I am very aware of how blessed I am, in having a counsellor and doctor, who are not only very professional and experienced in trauma, but are also strong Godly women.
Having their full support, guidance and in-depth knowledge of trauma and it’s affects, plus them both being Godly women, is exactly the professional support I need. Praise God!
They are strong Godly women, who do not have the incorrect view many Christians do of mental health. When they talk to me, I know they ‘know’ me, which is not something I have ever experienced before. They know my past, the affect it has had, and why I react the way I do, why my discernment skills are accurate, know how much my faith is increasing and strengthening and how I trust God’s plan for me, even if I am not ever healed fully, whilst on Earth.
My knowledge that I may never be fully healed completely, is not my pessimistic attitude, or ‘victim’ mentality, it is knowing that God does not always heal Christians even when prayers for that are requested. Christians still die young of life threatening illnesses like cancer. I understand fully, that we cannot possibly understand a God that is as awesome as He is, or why He doesn’t always heal people. And He may not heal me entirely. If He does that’s good, if He doesn’t that’s good too. Whatever He chooses, is good.
I trust His plan for me and I know I am promised an eternity with Him. My salvation is my biggest gift, one I know that whilst many argue whether we ‘deserve’ it or not, is one that displays 100% on the cross, how deeply loved we are.
My prayer and hope, is not for what ‘I’ think I need, but for His will to be done, through me.
I want to continue to be led by the Holy Spirit, holding hands with Jesus and fight Satan in the ongoing spiritual battle I know exists, because I can feel it. I see it in others, I have insight into others, they often can’t even see in themselves and I have considerable insight into myself. A gift that needs to be carefully nurtured, not boasted about, or used inappropriately.
I know I am being led to find a new Church led by strong, Godly people, to the place I will be encouraged, supported and where I feel safe and can trust the leadership.
Having Godly women to support me in this, having their encouragement and validating my thoughts and entire journey, is important to me, when virtually everyone in my life, has invalidated me, invalidated my pain and ignored what I need and not understood me. I am a complex person. I am unusual, which again is not a boast, but is a fact. I have felt it all my life and now I know why.
God provided these women in my life, for huge reasons, and I know I was indeed God led to them, when hearing today, of the timing of things that had been occurring in my doctors life, immediately prior to the date I first phoned her for an appointment. The timing being really crucial and ‘perfect’ and for that I am truly thankful for, blessed greatly. It was another ‘wow’ moment to realise how God’s timing is always perfect.
I listen intently and take every word they say and reflect on it, remember it, because I know when I need to listen and take note. Again, Holy Spirit led.
I am truly blessed and may I never forget this.
Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD 
June 3, 2013 at 1:17 pm
He will never leave you comfortless. I feel the same way about whether in this life or the life hereafter, His promises are sure. His loves His Children. I do not know if you have looked into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I have found much comfort and supprt in the Gospel and in the Church family.
June 4, 2013 at 2:10 am
Thank you for your recommendation. I believe finding the right Church family is really important and I do trust we will be led where we need to be. It’s exciting 🙂
June 4, 2013 at 3:35 am
🙂