Society promotes the whole ‘focus on a positive attitude’ as being the answer for anything.
Church people like to do focus on ‘count your blessings’.
Neither of these are helpful, or appropriate advice to give to people who are trying to heal severe abuse and trauma. All these do, is avoid suppress, ignore the emotions needed to process the trauma, the emotions needed to grieve. Suppression is never healthy when it comes to abuse and trauma.
How do I know this….because I did it myself for 20 years. And it made my current situation worse.
I did what society and unwise people demand – moved on, got over it, made a life, tried to never think about my past, worked hard, exercised hard, focussed on enjoying myself blah blah blah…
And all that did was suppress the deeply painful emotions and severe trauma, that needed to have been dealt with at the age of 20 yrs old.
But, I had no support, no family so I did what I needed to do to support myself, survive and suppressed it as much as I possible could.
At the age of 40, my life – my very high energy, full on, highly competent life – fell apart because my brain and body could no longer suppress it, as this is not possible indefinitely when the trauma history is severe like mine.
So, I pretty much had a breakdown and I thought I was dying. I was deeply scared and terrified it was the end of me. I could no longer control and suppress everything, as I had for 20 years and this lack of control was truly the worst thing that could happen to me.
This was all made worse, by a narcissistic pastor who harmed me further, with spiritual abuse and grooming. That and the following events, all made my situation considerable worse.
But, I started professional counselling two years ago and it has been really hard, but I am healing. Not as fast as I would like, but I am also learning so much through it all, as God wants, using what was meant for evil, for good, with my willingness for that.
I tweeted about this ‘positive attitude being detrimental to healing and a Ph.D Psychologist shared it and commented that it was correct, so that validates that I do indeed have insight into this.
I checked out her details, as I a always interested in MH professionals work etc. This is Helen’s info @ https://dmu.academia.edu/HelenOwton