Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Triangulation Abuse – more common than is realised. Sociopath/narc Apath Minions love it.



Triangulation is the manipulative use of one or more third parties as the “go between” of two adversaries. Both parties need not know they are rivals. Frequently one party is totally unaware they are being attacked until the damage is done. In negative instances the third party also may or may not be aware they are being used as a rumor spreading tool for the aggressor to gain an advantage over the rival.

An example of negative triangulation would be character assassination. Another tactic would be to recruit others, through secrecy and deception, spreading disingenuous misinformation and asking people to “unfriend” the targeted rival on social media. Thereby isolating the target and insulating others from the target’s point of view.

People who triangulate are often pathological liars. Because of this they can never let their word stand on it’s own. They often call in a third person to validate what they say. Or they might triangulate others as a buffer. For example they may call in a third party they think agrees with them and say “why are you always accusing US”? When in actuality you are only questioning the motives of the triangulating aggressor and not the third party they have recruited.

Triangulation can be used positively by mentally healthy individuals as in instances of therapy where a therapist or a marriage counselor is used as an intermediary between spouses. Another positive instance would be the United States mediating negotiations between Israelis and Palestinians.

Triangulation is a favorite tool of the mentally ill suffering from one or more “cluster b” personality disorders. Their perfidious rumors will contain just enough truth as to deceive a credulous enabler. Beyond the sliver of truth, there will be no verifiable specifics. Any request for specifics by the listener will cause irritability and or generate an excuse to end the conversation abruptly. Your job as an obedient ENABLER is to TRUST AND NOT VERIFY.

Character assassins NEVER LEAVE RECORD of what they say. When they tell their stories, they do it one on one so that it is YOUR WORD AGAINST THEIR WORD. This way, if they are ever called on their slanderous statements, there is no record or witness. Libel is seldom an option for a character assassin because they will never write down what they say with a “return address”. At least, not their own…

When it is your word against their word, be assured name calling, verbal and ambient abuse will be at play if they decide to disown what they have said. Gaslighting will occur in various forms such as:

-that’s not what I meant
-that’s not what I said.
-you must be thinking of someone else.

The NEXT TIME you are told something:

– is all of the information verifiable?
– are you the only one hearing the story or are there other witnesses?
– are multiple follow up questions allowed for clarification or do they frustrate and or end the conversation?
– if written, does the writer leave a return address?

Better still, if it’s not your story, don’t repeat it.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

2 thoughts on “Triangulation Abuse – more common than is realised. Sociopath/narc Apath Minions love it.

  1. WoW….I still cannot wrap my head around this kind of behavior and I have a difficult time recognizing it in others. Thanks.
    I’ve been reading about gaslighting and still cannot understand it. Why can I not recognize or understand it?

  2. Unfortunately, this happens everyday and even more so permeated with social media.