Neuroscience – Maybe this explains why empaths, are attracted to Narcissists/Sociopaths.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pathological-relationships/201203/genetic-and-neuro-physiological-basis-hyper-empathy-0

From this link ^^^

I heard a universal ‘sigh of relief’ go out around the world as women read the title of this article. Don’t you feel better knowing there really IS some science backing the whole issue of having way too much empathy?

When we began writing about women who love psychopaths, anti-socials, sociopaths and narcissists, we already ‘assumed’ that maybe you did have too much empathy (as well as other elevated temperament traits). We just didn’t know how much, or why. When we began the actual testing for the research of the book ‘Women Who Love Psychopaths’, we learned just ‘how much’ empathy you had.

Do I need to tell you? WAY TOO MUCH!

By now you have probably already suspected that your super-high empathy is what got you in trouble in this pathological relationship. But, did you know there is hard science behind what we suspected about what is going on in your relationship with your super-trait of high empathy? It really IS all in your head – and your genes.

In fact, these genes influence the production of various brain chemicals that can influence just ‘how much’ empathy you have. These brain chemicals include those that influence orgasm, and it’s effect on how bonded you feel, while also influencing some aspects of mental health (No, no! That is not a good mix!).

Other brain chemicals influence how much innate and learned fear you have. However, females don’t seem to assess threats well, and the chemicals then increase her social interactions while at the same time she is not assessing fear and threats well (This is not a good thing!!).

One of the final chemical effects delays your reflexes (like not getting out of the relationship), and also impacts your short and long term memory (how you easily store good memories that are very strong, and how you store bad memories which are easily forgotten). And, since it is genetic, it can run in entire families that produce ‘gullible’ and ‘trusting’ individuals who seem to just keep getting hurt.

Of course, the reverse is also true. Genes can influence the absence of various brain chemicals that influence ‘how little’ empathy a person has. We already know in great detail how this affects those with personality disorders. Personality disordered people (especially Cluster B disorders) struggle with not experiencing, or not having any empathy.

Watching Sarah Monehan get teary over her mother’s neglect & abandoning her, made me cry .

I contacted Sarah via Twitter, and let her know I had blogged about her courage. She asked for a link, and then said this blog was really good and re-tweeted it onto her own Twitter account.

I was very inspired by Sarah’s courage and strength, and I am so glad she liked this blog.

Being an abuse survivor myself with deep empathy, I am able to understand the pain of others and I am thankful for Sarah’s courage.

I convicted paedophile sexual predator, is known and guilty, due to her courage, integrity and strength.

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/2014/04/09/19/17/hey-dad-co-stars-come-forward-following-robert-hughes-verdict

Sarah Monehan, is a courageous hero – who stood up to the child sex abuser, that not only abused her, but many others. She is amazing. She is someone I consider to have integrity, strength and a capacity to do what is needed no matter how much is hurts, in the process. Robert Hughes is now known to be a child sex offender and people know the truth and this will hopefully reduce the sexual abuse to children.

I believe fully in appropriate consequences, to actions that are chosen to be committed and these 10 crimes are only the ones he has been found to have committed, there will be more. Probably many more. This a reality of thow these predatory paedophiles operate.

I watched A Current Affair, where she bravely spoke about Robert Hughes and about the court case. Sarah became emotional when she spoke of her mother…

View original post 259 more words

Signs That You’ve Been Abused by a Narcissist

I have never thought about whether I have Narcissistic Victim Syndrome as well as PTSD and Complex PTSD.

It would seem I do, and it is pretty obvious I would.

After Narcissistic Abuse

1. YOU DOUBT YOURSELF

Do you recognize that you’re doubting yourself more than you ever have before?

Victims of narcissistic abuse often appear uncertain of themselves, constantly seeking clarification that they haven’t made a mistake or misheard something.

This reactive adaptation to narcissistic abuse is because the narcissist is ALWAYS finger pointing and shifting blame to YOU for ALL of the ups & downs both in the relationship AND in the narcissist’s personal psyche.
Because this relationship has NON EXISTENT boundaries, you will find YOURSELF constantly PUT UPON and FORCED to accept responsibility for things you didn’t do or say. This borrowed humiliation and shame is exactly what the narcissist intends for the victim to take from the narcissist. Their own unfelt core of shame.

2. CONFUSION

Just refer to the above explanation of self doubt and boundary transgression if you want to understand the CONFUSION that is part and…

View original post 1,750 more words

Yay! Advice on how to be a happy Empath/HSP.

http://thehappysensitive.com/

Have you always known there was something “different” about you? Does the world seem to bombard your senses? Have you intuitively known things that others didn’t? Is it all pretty awesome EXCEPT: you’re so worn out, overwhelmed, emotional, stressed and maybe even medicated that you wonder how you fit in? (and how you fit into your life?)

Well, this site is for you. You the intuitively gifted, emotionally perceptive, astutely sensitive and sensorily overstretched. I am like you, and it took me quite a while to figure out what that was exactly.

You see, it all gets a lot better when you figure out what that sensitivity is exactly, how it works, and how you can best work with it, in your own unique way. There is nothing wrong with how you were built. It’s just that, you were likely told you were a mountain bike, when in fact, you are a less sturdy but very agile and fast racing bike. You’ve been driving yourself down muddy tracks and wondering why things felt so wrong. So here’s why, your way of relating to the world is different, your way of traveling through the world is different, and your way of knowing the world is different. You are definitely a bicycle, just a different type.

