Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


My fairy garden is underway :)

Today my husband dragged me out – out of my home and my depression.

We bought a few pots, some little plants and a few solar lights – butterfly ones – to make a start on my fairy garden.

Funny incident occurred – which is so me lol!

After checking out the solar lights, selecting some and then heading to the register, I said to my husband quite concerned “are you sure they are okay for outside?”…..to which he smiled and replied “I don’t think solar lights are gonna be much good inside”…in his teasing/sarcastic/humour tone.  DUH! *rolls eyes….

We just both laughed. Not long before that, he had been telling me how he thinks I downplay my intelligence…hmmmmm…. 🙂

So very me, to say something so stupid…..but also have the capacity to think very deeply about really serious matters in life. Continue reading

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We do need to experience negative emotions, but society is all about ‘happiness is everything’.


Between the books, seminars and blogs, the study of how to make a happy life is practically its own genre. But does all of this happiness-chasing actually work?

The sense that one should always feel good, psychologist Todd Kardashan told The Huffington Post, is toxic. Some research suggests that Americans are actually getting less happy as the years go by. And according to Kardashan, it’s our relentless pursuit of happiness that may be steering us in the wrong direction.

But given the culture of positivity around happiness research and writing, it’s easy to forget that “bad” feelings are healthy and indeed essential to taking part in the full emotional spectrum of the human experience. “The science is very clear that when we try to conceal the distress we feel, we are less productive and less effective, and we end up feeling emotionally worse,” Kardashan said.


And in his new book, The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self — Not Just Your ‘Good’ Self — Drives Success And Fulfillment, co-authored by Robert Biswas-Diener, Kardashan advocates feeling bad.

He believes that this single-minded pursuit of happiness is part and parcel with a strong tendency to seek comfort and avoid discomfort of any kind and that, he argues in his book, is making us psychologically weak.

I agree. Fully.

Glad my own insight, is validated by others, with wisdom.

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Conflicting thoughts over the way other people view me. How I view myself

Many people who view my facebook page, read my blog here, see my website…..tell me I am amazing, wonderful, awesome etc. I don’t believe I am those things and I know I have positive and negative aspects within myself, and I need to keep working on myself, growing, seeking wisdom etc.

But, someone today said my refusal to accept these genuinely meant compliments people give me, like her telling me she thinks I am special, are about my lack of self esteem and due to being abused. I do know I have issues with accepting compliments, but I also truly do not believe I am awesome etc.

Plus, I see people’s big ego’s and see how unhealthy they are, so do not want to go down that track. I want to have humility and be honest with myself and about myself.

I do accept I am a strong, courageous person, to have survived all I have. I accept I process things deeply and see the bigger picture in ways I see many don’t. I am an honest person and I know I have a great capacity for honesty. My refusal to go along with society’s shallow BS – image/success/money needy issues etc ruins people, is wisdom. This is all why I have changed and grown so greatly in the last 2 years. I accept I have insight, life wisdom, the capacity for empathy, to read people etc.

But, I have my issues too. Many. Continue reading