My Inner Child Is Grieving – So I Bought Her This Cute Ballerina Unicorn ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Lilly Hope Lucario (@healingcomplextraumaptsd)

 

My inner child – is grieving.

My mother died and I recently realised I had to stop seeing my counsellor as a mother figure.

My mother dying has brought up a lot of horrible memories and emotions.

My inner child is having a very time over the stuff with my counsellor.

I feel like the 46 year old me – who is now grieving my entire life – is over everything and just wants to shut down and deal with everything alone.

And the inner child in me is desperately crying nooooooooooo….. don’t take away the only person who has acted in any way like a mother to me. I know my inner child wants to cling onto my counsellor with all her strength and might.

It’s all very confusing. And emotional. And painful.

It’s interesting – whenever I post about inner child healing, it always makes a powerful difference for others. Which is good. I know I risk ridicule and judgment when I post about having a terribly hurt inner child and buying soft toys etc. But, I share that very vulnerable part of me, because I know others feel the same pain and confusion I do. And when people see me doing my inner child stuff – it allows them to do the same with no fear of judgment from me.

I’ve only had my Instagram 2 months and I already have over 2000 followers, so I was unsure of the reaction I would receive about posting this pic of my unicorn. But, it received a really good reaction and in fact is the post with the most amount of comments.

It has a similar reaction on Twitter – with some people also feeling safe to post pics of their soft/plush toys that helps them.

I’m brave enough to post about my vulnerability, if it helps others.

Pictures from my healing garden ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

My garden is my space for tranquillity and healing. I find surrounding myself with beauty – helps lift my mood and gives me something healthy to focus on.

I truly cherish the time I spend alone in my gardens. It has been a space for inner child healing, for something to focus on for the future, and just a haven of safety.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

All photos are subject to © Copyright Protected

 

Unmet Childhood Needs, Don’t Just Go Away ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I found inner child healing helped me to meet many of my unmet childhood needs.

My therapy is also where some of these needs are met. I am aware of transference and how normal this is, in therapy for healing childhood complex trauma.

I have info about inner child healing on my Website

@ http://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/inner-child-healing

Gardening therapy, is part of my self care :)

Garden pics :)

The journey of self discovery, takes courage.

It takes courage, inner strength, deep honesty, a willingness to be wrong, have humility and lose the ego.

It’s not an easy journey. It’s not the easy road. It’s the road less travelled.

But, a necessary one to grow and mature and develop wisdom.

I believe it is also necessary, to truly heal complex trauma. As self insight is needed, to know how the wounds have harmed us, to know how

My love of gardening & photographing it all, keep me sane.

Gardening is a very grounding experience. Gardening helps me stay mindful and helps me get out of my head and emotions. Even if for only a few minutes a day.

When my life becomes too overwhelming, gardening seems to be the only thing that keeps me sane. And I love to photograph my growing plants and cutesy garden décor.

There is a lot of the many facets of my personality and processing within my healing journey, expressed within my gardening. Photographing it all, helps me further with mindfulness and something that can bring me joy, and hope for the future.

I would love to be able to photograph my children and my gardens well, by doing a photography course. For now though, my phone camera, is good enough.

If I’m going to do this Inner Child Healing……I’m gonna give it my all…

Today, I went to the shops to buy my son some new texta pens, as his are all running out.

So, I decided to buy myself, a girly pencil case, as well as some texta pens for me and some for my 5 year old son. I bought a few girly colouring books of Fairies and Rapunzel and a few cute craft things to make with my son.

My son is very ‘crafty’ at the moment and loves writing, drawing and colouring in too and I am encouraging this.

A few weeks ago, I bought some plain cardboard house cut outs (I love the craft shop Riot), with opening doors, and my son I enjoyed drawing and colouring different designs onto them. His are very boy like, very 5 year old, with lots of solid colours, basic windows, as you would expect from a young child. Mine are cute and girly, with pretty curtains, and a teddy bear in the window, butterflies on the walls, birds on the roof and flowers growing up the walls.