Talking About The Heinous Abuse Caused By People With Personality Disorders – Is Not Increasing Mental Illness Stigma ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

 

Talking about the abuse, suffering and harm caused by people with personality disorders – is NOT increasing ‘mental illness stigma’.

Do not dare to try to silence abuse survivors as this is more abuse.

Personality disorders are not an excuse to abuse people.

I do not promote hate, revenge or retaliation – but I do promote the truth about how heinous their abuse is to endure.

Many victims kill themselves due to their heinous abuse. And some victims are killed by these personality disordered people.

The abuse must be discussed.

And info about these people so victims won’t be targeted again.

Now An ‘Official The Mighty Contributor’ ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

My article was accepted, published and I was asked to be an ‘Official The Mighty Contributor”.

Which is great and I am so thankful for – as this raises more awareness about Complex Trauma, Complex PTSD, PTSD, abuse and child abuse.

https://themighty.com/2017/08/life-impacting-symptoms-of-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/

 

30 Helpful Things To Say To Someone With Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Often people don’t know what to say to someone with Complex PTSD. As a result some say things that are harmful, invalidating and hurtful. Often unintentionally. Some avoid us, either because they don’t know what to say, or because they don’t want to deal with our pain. Some suggest we should be over this, or shame us for talking about past trauma. That increases the isolation and shame survivors often feel.

I could write an entire article on the things people have said to me, that were completely inappropriate and very hurtful. Being someone who suffers suicide ideation and suicidal thoughts, I am aware of the life threatening result of being victim shamed, invalidated and being further traumatised by other people.

So, this article is a list of things survivors of complex trauma, who have Complex PTSD, feel are helpful. It is my hope this leads to more productive and helpful interactions and support.

I asked my online Facebook community, and these were some of their responses.

I can now call my abusers anything I want.

Now I don’t have to care if I say the ‘wrong thing’ in counselling, I am free to call the abuse what it was – evil.

And the abuser – evil.

And a narcissist. Or sociopath. Or psychopath. Or paedophile. Or sex offender. Or whatever else I want to call them.

There is a greater level of freedom, when you don’t feel like you have to please your counsellor, who always minimized and invalidated everything I endured.  And always made me feel like a bad person, for talking about abusers in a ‘bad’ way.

Now I can say anything I want and not risk the patronising tone, the invalidating attitudes, the loaded silences, the obvious displeasure – when I didn’t say what was expected.

I’ve endured major anxiety for 5 years, about supposedly calling them the ‘wrong thing’ – because to her ‘that’ was the priority. Not the decades of abuse. To her the terrible thing, was me labelling them wrongly.

I’m Glad To Have Finally Decided To Create An Ebook – I Can Promote Via All My Platforms ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I have deliberated over how to publish my book and I’ve settled on an PDF ebook, I can promote via all my social media, this Blog and my Website.

I considered doing it via Amazon, and I see the advantages of it being promoted on a big audience, but I also see the drawbacks other authors have encountered, of dealing with reviews, dealing with trolls leaving bad reviews, when they haven’t even read the book.

I haven’t got time to deal with that crap. I don’t have the time or the motivation, to deal with negative stuff. And I don’t need my book to become a ‘best seller’ – I just want it to reach the people who need it. I just want to know it made a difference for people. And I could always re-publish it again in the future.

My Website has a lot of traffic and I could pay to have the SEO etc increased.

This Blog – has a of traffic.

And that is all enough for me. I know the book will reach those who need it.

SOOOOO glad I have finally made this decision.

Dissociation – One Of The Key Symptoms Of Complex PTSD ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Complex trauma – is ongoing interpersonal trauma within a captivity situation, where the victim perceives there to be no viable escape. Examples are ongoing child abuse, sexual exploitation into pornography/prostitution, severe domestic violence.

Dissociation is a severe

but normal reaction,

to severe and abnormal

life experiences.

