Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

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I’m not writing about how I feel anymore, when down.

I don’t want to write anymore about how I feel.

It’s the same old shit…..more to deal with, deeper layers of devastation, overwhelmed, feel in too much pain, feel fear, know I shouldn’t…blah blah blah.

I’ve said it all before.

I accept this is how it’s always going to be.

Robot mode all day….drink every night to numb it out.

INFP’s as healers, negative traits & likely careers – all absolutely spot on for me.

Healers present a calm and serene face to the world, and can seem shy, even distant around others. But inside they’re anything but serene, having a capacity for personal caring rarely found in the other types. Healers care deeply about the inner life of a few special persons, or about a favorite cause in the world at large. And their great passion is to heal the conflicts that trouble individuals, or that divide groups, and thus to bring wholeness, or health, to themselves, their loved ones, and their community.

Healers have a profound sense of idealism that comes from a strong personal sense of right and wrong. They conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place, full of wondrous possibilities and potential goods. In fact, to understand Healers, we must understand that their deep commitment to the positive and the good is almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. Set off from the rest of humanity by their privacy and scarcity, Healers can often feel even more isolated in the purity of their idealism.

Also, Healers might well feel a sense of separation because of their often misunderstood childhood. Healers live a fantasy-filled childhood-they are the prince or princess of fairy tales-an attitude which, sadly, is frowned upon, or even punished, by many parents. With parents who want them to get their head out of the clouds, Healers begin to believe they are bad to be so fanciful, so dreamy, and can come to see themselves as ugly ducklings. In truth, they are quite OK just as they are, only different from most others-swans reared in a family of ducks. Continue reading

Each person, is at their own level of consciousness & INFP info that is so me.


I know my own levels of consciousness have developed due to my life experiences, and my willingness to learn about humanity. I know I have more to learn and I seek that. But, I do trust my discernment and insight into people, because it is proven accurate too many times.

I want to not stress about these people giving bad advice to others and duping people into believing they are doing good, when I know they are not….because there is little I can do about that and it is not even my job. It is everyone’s own responsibility to figure people out, not mine. I put enough info out there about abusive traits/people to help educate people and I need not do anymore.

Even though it bothers me greatly to know people are being led astray and with unhealthy advice and influences. But, I have to stop stressing about it. I know my empathy to want to help everyone not be hurt, is my overly sensitive mothering instinct, born from my childhood and being a mother as a child and needing to protect my sisters…..but I am not that person anymore.

It is so hard for me to accept much harm, many lies, much deceit, much denial, much abuse, much darkness occurs in the world, right under everyone’s noses, and not stress about it all.

I want the best for every single person in this world….and I realise stressing about that not being a feasible or realistic desire….is only setting myself up for stress, worry and emotional turmoil. Continue reading

I can’t think of anywhere worse to be right now, than at the G20.

All those psychopathic and narcissistic politicians and world leaders….all congregated in one contained area.


I would rather go clean public toilets.

Obama, Abbott and many more, have all been identified by many psychologists, as having very high levels of psychopath/narcissistic traits. Most politicians do. It goes with the territory And anyone with any psychology understanding and insight into humanity, and discernment will know and see this.

But, so many people don’t know this…and it is always interesting to watch who is drawn to them. People who are fascinated with their power and glory, people with similar traits – identifying with these world leaders.

*shudders more.

It certainly helps validate my suspicions about certain people. People I can see so clearly have no self insight into who they truly are inside and what their real motivations in life, are. No awareness of how egocentric, egotistic, and ‘all about me’ – they are. Pretend to be helping others (like politicians do) – but really it is all about themselves, their glory, their success, their desire to be in the limelight.

I can always spot these types. My narc/sociopath/psychopath radar is well skilled.

People’s red flags I can spot, often become validated as my discernment watches them over time.