Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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People seem so shocked when paedophiles/child sex offenders – seem so ‘normal’ & ‘nice’. I’m not.

Ben McCormack and news of his child sex offender crimes, are all over the internet. And how these crimes have been going on for at least 2 years.

What strikes me as so dangerous – is how many people are shocked, because he seems so ‘normal’ and so ‘nice’ – to so many people. People are reporting how shocked they are that this man is not the image he projected.

https://au.news.yahoo.com/nsw/a/34966632/disgraced-aca-reporter-ben-mccormack-chatted-exchanged-lewd-pictures-with-another-man-for-two-years-police-will-allege/#page1

I’m aware that because I grew in a home that encouraged and orchestrated child sexual abuse, I know these people exist. And I know how manipulative and skilled they are – at hiding who they really are. They do often appear very normal. And very nice. But, they are not normal. Or nice. They are like sociopaths – who know what they are doing is wrong, and they plan their abuse and do it over long periods of time. And they have no remorse, no empathy, no conscience.

Apparently this heinous human being is now in hospital after being exposed for who he really is. Tough. He wasn’t thinking about the harm his planned and intentional abuse crimes were having on the victims.

Often these predators can feign remorse when caught out. But, believe me – this is simply an act because they have been caught. They fake remorse, fake being ‘cured’ to get lenient jail time. They will even act like the victim, if needed. And so many people fall for it. Including mental health professionals and those involved in the prison/legal system. I’m sure many paedophiles who repeat offended after jail time…….. lied and said they would never do it again. But, they do.

I’m glad this vile person has been caught and exposed. I have no sympathy for people who intentionally cause harm – especially when the harm is children and even more so – when it is child sexual abuse. Continue reading


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Ben McCormack – Arrested For Child Pornography Crimes, And No-one Cares About The Children Being Abused

Ben McCormack – a reporter on A Current Affair – here in Australia, has been charged with child pornography crimes, including distributing child pornography and conversations involving child sexual abuse.

See this link for details http://www.msn.com/en-au/news/australia/a-current-affair-reporter-ben-mccormack-charged-with-sending-child-pornography-material/ar-BBzsUvV?li=AAgfYrC&ocid=U206DHP

Social media is rife with this news. People are talking about what scumbag he is. People are laughing at the hypocrisy of him being someone who chases people down the road about lesser crimes reported by A Current Affair (ACA). People are scorning the ACA program, and the main host of the program. People are suggesting maybe people should wait and hear the facts before commenting. Some are even suggesting maybe he was accessing child pornography for a case he is working on for ACA. And meanwhile, the reports being made, are making it very clear that these charges are not in any way linked to ACA or Channel 9, who broadcast the show.

And amongst the hundreds of comments I have scrolled through via the social media reporting, something struck me as really wrong. And a true representation of where society is, in relation to caring about children….

Not one single comment mentioned any concern for the children being sexually abused in this case.

Not one.

No-one cares about the children involved in this child pornography case. No-one bothers to sit and think ‘oh my God, those poor children’. That was my first thought.

It’s always ‘all about the adults’. It’s always ‘all about’ the paedophile/child sex offender, and not the children they harm. Plenty of people will comment about their opinions on child sex offenders. Some people even go as far as to say that child pornography is better than actually physically sexually abusing a child. Some people will defend the offender. Yet, few ever stop and think about the children. Continue reading


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The 7 Areas Of Symptoms & Behavioural Characteristics Due To Childhood Complex Trauma

The following is from http://www.aaets.org/article174.htm and is accredited to work by experts in the field, who’s work I follow, such as Bessel van der Kolk and John Briere.


Psychological trauma in early childhood can have a tremendous negative impact as it can distort the infant, toddler or young child’s social, emotional, neurological, physical and sensory development. This is especially true of young children who have experienced multiple and/or chronic, adverse interpersonal traumatic events through the child’s care giving system. Experts in the traumatic stress field such as J. Briere, J. Spinazzola and B.S. van der Kolk have developed the term “complex trauma” to identify this form of trauma.                                   

The symptoms and behavioral characteristics of complex trauma have been categorized into seven domains: Continue reading


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If you make jokes about paedophiles & child sexual abuse – you are sick and heinous ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Rolf Harris is court again, for more of his victims coming forward and stating he abused them. It’s bad enough that so many people defend him, and so many people ‘feel sorry’ for him because he is old.

