Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Parents need to start taking more ownership of their children’s mental health/personality disorder/traits.

Parents need to start taking more ownership of their children’s mental health…

Parents are always quick to say…

‘It wasn’t ‘my’ parenting that caused my child’s mental health disorder/personality disorder, my other child is fine and I brought them up the same’.

Well maybe the parenting style needed to be different for each child – because all children are different.

Parents need to realise that they need to gear their parenting to each child – not assume their parenting they want to have – can be the same for each child.

Children are all different and have different needs.

Spanking may not affect every child – but it can badly affect some and lead to a mental health disorder or personality disorder – because it was too abusive for ‘that individual child’ to handle emotionally and mentally whilst their brain and emotional psyche is developing.

Spoiling a child can not be a problem for some – but for some children – it can result in Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or high level narcissistic traits.

Yet, many parents do not want to acknowledge this, which is their own ego and fear of self reflection.

It is a very strong ego and a complete lack of empathy that says ‘my parenting is going to be this way and it will be that way for each child, regardless of their own individual needs’.

Parenting can have a huge affect on a child’s growing brain – and the way it develops.

Parents need to realise this more.

I do and I am very aware of my children’s emotional needs and gearing my parenting to them as individuals. I am not a perfect parent at all – but I do value my children’s individual needs and parent to them accordingly.


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Jesus was the greatest empath who has lived…but He had boundaries.

At counselling with my doctor today, we were discussing the hurt and pain I feel seeing all the suffering in the world, like asylum seekers being treated badly and children having their parents taken off them, like knowing about the street children in Nepal and how badly abused they are and starving, and feeling a little of their pain.

Knowing millions of people are starving, recognising that I don’t know their level of suffering and how I desperately do not want that for them, which is all about deep empathy.

I said that Christianity doesn’t like to talk about empaths, however Jesus was an empath. My doctor agreed and said the difference is He had boundaries. And I know boundaries – is one of my weaknesses.

I also know I deal with the hurt and pain I feel for all these people suffering – by feeling angry at the people responsible – mostly being all the apaths.

How can they NOT care??????

Well, they just don’t. They are like teenagers, stuck in that teenage egocentric level of emotional intelligence and lack of empathy – and this just did not develop for them. Their lives are still ‘all about them’.

Suffering does in fact grow depth of wisdom and empathy, that cannot be developed in ease and comfort.

And with Christians – this goes along wit their stage 3 adolescent stage of faith, which most never get past too – where all they see is their lives, their own family and the church and the rules and regulations of being a Christian. And that’s it. Just like teenagers in school. Continue reading


Online psychology quiz -can you read people’s emotions?

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/10/03/well-quiz-the-mind-behind-the-eyes/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=2&

I love doing these psychology quizzes, they are my favourite time wasters…:-) I am a psychology nerd.

I did this one, and literally flew through it – as soon as I had read all 4 options for each, I knew immediately.

36/36 score.

My capacity to read emotion into people’s faces – is very well developed.

People’s faces and the emotions I read easily – will always create a reaction in me. If they are feeling upset, I will react with them, upset with them, if they are scared, I will be scared with them etc. I even know when someone is trying to conceal their facial expressions.

I can read people’s eyes too. I have seen that blackness that can come into people’s eyes as they have hurt me – common in psychopaths. I’ve seen the predatory & manipulative stare used too. I can see those in others.

I can often tell by someone’s facial expressions and their body language if they are lying – without even hearing what comes out of their mouth. Had a lot of people lie to me, so this is something I easily pick up on. And fake, non genuine apologies.

I have needed to learn this, so it isn’t a surprise that I am gifted above the average for it. And purely because of my life, childhood and all the abuse and different abusers.

Not anything that makes me better than anyone, we all have our strengths, and this is one of those for me.

It’s a level of emotional intelligence I have deep capacity in.

Whereas, managing strong hurt/distressed based negative emotions, yeah – that is NOT one of my strengths in emotional intelligence. At all.

But, hey, at least I know it. Still self insight – of what I am crap at too lol 🙂


Yay!! A wise Christian – who believes Christian yoga is perfectly okay and good!

Quote from Mark Driscoll – Popular Unwise Christian in the US.

“A faithful Christian can no more say they are practicing yoga for Jesus than they can say they are committing adultery for Jesus.”

So many Christians believe these ‘rules’ – like yoga is not okay, because it comes from a different religion and therefore is evil and if you do yoga, you are inviting evil into your life….

I have always thought this was crap, and as long as I am not thinking of these gods of these other religions, then how can it be harmful?

Today, my doctor confirmed she believes in yoga. Yay!!!! Someone’s who also sees this rubbish Christians peddle – is wrong and nonsense. Continue reading


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Narcissists are highly abusive people….

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I can quite truthfully say, that narcissists have caused so much abuse/trouble in my life.

Narcissists aren’t honest, they lie and hide the truth.
Narcissists hate it when you expose their lies, personality.
Narcissists love attention, love positions where they can be in authority, like bosses, pastors, teachers, politicians, parents.

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Appointment with my doctor went well.

Had my appt I was dreading with my doctor. My anxiety was pretty ‘up there’.

But, it went really well and we talked for two hours about some of what has been swimming around in my head and why I have been suicidal within the last 2 months.

I thanked her for emailing me while she was away, when I know she didn’t need to and she said it was because ‘you matter.’ Hearing those words, were huge, after a lifetime of not mattering to so many people and not mattering even to my friends and people around me and being ignored while feeling that low. They are powerful words ‘you matter’ and words I say to people on my community page.

She knows I am struggling and now losing my counsellor is bad timing and she said she can see me more while we get through this difficult time. So that was a huge relief.

We talked about apathy and empathy and she agreed with my observations about this and I said I am struggling to cope with all I am processing and she can help me with that.

One thing she said which I didn’t expect – was that my capacity & discernment to spot and detect narc/sociopath/psychopath/apath/egocentric behaviours/traits in people is greater than hers.

Despite having some differences of opinions about things (which is okay), she is a highly experienced, highly trained, very wise, Christian doctor/counsellor, so for her to say that, was firstly a surprise and secondly, made me realise just how deep this discernment of mine is and thirdly that I do assume things about people as a protection method. Continue reading