I don’t want to share anything in any manner for others to view as anything other than my own journey.

I see other untrained and non professional people giving inadequate and irresponsible advice and that concerns me greatly. Mental health and trauma are not fields for untrained people.

And I don’t put myself forward as a professional/trained person…my Website clearly states that.

I am, however, very thankful when people do consider me as someone inspirational.


Increasingly interested in Beat Poetry.

http://www.rooknet.net/beatpage/writers/ferlinghetti.html

Seascape With Sun and Eagle   ( Top of Page )

Freer
than most birds
an eagle flies up
over San Francisco
freer than most places
soars high up
floats and glides high up
in the still
open spaces

flown from the mountains
floated down
far over ocean
where the sunset has begun
a mirror of itself

He sails high over
turning and turning
where seaplanes might turn
where warplanes might burn
Continue reading