But, today I read comments where people are making jokes about child sexual abuse and paedophiles.

How fucking sick is that. I despise people who can turn such heinous and abhorrent abuse and make jokes about it.

There is nothing funny or humorous in being sexually abused by a paedophile. And anyone who thinks its funny – is as sick and abhorrent as the paedophiles are.

I don’t want to live in a world with paedophile apologists, and rape apologists. Where people protect paedophiles, makes excuses for them and blame the victims, or say the victims are lying.

My mind always goes straight to thinking about the victims, and what they must be feeling when they see all these heinous comments.

It is disgusting to me, that the people who make these vile statements – choose not to consider how their words will affect the victims. They have no empathy or compassion for the victims at all. And no remorse at the harm they cause. And no regard for the victims’ suffering due to their cruel jokes. Continue reading


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The dark side of child sexual abuse/exploitation, within the photography world ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I am in the processing of learning as much as I can about photography, with the hope of becoming a photographer in the future.

I am someone who researches and reads up on anything important to me.

So far, most of what I have come across has been good, healthy, positive stuff. But, sadly the dark side of life, infiltrates every area of life.

dark-side-of-photography

I have come across ‘photographers’ defending naked photos of children being posted on social media, or websites. And their aggressive defending of this, and the name calling and nastiness that results if you have different opinion, are red flags for me. Any over-reaction tends to flag as suspicious to me.

A photographer has been recently arrested where I live, for raping children, using photographs for child pornography and exploitation. 79 offences he has been charged with. He currently is remanded in prison until his court hearing. What a heinous, sick piece of shit he is. I would like to see him locked up for the rest of his life. But, he’ll probably get some pathetic short sentence. And this is probably not an isolated incident.

It is obvious to me – that the photography industry/crowd – attracts these heinous people. Especially for the paedophile underground internet industry, where millions of naked and sexualised photos of children, are shared.

Whilst giving my rational opinion on how we should not be posting naked photos of children online, the aggressiveness of some men, was truly concerning. One of these men also linked a female photographer, who is famous in the photography scene – for taking photos of children (including her own) where they are completely naked. With everything on display for all to see. It made me feel sick. Truly a paedophiles delight. Her work is so wrong, on so many levels. And these ‘photographers’ were defending this woman’s work.

(And I’m not linking her work, because I do not want anyone looking at it. I’m not drawing any attention to it).

For a start – no child’s naked body needs to be posted anywhere. Children should have rights to not allow anyone to post naked photos on line. Children are not property – to exploit for your business, or for vile reasons.

I don’t want photos of me naked online, so children should also have the same rights.

I don’t care if photographers wants to call it ‘art’. It may be art to some people, but it is exposing children’s bodies to everyone – including sick, heinous people. And that is never okay.

What I find even more troubling, is how any parent can want to expose their children’s bodies to the general public. It is very much a red flag. It is exploiting your own child. For money. Continue reading


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A system geared to protecting child sex offenders, and not to protecting children

I read this today – a man who has been charged with 79 counts of child sexual abuse, including rape, assault and making child exploitation material.

http://mypolice.qld.gov.au/blog/2017/01/19/geebung-man-charged-79-offences-rape-making-child-exploitation-material/

These are just the offences the police were able to have enough evidence of, to make arrests. There will far more offences.

This man deserves to be in prison for the rest of his life.

He won’t receive that sentence. He will likely do little prison time, and be made to complete one of the ‘sex offender’ program, that have very poor success rates – in rehabilitating paedophiles.

The legal system is geared towards protecting paedophiles and their ‘human rights’.

The system fails to protect children, from this most heinous abuse.

Paedophiles often get a slap on the wrist as a legal consequence of what they do. And they are let back out into the community – knowing they will re-offend.

Paedophiles rights, are clearly the priority.

To me, they lost any rights, the second they made a choice to sexually abuse a child.

They lost their rights to freedom, the second they caused heinous life long harm – to innocent children.

They lost all rights, the second they stole a child’s innocence from them.

But, the system, the do-gooders, the enablers…. don’t see it that way.

Because the rights of adults, are always considered of far greater importance, than the rights of children.

This is clear within the system dealing with child sex offenders, and is even very evident when considering the rights adults have to hit their children – which is physical abuse.

Animals have more rights, than children.

And no-where is this more deplorable, than in the way children are failed by the legal system dealing with child sex offenders. Continue reading