So, to get the most out of your qualities you need to reorient yourself (what is being sensitive all about?) you need some training (racing bike pedalling techniques) and you might need some guidance and help (turn left, brake, you can do it!).

Welcome to the Happy Sensitive. The place where you are NOT told that you will just have to deal with being a badly designed mountain bike (and that, what’s up with you for apparently lacking humongous shock absorbers anyway?!). The place where you will NOT be told that if you can’t navigate down that muddy track, you just have to try harder. The place where you will NOT be told that being “Highly” is a euphemism for “overly” “exaggerated” and “weirdo” Sensitive. Rather, here it’s all about being sensitive and happy.

An emotion provoking post from my inner child’s pain.

This post received emotional reactions on my community page and I feel so deeply for anyone, who has been through this….

It is bad enough to have even one person abusing you in childhood..

But there is something incredibly sad, desperately tragic, deeply cruel, and beyond fear inducing, about being a child – completely surrounded by abusers, having awareness of fear all around, and having no-one to have any love from, absolutely no-one to feel safe with.

I feel desperately sad for my inner child. For me. I feel like the grieving is killing me sometimes.

If you relate to this, please know, I deeply understand how horrendously traumatic this is, to have endured a childhood where no-one cared and everyone was abusive and unsafe.

I truly don’t believe this can be fully healed. How can you heal such deep unmet needs, without them being met – which isn’t going to happen. I believe you just grieve it for however long that takes, and then start to learn to manage the emotions better and learn to live with it. Become better and better at focussing on the good – now in life. But nothing, ever heals, these severely painful unmet childhood needs.

But, I have to have hope that it will become easier, over time.

To all my abusers, you may have silenced me in the past, but now I have a voice.

FROM THIS…..

Enduring sociopaths/psychopaths

Enduring narcissists

TO THIS

One Year Of Blogging…..From Silence & Suppression – To The Dam Walls Breaking.

Well, I went from 40 years of silence. Silence, suppression, oppression, repression, avoidance, denial..

Then my breakdown in 2012. Then everything suppressed – came gushing out. And it hasn’t stopped gushing.

Started blogging in April 2013, and it’s been a year.

Over 1000 blogs.

As per right now 111,872 hits on my blog, which still amazes me, that the content of my mind, would be of interest.

From no-one ever listening, or wanting to hear me…..to more interest than I really understand. It still bewilders me.

Happy 1 Year Anniversary to me!

I need visuals…journey from scary & dark swamp…to the light again.

I feel like the last few months, I have been wading through this dark, filthy, scary swamp, trying to see my way through the murky swamp water, with little light, almost no visibility, each step unknown as to what I will feel, and too many painful and fear inducing things along the way.

Deep dark memories.

Deep dark fear.

Deep dark pain.

Deep dark emotions.

And feeling very alone, no support, very lost and at times, hopeless.

Nearly giving in the darkness altogether.

Fear and hopelessness are huge triggers for me. They trigger my emotions from the past too.

But, I made it through the swamp.

Just. Praise Jesus.

Now, I have to visualize I am making my away out of the dark swamp and dark forest, and towards the light.

And focus on this visual.

Done for a while, researching/thinking, about abusive people. Time to believe I deserve ‘nice’ stuff.

I have a pretty extensive knowledge of abusive people, from personal experience being abused by them and from research and counselling, and I am aware I have insight and the capacity to pick on unhealthy traits easily.

But, I am actually, right now, sick of thinking about them.

I am so aware of narcissism, I just watched Dr Phil, and within a few minutes of listening to this guy talk about himself and his wife, that I had diagnosed him with Narcissistic PD. And at the end, that is exactly what Dr Phil, also told this guy he believed he had. And then I sat there thinking – what the hell am I doing watching Dr Phil???

I am very aware my PTSD wants me to think about this 24/7. And while processing more of my own pain about my own abuse experiences, I use the opportunity to learn, and I have learned a lot.

But, right now, I am pretty over it.

I know I need other things to occupy my mind with. I’ve always been someone who thinks deeply about everything and anything, so to tell myself, to not think, is like telling myself not to breathe. I know how to do mindfulness and yoga and I need to try harder with that, so once my children are back in school, I will have to force myself to do it.

I was thinking earlier ‘do you deserve to have your head filled 24/7 with abuse related anything, after all you have already been through’. Of course I had to know the answer was no. I actually think this was Jesus’ question for me, so I’m not taking credit.

I think there is still a part of me, that doesn’t believe I deserve anything else, just like I was told, so many times.

Due to all the abuse, both in the past and within the last few years, all of which has been denied or blamed on me, I think emotionally deep down, in my subconscious, I still believe I deserved it, even though intellectually I absolutely know I did not – not any of it.

I think I need to force myself, with my intellectual mind, to stop wading in abuse related stuff, and force my emotional subconscious to have an intervention.

Dear society, please stop putting time frames on people’s healing…

Everyone is different.

Every journey is different.

Only God knows how long each person needs to heal.

For some it may be fairly quick, for some it may be a few years, for some longer and for some it will be a lifelong journey.

Please don’t hurt people more by assuming you know their mind, you don’t.

Please don’t invalidate their suffering.

Please be supportive and kind and accept their journey.