When a person is experiencing ongoing severe abuse, the brain can develop various forms of dissociation, to cope with these abnormal life experiences. It is a very adaptable form of coping, and one that many survivors are thankful to have developed, to cope.

Dissociation is on a continuum, which can range from ‘zoning out’, frequent daydreaming, through to disorders that impact the survivor on a daily basis, such as Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Dissociation continues even after the survivor no longer is experiencing the severe trauma. When life impacting – it is advisable to seek experienced trauma therapy, with someone adequately trained to help survivors with Complex PTSD and Dissociative Disorders.

April Is #childabusepreventionmonth & #sexualassaultawarenessmonth

Being a survivor of both of these – I support both and continue raising awareness, appealing for empathy and providing quality information.

People seem so shocked when paedophiles/child sex offenders – seem so ‘normal’ & ‘nice’. I’m not.

Ben McCormack and news of his child sex offender crimes, are all over the internet. And how these crimes have been going on for at least 2 years.

What strikes me as so dangerous – is how many people are shocked, because he seems so ‘normal’ and so ‘nice’ – to so many people. People are reporting how shocked they are that this man is not the image he projected.

https://au.news.yahoo.com/nsw/a/34966632/disgraced-aca-reporter-ben-mccormack-chatted-exchanged-lewd-pictures-with-another-man-for-two-years-police-will-allege/#page1

I’m aware that because I grew in a home that encouraged and orchestrated child sexual abuse, I know these people exist. And I know how manipulative and skilled they are – at hiding who they really are. They do often appear very normal. And very nice. But, they are not normal. Or nice. They are like sociopaths – who know what they are doing is wrong, and they plan their abuse and do it over long periods of time. And they have no remorse, no empathy, no conscience.

Apparently this heinous human being is now in hospital after being exposed for who he really is. Tough. He wasn’t thinking about the harm his planned and intentional abuse crimes were having on the victims.

Often these predators can feign remorse when caught out. But, believe me – this is simply an act because they have been caught. They fake remorse, fake being ‘cured’ to get lenient jail time. They will even act like the victim, if needed. And so many people fall for it. Including mental health professionals and those involved in the prison/legal system. I’m sure many paedophiles who repeat offended after jail time…….. lied and said they would never do it again. But, they do.

I’m glad this vile person has been caught and exposed. I have no sympathy for people who intentionally cause harm – especially when the harm is children and even more so – when it is child sexual abuse.

Ben McCormack – Arrested For Child Pornography Crimes, And No-one Cares About The Children Being Abused

Ben McCormack – a reporter on A Current Affair – here in Australia, has been charged with child pornography crimes, including distributing child pornography and conversations involving child sexual abuse.

See this link for details http://www.msn.com/en-au/news/australia/a-current-affair-reporter-ben-mccormack-charged-with-sending-child-pornography-material/ar-BBzsUvV?li=AAgfYrC&ocid=U206DHP

Social media is rife with this news. People are talking about what scumbag he is. People are laughing at the hypocrisy of him being someone who chases people down the road about lesser crimes reported by A Current Affair (ACA). People are scorning the ACA program, and the main host of the program. People are suggesting maybe people should wait and hear the facts before commenting. Some are even suggesting maybe he was accessing child pornography for a case he is working on for ACA. And meanwhile, the reports being made, are making it very clear that these charges are not in any way linked to ACA or Channel 9, who broadcast the show.

And amongst the hundreds of comments I have scrolled through via the social media reporting, something struck me as really wrong. And a true representation of where society is, in relation to caring about children….

Not one single comment mentioned any concern for the children being sexually abused in this case.

Not one.

No-one cares about the children involved in this child pornography case. No-one bothers to sit and think ‘oh my God, those poor children’. That was my first thought.

It’s always ‘all about the adults’. It’s always ‘all about’ the paedophile/child sex offender, and not the children they harm. Plenty of people will comment about their opinions on child sex offenders. Some people even go as far as to say that child pornography is better than actually physically sexually abusing a child. Some people will defend the offender. Yet, few ever stop and think about the children.